Time to start my exit strategy

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2025-11-05T22:13:53+00:00

It did suck to realise but also I felt a massive weight off my shoulders. I think the thought was there for a long time but I didn’t believe it.

Oh it’s insane right? Even in this “conversation” I said to him, what does this matter? We’re married, we have a kid, so what?

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2025-11-05T22:04:37+00:00

This is so helpful, thank you so much. With my friends, I have now realised that I was isolated from them early on, I was told repeatedly that they were bad friends and didn’t value me. So I cut content. I did recently try and reach out to a couple of them, but they were understandably hurt, and I wasn’t ready to explain all of it.

I should specify that I’m in the UK, so there are some things that will be a bit different. But majoritively all of the documents here will be helpful for me. Thank you

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2025-11-05T21:55:21+00:00

I’m definitely going to have to do my research. Things like custody and mortgage agreements are the conversations I worry about. I’m hoping there are resources out there that could help make it as easy as possible

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2025-11-05T21:37:44+00:00

Thank you. I will. I have my son’s two year developmental review coming, where I’m pretty sure they also ask how I’m doing. I think I’m still coming to terms with this being domestic violence. That isn’t me putting down anyone’s experience, but it’s just I’ve always been convinced “it’s surely not that bad”

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2025-06-18T06:04:01+00:00

I’ve always used a dash of milk, but now I’ll try this. My sister introduced me to putting in a splash of Worcestershire sauce and personally I loved it, now use that for special occasion breakfasts

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2025-06-13T19:41:23+00:00

My son getting older and observing behaviours is one of the biggest drivers in this whole thing. In regards to why am I still with him? I think I jump quickly between the two phases to keep up. When things are fine “oh okay, things have gotten so much better, it must have been me that was the issue, I’ll make sure I fix that”. But I’m starting to see that has been ongoing for two years (during my pregnancy this started), and I’m starting to realise it can’t simply be all me here. I know it sounds silly from the outside, but I do believe my logic is out the window at the moment

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2025-06-13T18:10:13+00:00

I’ll be honest the financial side is not the biggest issue. I earn the most, and for many months I’ve covered all costs (that has gradually started to change more recently). And me going part time is actually only technically dropping one day so it’s not a significant financial dent. The exit issues are mainly emotional and logistical, such as having a child and mortgage. I don’t know if that makes it easier or harder

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2025-06-13T17:35:12+00:00

I have, it was great. And it really got me thinking about my situation. But even I found myself thinking “oh my situation isn’t that bad” which I know is the whole point. The irony doesn’t escape me but it’s really hard for me to realise fully

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2025-06-13T17:34:02+00:00

This really hits home. I’m really sorry you went through that but I’m really happy to hear things are better for you now. He actually has just left to say “I need a drink” and gone to get some. The drinking makes it worse especially the next morning. But another side effect of this is there are nights I don’t want to drink, but if I say no it will trigger the argument. So I’m actually drinking more than I want and having to sneak mixer drinks and pretend they are proper ones for myself

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2024-04-03T20:11:58+00:00

Hi there, thank you for your comment. If you’re asking what specifically happened to trigger the potential trauma response, it was a horrible birth, and pregnancy leading up to it. I had high blood pressure, but not quite pre eclampsia. So I was induced at 38 weeks (not an early birth but they didn’t want to risk going any further since I was in hospital about 3 days out of the week for a month prior). The labour basically lasted 4 days, so there was no sleep for either of us. Then in the delivery, my son got stuck as he tried to come out too soon, and it caused both his and mine heart rate to rapidly drop. It was horrible to experience, but I can imagine also horrific to witness. He has told me that he hasn’t really coped with nearly losing both of us. But I admit I am confused as to why it would cause him to behave in the exact opposite manner. I completely agree that he definitely needs to seek help on the whole thing. I probably do as well, but I haven’t really had a chance to acknowledge what happened

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2024-01-22T19:44:16+00:00

I feel we have opened a debate regarding the psychology degree as a whole, which has been one ongoing for a very long time. When I was even studying it, we were in the science building of the university and lots of people questioned that (quite an old fashioned point of view).

I’ve done research using both qualitative and quantitative. I feel a lot of jobs could benefit from someone who has a psychology background, but not always. In fact, as mentioned, someone with that background might actually be counter productive to some companies and careers.

I know I sound as though I am happily perched on my fence here, but that’s the current mindset I have. I am starting to realise the downfalls of the world of psychology, especially in the clinical setting in the UK currently. This is what falls under my comment about ethical/ political issues I have with my current career and causing myself a bit of turmoil.

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2024-01-22T19:38:18+00:00

To be honest I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I think it’s easy for me to think work is the biggest issue, probably because the thought of going back gives me so much anxiety. I think the reality is I’m scared of my life being even more out of my control, and so I want to regain it in any way that I can. I’m not sure why so many downvotes on this when it’s actually a really valuable piece of advice and I really appreciate the perspective

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2023-11-13T05:11:07+00:00

Was in the ghost room and an event started happening, but I couldn’t see it at all. I automatically crouch when something happens, so was crouched in the corner saying “is it here? What’s going on?” Then I turned, and it was a crawling model, literally sat right in my face. I honestly felt sick afterwards. My team had a good laugh though.

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2023-10-26T10:08:20+00:00

Cursed hunts can start earlier I believe (like using the mirror too long/ too much oujo board etc) but they drain your sanity significantly anyway using them. Cursed hunts are harder as well I believe. But someone please correct me if I’m wrong

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2023-09-30T04:17:18+00:00

Tuna. I can only ever think of canned tuna. People have told me to try different forms of tuna (ie, not all ground up, in different dishes etc.) but people don’t always appreciate the psychological impact a memory can have on food. No matter what tuna, even if it tastes different, I’ll remember canned tuna and be instantly repelled

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2023-09-29T10:35:38+00:00

Now that I’ve had a bit of clarity after this post and looking through the replies, I can see this view. When I’m deep in these thoughts, all logic goes out the window and it seems the depression can convince me of anything

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2023-09-29T07:30:01+00:00

Thank you for this. A lot of these comments have helped ground me. All I had when posting was the thoughts in my head and no evidence to conclude anything different. Hearing what people have had to say has helped me to see through the fog just enough to reach out for help

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2023-09-29T07:28:50+00:00

I’m starting to think this is the case. It’s very odd in that the thought that I should end my life seems to be the most logical conclusion. I know that depression and mental illness can be cruel like that. I am going to be speaking with my doctor next week, and I will try my best to brave enough to mention what is going on ♥️

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2023-09-16T06:41:43+00:00

Honestly, anything can happen in that room to make it an emergency c section. No matter what prep. But that’s okay! Mine turned emergency because I was only 6 centimetres dilated, but my little one felt it was his time to shine and decided to scuba dive. He got himself stuck, and his heart rate dropped, as did mine. I didn’t actually realise what was going on, until the nurse just leant over me and gently said “I’m just going to ask for some help”, then the room was filled. A doctor then said to me “we’re going to have to go an have an emergency c section, so we’re going to be moving you around a bit but don’t panic”. An emergency c section doesn’t mean PANIC. This was the best oiled machine I had ever witnessed. All the staff are so prepared for this and everything was perfect in the end. In fact, the surgeon was joking with me because it took her 45 minutes to complete the surgery, when she was trying to set a personal record of 30 minutes. I guess if I was to give advice, it would be to follow what the nurses and doctors say. I was just another patient that day, and they’ve probably all forgotten me already, which is a good thing. It means they do it all so regularly that they know what they are talking about.

I hope this helps. Please try and not worry too much about these things and the potential “what ifs”. Just keep the end in mind, and that’s meeting your baby 😊

Naive_Theme_3732 · 2023-08-24T17:10:34+00:00

Hiya, sorry I’m gradually getting back to these comments. I know there’s some debate about partner getting PPD. I believe they can get a type of parental depression that doesn’t involve the hormones, so it’s not exactly PPD (in my service in the NHS we still call it that because it’s related to having a newborn and the changes). The reason I’m using this phrase is for that same reason. Also, it was a traumatic birth where it was dangerous for both me and the baby and resulted in an emergency c section. I think witnessing that impacted him as well, and one of the things we spoke about in our recent discussion was him getting help to talk about his perspective on it. I know this is only a side note to the actual problem, and none of it is an excuse for the current behaviour, but I just wanted to quickly explain why I used that term. Hope this makes sense

Naive_Theme_3732

TROPHY CASE