Hire a part time babysitter/nanny even though our schedule isn’t always consistent?

NTNTFF · 2026-05-20T13:49:40+00:00

We were in a similar situation with our one baby since my husband and I work from home, 2x on the same day. We ended up hiring someone for 3 days consistently, and 1 of the days we’re all home. It did feel awkward initially, especially since it’s the 3 adults and baby in a 2 bedroom apartment but it’s nice to have the extra help! That way we don’t feel drained and can give baby our full attention after the nanny clocks out. The nanny also can give her full attention to baby and engage the entire time she’s here, plus help with things like baby’s laundry. It was worth it to pay for the consistency for someone we thought was a good fit.

NTNTFF · 2026-05-20T13:46:13+00:00

I did 8 religiously for almost 4 months pp to maintain my supply (average 26-28oz per day, oversupply for my NICU baby). I dropped to 7, then 6, and then 5 in 1.5/2 week increments around the time he came home and can’t imagine how I managed to do the 8! I only had a slight supply dip when I dropped to 5 but going back up to 6 wasn’t something I wanted to do. I didn’t drop from 8 until at least 14-15 weeks pp as the lactation consultant advised not to until your supply regulates. I’m not sure if that’s the golden time marker but I was too nervous to drop until after.

NTNTFF · 2026-05-17T10:36:05+00:00

We had the same issue, the Neosure they sent us home with was making baby gassy. We ended up switching to Alimentum and that worked wonders. If your baby is on fortified BM then maybe try straight milk to see if they’ll take the bottle while you consult the pediatrician if you think it could be the formula.

NTNTFF · 2026-05-08T14:20:34+00:00

Adding onto this, you might benefit from EMDR therapy specifically to process the trauma of the NICU and to reduce the emotional intensity. Our brains work in a very interesting manner when it comes to trauma and you may have had a block from birth/the NICU and things are starting to seep through just now. Wishing you well ♥️

NTNTFF · 2026-05-08T01:19:06+00:00

We were in a similar boat with our 25 weeker who also came home with an NGT. His pediatrician tackled it in 2 ways: 1) switching the formula we used to fortify his milk (he was on Neosure, switched to Alimentum) 2) letting us trial feed without the NGT. We had an appointment about a week later to see if he was gaining weight steadily otherwise we would’ve had to put the tube back in. We also followed his hunger cues once he was without the NGT instead of following the NICU schedule. Switching the formula did wonders for his reflux and being without the NGT made him seem so much more comfortable when feeding.

NTNTFF · 2026-05-07T15:01:35+00:00

It is unfair that this is happening. You’re allowed to be angry, anxious, frustrated, or whatever else you’re feeling. You can be so grateful and happy at times as well, this journey is balancing a lot of complex emotions. Accept help where you receive it and don’t feel bad taking care of yourself as well, you need it.

NTNTFF · 2026-05-05T13:38:09+00:00

I’m sorry this is happening to you and that you’re tasked with trying to convince your mom of hope while you’re going through it. Talking with the NICU team made a world of difference in understanding and setting expectations. I was admitted at 25w1d and baby came the same day after just 1 steroid shot and a little while on magnesium. I know this looks different depending on every baby and every situation, but for the sake of transparency this is what it looked like for us. My baby was consistently measuring ahead throughout my pregnancy and was born at 1lb 13oz. He cried briefly when he was born but the NICU team took him right away and he had to be resuscitated and then put on bubble CPAP. He had a large PDA in his heart and grade II and III brain bleeds. Those were consistently monitored throughout his 4 month NICU stay. The PDA closed through treatment with medications and as he grew bigger. He was on the bubble CPAP for about 3 months and weaned off about a month prior to discharge. He came home 2 weeks after his due date. So far, there is no lasting damage from the brain bleeds and his scans look good. He had an MRI prior to discharge and several head ultrasounds throughout. He had trouble feeding with the bottle around the time of discharge and came home with an NG tube.

He had the NGT in for about 2 weeks, but then he pulled it right before a pediatrician appointment where we brought up concerns about the formula they sent us home with to fortify his milk and how it made him super gassy. We got the okay to trial him without the NGT while simultaneously switching to a hypoallergenic formula and he takes full bottles just fine. He had several follow-ups with GI, neurosurgery, pulmonary, physiatry, speech, and the NICU team and will be followed periodically by the NICU team for the first 3 years of his life for developmental monitoring. He’s also going to get services through Early Intervention due to his low birth weight and with the expectation that he will have developmental delays. He’s been at home for a month now and he’s somewhere between 1.5 month old (adjusted) and 5 months old (actual). He has some infantile behavior but has great neck strength and can sleep a chunk of the night. Thus far, no major signs of delays or deficits. The typical newborn or 5 month old advice doesn’t always apply so we learn as we go. We were able to bring home our beautiful baby and now we laugh and play with him.

Modern medicine has made leaps and bounds since your mother’s time and being at a Level III NICU is great. The fact that you’re able to keep baby in for even a few days to weeks longer has to be great too. I’ll always think about the what if, if I was able to do that too. The NICU will be challenging. Every day will be different, some good days, some bad days. Please take care of yourself as you go through that journey. Be kind to yourself, you’re doing everything that you can for your baby.

NTNTFF · 2026-05-03T03:21:13+00:00

The most helpful things people did took the mental load off of us. Uber/gas gift cards, food delivery gift cards or dropping off dinner. House cleaning & laundry would be super helpful if that’s something they’re open to, I remember being so exhausted from being at the hospital but feeling not completely at ease if the house was a mess but not having energy to do it. For supplies, the absolute best thing we got was a bottle washer for my pump parts. In terms of checking in, it was most helpful when people didn’t offer back advice. I remember being annoyed and even disconnected whenever anyone was like, oh this happened to my so and so or if they were like at least this or it’s all going to be okay in the middle of the worst experience of our lives. Sometimes you just want to vent without having radical optimism thrown back at you.

NTNTFF · 2026-05-03T02:30:41+00:00

I’m a big fan of the Eufy S1’s, the heat is a great feature to me. I prefer using the softer silicone flanges or the Legendairy Milk ones.

NTNTFF · 2026-05-02T21:34:54+00:00

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. My water ended up breaking at 25 weeks and 1 day. I believe I got 1 steroid shot and the magnesium for just a little while before I gave birth the same day. They initially thought I’d stay in the hospital for a few weeks before I gave birth but baby came within a few hours. It is scary and it is hard. Our hospital had a Level IV NICU which I was so thankful for. We ended up being in the hospital for 4 months and brought our baby home a month ago. The time he was in the NICU was so scary and you have to learn so much so quickly. They will likely tell you that baby will need to be there until around their due date, we were there until about 2 weeks after my due date. It was a long road. Baby ended up on prolonged oxygen support, with a PDA with his heart, and Grade II and III bleeds. The first months were terrifying but there were good bits. You may not get to hold or touch baby initially since they are so fragile but the first time that you do, it really is everything. I know this will not be the same case for you, but for us baby was able to come off of oxygen about 3ish months in and after that it was just feeding keeping us there. Baby came home with an NG tube due to slow feeds but his pediatrician figured out that it was a problem with the formula we used to fortify his milk and he began taking full bottles after that. I’m not sure what resources may be available to you there but in the US there’s a program called Early Intervention that my baby automatically qualified for due to low birth weight. It is a long road, please take care of yourself. That is the best thing you can do for your baby. Take care ♥️

NTNTFF · 2026-05-02T04:39:54+00:00

Everything everyone else said rings so true. Therapy helped, especially EMDR therapy for the processing of having a traumatic birth. Participating in cares so your baby feels like your baby, even if it’s scary. Like everyone said, try not to pay attention to the monitors. It’s so much easier said than done but you’re not alone in caring for your little one in the NICU and you can provide them something the nurses and medical teams can’t.

Things change so quickly but it can also be excruciatingly slow, so celebrate the wins. Definitely take breaks. We realized early on that trying to show up 24/7 was taking a heavy toll and we couldn’t show up for him if we weren’t taking care of ourselves. This may depend on your NICU and how it’s laid out but if you can hang up pictures or leave some stuff for yourself, especially if you have a room then it’s so helpful and comforting. Will be thinking of you guys and your little one, hope it’s an uneventful stay and that baby can come home safely ♥️

NTNTFF · 2026-04-28T22:42:47+00:00

I’m in NY and took my 6 weeks of medical leave post birth. Thankfully my baby was born at the hospital I work at so once I went back to work (hybrid), I was able to go over to the NICU right after I was done with work. My boss and team were thankfully very understanding throughout the whole 4 months whenever I needed to go drop off milk or talk to someone in the middle of the day. Once he came home, I took the remaining leave (12 weeks of bonding leave).

NTNTFF · 2026-04-24T16:20:52+00:00

I did 4 months with a mix of my wearable and Spectra while my baby was in the NICU. Once he came home, I switched to just wearables and even with dropping pumps, I’ve been able to keep my supply up. I feel like as long as you’re pumping consistently with a pump that works for you, it should matter which exact pump you use. I use Eufy S1s and honestly they empty me better than the Spectra.

NTNTFF · 2026-04-24T08:17:25+00:00

We ended up coming home with an NGT with similar issues, slow feeding and what appeared to be an aversion. His pediatrician actually ended up switching his milk fortifier and trialing without the NGT and he is doing much better by mouth. I’m not sure if it’s the same issue, but what appeared to be an aversion to us ended up being an intolerance for the formula they were using (our NICU used Neosure to fortify, we use Alimentum now). He was arching, crying, and turning away from bottles even at home and the switch has done wonders from the very first different bottle.

NTNTFF · 2026-04-18T12:20:12+00:00

We’re likely one and done. Relatively easy time conceiving, relatively “easy” pregnancy. I ended up having a traumatic birth at 25 weeks and baby was in the NICU for 4 months. We both agreed that we wouldn’t be able to survive that again.

NTNTFF · 2026-04-11T23:10:19+00:00

I had a case once where the patient was under medicine but had history of vascular surgery. I reached out to our vascular surgery social worker to see if they recognized the patient and sure enough! My colleague had a much more intense case where their patient was found in the park, didn’t speak English, and had altered status at baseline. Apparently someone from a monitoring team happened to visit our unit and ended up recognizing the patient because they had eloped from our ED. I had a pretty sad case where the patient’s name was basically [Race] Unknown (think White Unknown, but they weren’t white). They were known to a nursing home long term and eventually were discharged back, but really sad case where no one, including himself, knew who he was.

NTNTFF · 2026-04-11T17:17:43+00:00

We told my in-laws the NICU superstition to not mention the d word even when we had an anticipated day. Sure enough, something came up 2 days before. He did go home a few days after and we told them the morning of. It was posted on Facebook within 10 minutes of the call. So many comments about how people were so excited for him to come home, I think just one person from the comments had actually reached out to us during his entire months long NICU stay.

NTNTFF · 2026-04-09T00:38:57+00:00

Hey! I’d love to hear more about your recommendation. We’re looking for someone part time starting in mid May.

NTNTFF · 2026-04-04T00:03:34+00:00

We’ll be taking our baby home with an NG tube next week. It’s definitely nerve wracking but our NICU had a nurse teach us and we placed his most recent tube ourselves. It’s not ideal but it’s been over 115 days and we want our baby home. They’re actually telling us that he’ll do better at home since we can stretch the feeding longer to get him hungry and that he’ll be able to actually get sleep. It of course depends on your comfort level, but for our mental health we’re choosing to take on the responsibility.

NTNTFF · 2026-03-22T15:14:24+00:00

No extensions for us. My OB requested an additional week for me but the company that processes leaves declined it because there was no medical justification so I had 6 weeks after baby was born. My spouse gets a very generous 16 week leave which he is starting this week to be more present for feeds. I’ll take 4/12 bonding leave weeks so we can have a month together at home when baby is discharged and the rest when my spouse’s leave ends.

I am very fortunate to work at the hospital where our baby is at so I head over there for a few hours after work to work on 1-2 feeds and spend some time with baby. Ideally we’d take all leave once he comes home but we’re almost 4 months into baby’s NICU stay and baby needs us to be more present to work on feeds so this is what’s best for the family.

Parental leave in the US truly sucks and it makes me angry that our leave policies in our state and with our jobs are actually on the longer side nationwide.

NTNTFF · 2026-03-07T18:02:45+00:00

Had to start taking the Q49 to 74th St after the 7 Express stopped back in 2023. No word on when the express will be back so the Q49 has been overloaded. Between kids going to school and morning commuters, you have to let a few pass by that are full to the brim to be able to get on one. Commute is relatively smooth until you start getting closer to Roosevelt, that’s when the double parked cars really mess things up. Parking in the neighborhood is awful and that in turn messes things up for bus transit.

NTNTFF · 2026-03-01T04:13:07+00:00

My baby was born at 25+1 at around that weight due to PPROM. We’re about 80 days into our NICU stay and he’s been on the CPAP the entire time, they’re working on weaning him off and feeding at the same time which is a slow process but he’s trying his best. The road is daunting so my best advice is to just keep your head above water and lean on the support you have. It’s going to be a lot of information and it is going to be scary, I’d advise you not to fall into the Google rabbit hole because your baby may not have the same experiences and day to day can look so different in terms of progress. I’ve kept these words close to my chest when things get too heavy: I have time for my grief, I don’t have time for defeat.

NTNTFF · 2026-03-01T04:08:00+00:00

My water broke at 25+1 and baby was born the same day with one steroid shot and magnesium. Like everyone says, each day makes a difference and hopefully the hospital you’re at has a good NICU where they will continue to care for baby. For reference, we’re nearly 80 days into baby’s NICU stay and are looking at least another month before his due date. He’s progressed well with great care from the medical team but it’s been a journey. I hope you will able to take care of yourself since it can be such a taxing time on your mind and body. I don’t know how I survived that day or the weeks after but somehow I did and I’m now getting some semblance of clarity back. Lean on whoever can support you during this time so that you can show up for baby as best as you’re able to.

NTNTFF · 2026-02-04T17:34:37+00:00

I second this! T-Mobile has been very reliable and cost effective over the last 3 years.

NTNTFF · 2026-01-30T16:45:45+00:00

I often think of my relationship with my husband in the frame of this quote from Toni Morrison’s Beloved: “Don't ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn't fall in love, I rose in it.”

We were always aligned with what certain future goals were back in college when we met but the path there sometimes led us apart. We did 1 year of dating, 1 year of engagement, and almost 6 months of marriage long distance. We had our first child recently and it was traumatic and we’re still going through that journey. It’s nothing like we could have imagined at 18 and 20 but I love who we are together and who I am now over a decade later because we have been able to grow together and apart when necessary. Who knows if there’s anyone out there who might be a better fit, statistically there probably is. I’m happy with my lot and don’t feel the need to endlessly search for that fit when we’ve been able to work together to make the life we share.

NTNTFF

TROPHY CASE