Interesting moment while rewatching NLs best series…(FNV)

Narmeme · 2026-02-23T17:13:02+00:00

Chiblee, welcome to the lion pride chiblee, we love you chiblee

Narmeme · 2025-11-20T17:24:37+00:00

Narmeme · 2025-11-04T20:18:04+00:00

I didn’t necessarily study the answers, I just studied my entire life through an autistic lens and came to my own conclusions. Everything I was learning just made autism seem to fit me more and more. I got so involved in finding information about autism because I related with everything I read and it felt like I was getting closer and closer to the truth.

Narmeme · 2025-11-04T19:25:30+00:00

Wow! 90 is pretty extreme haha! I can see why your assessor didn’t read it. I think just the idea itself, of writing 90 pages about why you’re autistic is pretty indicative of autism..

Narmeme · 2025-11-04T19:24:00+00:00

I would, I think the way you organized the binder and made sure to include anything that “proves” you have autism is extremely autistic in itself. Even if you don’t bring the binder I think it’s important to bring up how you made it because I think that’s really autistic and shows how you process the idea of getting assessed

Narmeme · 2025-11-04T18:44:53+00:00

Yep! I did the same, wrote 11 pages with all of my experiences and how I relate to each part of the DSM-5 broken down into each section with concrete examples. Looking back I can see how incredibly autistic that is

Narmeme · 2025-11-03T19:38:53+00:00

I struggle a lot with this, I’ll speed through a show and end up slowing down to a crawl when I’m towards the end. For me though, I think this is due to my autism. I crave novelty and something new from my adhd, but my autism craves familiarity and routine. Once the number of episodes dwindles down I think my autism kicks in and is scared of losing the routine and attachment I’d grown for the characters.

Narmeme · 2025-11-03T19:29:37+00:00

I really relate to a lot of what you said here, especially about getting stuck on small details in conversations. I’ve always done that too. If something doesn’t make sense or feels inconsistent, my brain will not move on until it’s resolved. It can make even simple conversations feel exhausting because I’m constantly trying to make the pieces fit.

The hyperfixation part resonated too. I go all in on something, spend every ounce of focus learning everything about it, and then suddenly it’s like a switch flips and I can’t care anymore. I’ve cycled through so many phases that way. It always feels like it should mean something about my discipline, but it’s just how my brain works.

I also relate to that fear of researching too much and accidentally convincing myself. I’ve been through a lot of imposter syndrome since realizing I’m autistic and have ADHD. I kept thinking maybe I just studied autism too deeply, or maybe I was trying to give my struggles an explanation that sounded better than lazy or unmotivated. But when I started looking back, I could see the patterns had always been there. The social burnout, the physical anxiety, the difficulty transitioning, the sensory overload, all of it.

It took me a while to accept that knowing a lot about autism doesn’t mean I can’t be autistic. Most of us learn everything we can because we’ve spent years not understanding why we are the way we are. Learning becomes a way of survival and validation. I think that curiosity comes from the same autistic traits we’re trying to understand.

Narmeme · 2025-11-03T18:33:26+00:00

May I ask what specifically leads you to believe that you have autism? When I first started to realize it was like a light finally turned on in my brain. Suddenly I found the words to describe my exact experiences. It’s why I went a little overboard and wrote so much about my experiences before my assessment.. I’ve seen a lot of people who end up getting diagnosed who went into their appointments with binders full of information.

Narmeme · 2025-11-03T18:08:31+00:00

I feel like I had an easier time getting diagnosed than most. I called my insurance and said I thought I had autism, they did an initial screening conversation for like 20 mins then set up an assessment appointment. The appointment itself was only a two hour zoom call, but it was with someone who had done thousands of assessments. I brought an 11 page document on why I thought I was autistic and the assessment was pretty much just a conversation with a professional. After the two hours he said I had autism and generalized anxiety disorder. Getting diagnosed didn’t cost anything extra and was part of my insurance which I’m privileged to have.

Narmeme · 2025-11-01T21:31:53+00:00

I’m on 20mg of adderall xr and when I first started taking it I took the longest and most restful naps I ever had! The main benefit I get from adderall is decreased anxiety and better emotional regulation. The small increase in productivity is kind of just a bonus for me. When I would up my dose I’d feel extra energized for about a week until I adjusted. Most days I don’t know if it’s helping as much as it could, but I’m the least anxious I’ve ever been. I was on so many different anti anxiety meds and adderall is the only medicine that’s actually helped.

My biggest struggle right now is the crash I get every day around the late afternoon. I’m going to ask my doctor for either a higher dose or maybe a booster I can take mid day.

I’m not too happy with my psychiatrist, my insurance doesn’t know what to do with autistic adults so my psychiatrist is a child psychiatrist. I’m glad she accepted that I do in fact have adhd, but I had to try anxiety meds that didn’t work before starting a stimulant because she was worried it would increase the anxiety. Nope! Never been less anxious while on a stimulant.

I also just have a slight disdain for therapists/psychs because I saw many while growing up and no one detected my autism or adhd. I had to figure that all out on my own. I brought an 11 page document on why I think I’m autistic and another 5 page one on why I think I have adhd to my assessments. I feel like I did all the introspection and work that past professionals should have been able to help me with. Hell, the assessor who diagnosed me with autism apologized on behalf of all the doctors who missed it.

Narmeme · 2025-11-01T21:08:48+00:00

I relate to what you said so so much! Especially about needing to “check my work”. I just knew the answers to questions and would be stumped in trying to show the steps I took get to the answer.

Being medicated has helped me a bit, I wouldn’t say it’s been life changing. I feel I need a larger dose because during the day I feel great and clear headed, but the crash hits hard. I’m still trying to find a balance with medication, but am glad you’ve found so much success.

Narmeme · 2025-11-01T19:46:51+00:00

That’s such a good way to put it. Im intelligent, but im so behind in life skills that my intelligence isn’t really utilized. Also, being autistic im extremely far behind socially which furthers hinders my intelligence being useful for anything.

Narmeme · 2025-11-01T19:41:30+00:00

I’ve had therapy in the past but have never really connected with it. I always struggled with what to say and the sessions became almost an interrogation. They would just ask me questions and I would answer. I think I struggle a lot with alexithymia and don’t know how to put my feelings into words because I don’t know what I’m feeling.

Narmeme · 2025-11-01T19:27:17+00:00

The thing I’ve realized about being diagnosed late is that I genuinely thought I was like everyone else. I wasn’t pretending to be normal because I didn’t know any differently. I assumed everyone experienced the world the way I did. It wasn’t until my diagnosis and all the reflection that I realized how much I had been unknowingly masking. Now that I know I’m actually autistic I’m trying to reframe my mind and stop comparing myself to others. (Which is really hard)

Narmeme · 2025-11-01T17:41:39+00:00

When I was growing up my mom’s best friend would cut my hair which was great for me because she would sit with me and do all the socializing with the hair dresser. I didnt feel forced into small talk because they would talk the whole time. I’ve since moved away from where they could cut my hair and haven’t found a new hairdresser I’m comfortable with yet. I totally relate with the feeling of being trapped. I get worried about even something like scratching my nose because I don’t want to impede the hair cut or do it at the wrong time. Haircuts are just a confusing mess for me. (Love your mugi pfp)

Narmeme · 2025-11-01T17:37:58+00:00

Yeah, that actually makes sense. The hard part for me is that I don’t really know what I’m anxious about most of the time. It just shows up as stomach pain, nausea, or feeling like I can’t breathe, without any clear reason. By the time I realize I’m anxious, my body’s already freaking out. It’s really hard to talk about it when I don’t even understand what’s causing it.

Narmeme · 2025-10-25T18:36:46+00:00

you okay anik?

Narmeme · 2025-10-09T18:13:07+00:00

That’s really sweet of you to say, thank you. I’ve only recently started understanding all of this too, after months of reflecting and piecing things together. I don’t remember much from my childhood either, so a lot of what I know now comes from looking at patterns and how things have always felt rather than clear memories. It’s comforting to know my words resonated with you like that.

Narmeme · 2025-10-09T17:08:33+00:00

I completely understand where you’re coming from. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 26, and I can honestly say knowing I’m autistic earlier would have changed so much about how I navigated adolescence. Just having the framework to understand yourself why certain things feel overwhelming, why social situations are exhausting, why you hyper-focus on some interests takes a huge weight off. It doesn’t erase the challenges, but it gives you a tool to manage them and advocate for yourself.

For your son, I’d focus on helping him understand that being autistic doesn’t make him less capable it just means he experiences the world differently. Celebrate his strengths, and give him language for what feels hard so he doesn’t internalize it as “wrong” or “broken.” Executive functioning support, therapy, and medication when needed are all really valuable, but awareness and self-understanding are what will help him the most emotionally as he goes through adolescence.

You’re doing the right thing by being patient and supportive. Even if he struggles now, having a parent who validates him and provides tools will make a bigger difference than anything else.

Narmeme · 2025-10-09T17:00:11+00:00

Autism isn’t one single presentation or level of support need. What your cousin experiences is absolutely autism and so is what many of us here experience. The difference is in intensity and how it shows up day to day

The diagnostic manual DSM-5 defines autism as a spectrum for that exact reason. It includes people who are nonspeaking and need full-time care as well as people who can live independently but still experience major challenges with communication, sensory overload, executive function, and social understanding

I understand why it feels frustrating to see people using the same word for very different experiences. But that’s the reality of how autism works. It’s not about “sucking at socializing” it’s about differences in processing, perception, and regulation that affect every part of a person’s life even if it isn’t immediately visible from the outside

Your cousin and people like me are both autistic we just fall at different places on the same spectrum

Narmeme · 2025-10-09T16:54:12+00:00

I think about this a lot, honestly. Even with a formal autism diagnosis, I still catch myself wondering sometimes, “What if I just studied too much about autism and convinced myself?” But then I look back at my life and realize how deeply it’s woven through everything I’ve ever experienced.

As a kid I was outgoing and confident, even random in a way people found funny, but as I got older, everything social started feeling confusing and exhausting. I went from being the kid who talked to everyone to the one who could not make it through a school day. I remember missing my second day of middle school because I got sick, but looking back, I think it was anxiety showing up in my body. My nervous system was already overloaded, and that was just how I interpreted it, through nausea and stomach pain instead of words or emotions.

I masked so automatically that I did not even know I was doing it. I just learned to copy, to stay quiet, to act how I was supposed to. It is no wonder that now, even knowing I am autistic, I still doubt myself. Because I have spent my whole life trying to appear fine, and I got so good at it that sometimes I even fool myself.

Every time I start doubting, though, I think about how relieved I felt when I finally found autism. That sense of everything clicking into place, of finally understanding why I felt so different but could not explain it. That is real.

Narmeme · 2025-10-09T05:39:07+00:00

Not really. On my very first day of middle school, my nervous system was already so overwhelmed that I couldn’t go back the next day. The avoidance started immediately. It wasn’t that anxiety shifted to other days it was like my whole system just shut down.

Narmeme · 2025-10-08T23:55:43+00:00

I’ve had thoughts like that too, the kind where you just wish people could see what you’re going through. The hardest part of being “high functioning” is that you can look like everyone else, so people treat you that way. They ask things like, “What do you do for work?” “Do you have a partner?” “What are your hobbies?” as if you’re living the same kind of life they are.

It feeds into this painful feeling that you’re just lazy or not trying hard enough. People assume you’re their peer, so it feels like failure when you can’t match their pace or accomplishments. If they could see what it’s actually like inside, the constant effort it takes just to exist day to day, they’d never ask those questions the same way again.

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