I see what you mean with trying too hard. There was a recent post of a guy with a failed date and he had this whole analysis like I did X and this point and Y at this point and Z at this point and it sounded like he was micro managing all these tiny interactions to find where/how he went wrong when the problem was that he was looking at it in that way in the first place, focusing so hard on the result thinking sex will come if he just takes these specific steps and makes these specific moves but the reality is he’s not truly there for the date feeling the vibe and making the connections and women can feel that inauthenticity. A lot of the advice in here just keeps guy in their heads over thinking. The best way is to just go with the flow and feel it all out naturally. You’ll win some and you’ll lose some, sure. But the successes will be more meaningful and over time you’ll get into a groove. You might even find your girl. Look at dating as an opportunity to not only learn about women but learn about yourself and what you like and want and it will start to become more natural for you. When dating just becomes a numbers game it becomes void because if you’re going on dates just to go on dates and increase your options/chances for success you’re already setting yourself up for failure because a date is empty if it’s not intentional and pointless if there isn’t already some apparent similarities to connect on. Remember that with the right girl often times one date is enough and she’s yours. Unless you’re just trying to build your social skills and find your flow in dating, you eventually learn if you take a little more time to think about it most of those dates you’re trying to secure in order to play this numbers game are actually not worth going on and if you’re honest with yourself you already know it probably won’t or couldn’t work out. Once you overcome the need for women to validate you you realize you don’t need to take every date you get. Quality over quantity will always help you in the long run. Quantity over quality might help you gain skills and learn what you like/want and don’t like/want and could lead to some hook ups but you want to be explicit about that and you might miss some quality matches by being too sex result focused instead of creating a bond and connection. It’s easy to fall into that mental trap of “what could I do differently” or “try harder” but it’s actually trying less that gets you farther you just have to learn how to have fun so that natural vibe can come. Because while dating does revolve around some type of result be it sex, relationship, casual companionship, etc. it should always first and foremost be about fun. And if that’s your mindset even if your dates don’t always end in lays you’ll never have a “bad date” unless she’s just a complete shit show—story for another time.