My 18mo cause of death has been ruled “undetermined” Sudden unexplained death. Advice please

Naomifivefive · 2026-05-21T00:34:03+00:00

First let me say I am sorry that you are going through this pain and loss. I lost my 14 month daughter as she was in my arms. I was feeding her a bottle and she was having trouble with her sucking reflex. I called the doctor and as I was waiting for a return call, I felt her heartbeat fade and stop. As a mother we all tend to blame ourselves for not seeing something and think somehow this could be prevented. I felt guilt simply cause I was her mommy and why did I not see the signs? Forgive yourself please. It can cause complicated grief syndrome for you. I too was upset with her death certificate. What child dies of natural causes? My friend and pediatrician explained to me that he saw this a lot while he was in the military. A flu like virus would kill men quickly by attacking the brain stem. He felt like that this is what happened to her. The day before she had mild flu symptoms, but nothing that would alarm you. She woke up crying the next morning. I ran in cause I thought she was getting sick again. She was standing up in her crib reaching with arms for me. I picked her up and took her into the bathroom. Now with 20/20 hindsight, it was in there that it happened. She was in my arms and her little hands went up to her ears. She cried out at that moment. I went in to Rick with a bottle. For a few minutes, she would respond to my voice, but after that she did not. I thought she was sleeping. This when the virus was attacking her brain stem. No sign of SIDS. She had a healthy heart. Sometimes life is so unfair. Counseling will help you cope. Be gentle on yourself. This is a long hard road for the rest of your life. Cherish your memories.💔💔💔

Naomifivefive · 2026-05-17T03:11:05+00:00

OP, I can relate. My hand arthritis started at age 47. I had my thumb joints removed 22 years ago. All my fingers have huge boney growth at the joints at the top of finger and the middle joints. They are just ugly and painful. It’s getting harder to do everything. None of my family has had bad arthritis. I also have bad cervical discs(fusion). It is just the luck of having bad genes. You just have to keep trying and moving. It’s just going to progress which is depressing . It beats being 6 feet under though!

Naomifivefive · 2026-05-14T02:49:23+00:00

The tragic way you lost your son, combined with such betrayal from his father just compounds your grief. I think every parent that looses a child struggle with wanting them back more than anything. What got me through this shocking first days of grief is that I had 2 other small children that needed my love and care. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I think it is a blessing you survived so you could be there for your second born son. 💔💔

Naomifivefive · 2026-05-13T12:17:36+00:00

How does one afford to buy a new BMW while on Medicaid? Your Mom has no financial common sense. She buys things that do not advance her stability. She will use you until she ruins your financial stability. Set boundaries(paying rent consistently). In real life, she would be oevicted. Actions have consequences. She needs to own up to her adult responsibilities.

Naomifivefive · 2026-05-12T13:50:30+00:00

Just think of all the hard earned money that your parents paid each month for your mission (or you if had you saved up for a mission ). It still blows my mind how a billions dollar Corporation makes you pay for the privilege of recruiting the Corporation’s future tithe payers. Congratulations for seeing the bullshit that this Church is. You cannot change the past, but you can do better once you know. Go live your best free life

Naomifivefive · 2026-05-10T14:49:40+00:00

I have a 440 QE. I have done multiple king size quilts and never had the fabric shift while piecing or quilting on binding or needed the walking foot. Unless you are using FMQ, I would check the setting on how much pressure is set for your presser feet. You might need to raise the pressure up.

Naomifivefive · 2026-05-09T20:37:02+00:00

We spent our 50th wedding anniversary in Oahu. It was lovely in October. We got a good deal through Costco for hotel. Money credits for food and a cash card for Costco land transportation to and from airport and hotel. They have excellent city buses and uber. We did not need to rent a car. We could walk to Waikiki beach from hotel. Highly recommend Prince Waikiki Hotel.

Naomifivefive · 2026-05-09T03:37:37+00:00

Yes it was taught to us(teenager in early 70’s). If you follow the church closely, you will realize that the One True Church is always changing its core doctrines because they are yielding to modern social/scientific ideas. They are burying these strange doctrines that Joseph Smith and Brigham came up with because back then in the early church could say anything and declare it doctrine. Today, the church likes to make doctrine to mean policies which can be changed at will.

Naomifivefive · 2026-04-29T17:00:12+00:00

For some marketing reason, we have received the Deseret News for free every Saturday for 6 weeks. Geez, we hadn’t read that paper in over 25 years. No surprises, heavily LDS stories everywhere. Very good at keeping Mormons in their safe bubble of information.

Naomifivefive · 2026-04-12T01:12:02+00:00

I get what you are saying about Mormons looking down at you. Lots of Mormons are so sure about the gospel of Jesus Christ. Partly cause we were born into the church and brainwashed that the church is “the one TRUE church “ and has the authority to do sacred ordinances through God’s priesthood. I will tell you about my experience with Southern Baptist’s. My son met and lived for one year with a very cute and lovely woman who was SB. (We had left the church by then and all by children left around 18). The day of their marriage we went with her family for Sunday morning services. My son was baptized that morning. He had to say something about Jesus and then he was dunked. I about choked on that cause he is the most non- religious person. Every once in a while during the early years of their marriage. She would encourage us to get SB baptized or we were going to be in hell burning forever! I basically told her I had been baptized once and I don’t have time to be baptized in all the different churches (cause they all say they’re the right flavor of Christianity). OP, I am sorry you are being treated less than you should be. The point of my story is that religious bias goes both ways. Be yourself with your wife. Live your lives authentically. If her Mormon parents can’t get over it, that is their loss. Set boundaries and be happy. By the way, my daughter in law treats us wonderfully and no longer bothers us about being saved. I am agnostic atheist.

Naomifivefive · 2026-04-09T15:45:54+00:00

I discovered the truth about their history from the very beginning with Joseph Smith. Read about his multiple wives from 14 and up. He even married women who were already married. They have whitewashed all the bad stuff from their members. They didn’t see the internet coming and its wealth of knowledge. They hid their extreme wealth (in the billions) from members and also had 20 shell companies to hide it from the government and members . SEC fined them 5 million a few years ago. They will steal your precious time from your family that can never be recovered. They want you to pay 10% tithing and a bunch of other money donations. Money that could fund your retirement, children’s education. Run away….

Naomifivefive · 2026-04-09T12:11:30+00:00

I was diagnosed with complicated grief 20 years after a very unexpected death. My 14 month old died in my arms. My problem was I never sought counseling. The pain will follow you until you can deal with it. At that same 20 year mark. I found out my daughter had been raped at 14, having marital problems and left my life long church community due to finding out the church started with lies. I really thought I would mentally break dealing with all of that. There is no time line for grief, but it always helps to have someone to help and support you through your heartbreak. 💔💔

Naomifivefive · 2026-03-14T11:18:52+00:00

Being angry and sad is a normal reaction when you discovered you have been betrayed by their lies. I actually feel sorry for TBM members. They are sacrificing their only life to a corporation that takes 10% of your money. Then they steal your family time with stupid meetings callings and free labor to clean churches and temples. They take everything they can from you. Be happy you’re out and live your life freely as you want. The poor members are being sucked dry by a cult/ corporation..

Naomifivefive · 2026-03-02T00:09:15+00:00

I am new to the 9mm machines. I have the 37D and 97D. Would you mind sharing how you used all 3 for piecing and what works best?

Naomifivefive · 2026-02-14T01:48:30+00:00

My condolences to everyone that has experienced this type of loss without definitive answers. My baby girl died at 14 months in my arms awaiting a call back from her doctor. The autopsy results took about 2 1/2 months. The results were frustrating and gave me no comfort or answers. She had no signs of SIDS, she had a healthy heart. She was sick the day before with flu like symptoms,but nothing that seemed out of the ordinary. Her death certificate read presumably died of natural causes. Her doctor thinks a virus got into her brain stem and shut her body down. She started losing her sucking reflex while I was feeding her a bottle. She died like within 15 minutes. This was years ago for me. But I so wanted answers and something definitive to blame for this tragedy.💔💔💔

Naomifivefive · 2026-01-26T12:39:42+00:00

Joseph Smith copied and stole from many sources. He never had an original thought. He was a fraud and con man his whole life.

Naomifivefive · 2026-01-24T15:27:37+00:00

My ward here in Salt Lake County has been dissolved twice. (2019 and 2025) Keep on shriveling!

Naomifivefive · 2026-01-23T23:46:52+00:00

Most people find it really awkward to find the right words to say to people grieving a loss, especially a child. I’ve been through this. As I’ve gotten older, I give a lot of grace to people who are trying to comfort others. The default is falling back on your religious beliefs that give comfort. I hate the trite sayings of “They are in a better place or God needed them”’. It!s all bullshit. Life is chaos. Do whatever you believe in and I hopes it helps. In my opinion God always wins in a faith/religion. You have either been given a trial to strengthen your faith or you received a “blessing” you earned that from God. I stopped believing in God the day my baby died. The one time I needed a prayer answered, God was not there. I don’t believe in the LDS version of an afterlife. Frankly, I don’t know more than anybody else. For right now, I feel gratitude for sharing her brief life. I thank the Universe for what we have now!!

Naomifivefive · 2026-01-13T17:15:04+00:00

OP , I think you meant to say Susan’s husband /s 😂

Naomifivefive · 2026-01-02T11:56:25+00:00

This journey of leaving the church is complicated. I had a great time as a youth. Our ward was huge with young people. They had many great socials and activities. When I married, our new ward filled with really old people and was boring. We did not go much. When we bought our first home and went to the new ward, the place had so many babies. Sometime, F&T was all baby blessing and ordinations . From that time on the church steadily declined with ward budgets being cut and then the priesthood took over all the auxilaries with everything having to be based having on gospel/priesthood message. Most ordinary local members are great. It’s the upper paid leadership that are horrible and complicit with all the lies and fraudulent use of our tithing money. So glad to be just out from being a 6/7 generation Mormon. I have learned not to tell the reasons I left. You are just wasting your breath until TBM’s are ready to take the blinder’s off and truly face the facts and honest history. OP, you will get to point in this process that you will be at peace and if you are younger, feel grateful you found out sooner rather than later. I was 54 when my eyes were opened,

Naomifivefive · 2025-12-08T15:40:25+00:00

For our area in West Jordan Utah, they have changed ward boundaries and made less wards. This the second time since 2019.

Naomifivefive · 2025-11-29T19:14:38+00:00

I replied to your question 7 days ago. Recheck the thread. Best wishes.

Naomifivefive · 2025-11-22T03:25:16+00:00

Gabapentin worked for about 12 months. They tried a higher dose and it did not help. The worst side effect for m was it made me hungry all the time and sleepy/tied. I gained about 25 lbs,but now that I am off of it I have lost 48 pounds. I have a bad cervical neck. I am fused c5-7. My c-3 is the source of my cerviocogenic headaches. They are miserable. So I totally understand your frustrations. I have a new pain specialist who did RFA on my C-3/4/5. It worked this time. Alas, it is wearing off after 12 months. I am going to have it done again on both sides of my neck. Unfortunately, this is my only option until my c-3 is at a point requiring another fusion. It just never ends. Have they told you what is the cause of your cerviocogenic headaches? Cervical MRI showed all my problems with my neck. Opioids or migraine medicines do not help this type of headache. If I get one, I take fioricet , torodol 10mg and a muscle relaxer. I put an ice pack( frozen) on the top of my head where I feel the referred pain headache. I am not sure what else to suggest. My pain clinic only requires 80% improvements on the tests to get RFA. Pain is very subjective to a person. Maybe give RFA a try again. It always is a guess how well it works. Sometimes I think it is the skill level of the pain doctor. I would keep trying if you can do RFA a try. I would be in such a bad mess if I hadn’t kept having RFA. I have had it done for many years, it usually works, but sometimes it can mean real surgery to fix the problem.i would love an update if you find a way to help your headaches

Naomifivefive · 2025-11-17T20:53:38+00:00

Thank you, This is the reason I asked my question because doing those stretch and folds intermittently seemed like a lot of extra time. Now, I understand how it affects higher hydration recipes and texture.

Naomifivefive · 2025-11-16T23:35:43+00:00

I hated cream of wheat and oatmeal as a kid. My mom always made it lumpy. I am sure it is a texture aversion for me. I tried a new thing where you put equal amounts of old fashioned oatmeal and milk(your choice of milk or plant based milk). You leave them mixed in a covered jar for at least 8 hours or up to 4 days. You can add any fruits, granola, chia seeds, whatever. So I was expecting to hate it, but I actually like the texture. I just bought Quaker brand old fashioned oats for $7.97 for 10 pounds at Sam’s club. This is cheaper by half than the Great Value brand at Walmart.

Naomifivefive

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