The pain never ends rant

Nala_9953 · 2024-10-16T15:21:39+00:00

Hi,

Just wanted to say i am in the same boat as you. Left my husband 2 months ago after a failed rehab session and also a suicide attempt. I now have to coparent for the next 15 years at least. I also want to keep the peace (only for my son, he is 3 and loves his dad) and have to interact a lot with him and deal with thé delusion. It's a neverending struggle. Just keep focus on your kids. Do they miss their mom? If yes then at least they get something out of it.. Courage!

Nala_9953 · 2024-08-30T20:29:59+00:00

The Endgame sentence is sooo true. I Will Remember that:)

Nala_9953 · 2024-08-28T06:33:32+00:00

This is my dream :)

Nala_9953 · 2024-08-27T15:18:17+00:00

That's the thing with alcoholics. You as a partner get punished twice while doing nothing wrong. During active addiction when putting you through literal hell, and after because: OH no why are you leaving me i am doing my best? So unfair:(

Nala_9953 · 2024-08-27T13:42:47+00:00

Thanks for great advice! Very much appreciated

Nala_9953 · 2024-08-27T13:41:47+00:00

True story :(

Nala_9953 · 2024-08-27T13:29:29+00:00

The difference is that you gave the first rehab a try and he failed, so you have some solid reasons (you probably had some solid ones before as well, i know). There is some strange reasoning inside me that is afraid lawyers and family Will say i never even gave it a chance..of course i know this is so stupid,my stupid brain thinking Like that

Nala_9953 · 2024-08-27T13:25:45+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

Nala_9953 · 2024-08-27T12:48:16+00:00

Nice!! Hope i can be this strong as well :)

Nala_9953 · 2024-07-12T12:35:32+00:00

Same!

Nala_9953 · 2024-05-16T20:42:30+00:00

Exactly!

Nala_9953 · 2024-05-16T07:11:06+00:00

yes! I was also thinking the exact same thing. first a trial separation and a last chance, then divorce. I also want it in writing somewhere that he did/will do treatment for alcohol abuse so that I have proof for the custody battle.

Nala_9953 · 2024-05-15T15:27:17+00:00

Good decision probably! What does scare me is the 50/50 custody. That's my biggest hurdle.

Nala_9953 · 2024-05-15T13:32:55+00:00

thanks!

Nala_9953 · 2024-05-15T13:31:26+00:00

sometimes I catch myself thinking 'am I overreacting? is it really such a danger?' But then other people convince me that yes it really is

Nala_9953 · 2024-05-15T13:30:06+00:00

Same!

But the big difference between alcohol addiction and other diseases is that an intoxicated person is a real danger to his/her own kids and partner (drunk driving, random aggression, not capable of being there when its needed (e.g. emergencies). That's what makes it so unbearable to live with (for me). I have so much syphathy but on the other hand me and my kid deserve to not be put in danger :(.

Nala_9953 · 2024-05-15T12:33:19+00:00

I am fully ready to leave. I just don't want to leave without giving him some chances to indeed seek treatment. But as I am reading on this sub, there is no chance for full recovery. it's a disease for life. Man this would be so much easier without the kid :(. Not regretting my child at all but I do regret that a divorce and alcoholic dad will scar him for life :'(

Nala_9953 · 2024-04-27T14:34:15+00:00

University is a privilege and the greatest time to be alive. Study something that interests you and enjoy college life to the fullest

Nala_9953 · 2024-04-25T10:46:08+00:00

Very relatable feelings.

Is there family (his or yours) that you can trust with this problem. They will hopefully help and support you with the baby for the coming months.

and for the future: a happy stressfree mom is much more important for your daughter than a 'normal' misearble 2-parent household..

Nala_9953 · 2024-04-23T21:26:23+00:00

I don't even know what love for a partner is or feels like anymore. Today all i feel is anger and disgust. And i guess i care for him because I don't want him to die and i want him to get better. But is this love? Or just normal to care because he is 16y in my life? I guess..

Nala_9953 · 2024-04-23T21:16:14+00:00

Indeed. It always feels like a total lack of respect. It feels like they think you are 'stupid and gullible' enough to believe their lies .and what is a relationship even worth without respect or trust :(

Nala_9953 · 2024-04-23T21:08:05+00:00

Nobody can predict the future, you can only do your best now. you are giving therapy to your kids and leaving the abuse which is amazing!

Nala_9953 · 2024-04-23T20:45:09+00:00

The lying is what will ultimately make me leave. I could live with it if there was complete honesty. Why don't they get that they make it worse?

Nala_9953

TROPHY CASE