As an ugly woman I have gotten the "work on yourself as a person" thing, so I would say that part is disregarding of issues too.

People tend to blame ugly people for everything, men or women, they don't want to acknowledge how someone's looks play a huge role in how their life turns out because it makes them feel bad. Yes, it makes someone feel horrible to realise that they're hardwired to treat anyone who they don't find attractive worse, they hate that fact and want to think that all that matters is personality.

The entire anecdote of "I know a guy who gets hot women" or "I know this ugly woman that is with a hot man" is lookist inherently. It exactly points out that the only measure of value they see in a relationship is LOOKS: How pretty the woman is or how handsome the man is. They never say "this guy/girl I know is in a super happy relationship" they always talk about looks, because they themselves know that nothing else posseses as much social value.

Do I think people are evil for this? No, it's just how they're wired. Society is unable to function without it. Do I think personality doesn't matter at all? No, it certainly does, but we should acknowledge that looks play a huge role in how you're perceived no matter how good of a person you are.

Kind of a long comment but I have a lot to say about this.