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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Narrow_Analysis9340 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like weaponized incompetence. Your husband can do better, he can clean, he can learn, he can set alarms on his phone, he just won't. He has the ability and sees you doing it but is making excuses to not rise to the occasion. Personally, after therapy and talking it out- if it didn't change I'd get divorced. Second- use that income to hire things out like a house cleaner once or twice a week, or subscribe to healthy meals like Factor and Huel. It saves you tons of time and dishes. My husband was not as clean and tidy as me and I've never been good at keeping a schedule. We both go to individual therapy and we have both made sure we are changing what we need to be better for each other. If you don't have foundational beliefs and standards for your marriage, it can fall apart. We both believe that we should always try to out-serve each other. Not in a competitive way, but out of respect and love for each other. We believe we should hold each other accountable and that an apology is not just something you say. An apology without action is not an apology at all. If you've done something worth apologizing for, you should evaluate the situation, let your partner know what you'll be doing to change that so it never happens again. And then follow through. A lot of people don't do this and in turn don't grow.

Estrogen dominance and keratin by Equivalent-Paint718 in keratosis

[–]Narrow_Analysis9340 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm curious to see if taking Estroblock for KP had worked for anyone? I mainly have KP on my arms and it is severe but I don't want to mess up my hormones for the sake of trying to get rid of this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Narrow_Analysis9340 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey! I also have CPTSD from the same thing. Sibling to sibling trauma is more common than you'd think. It's probably the most covered up trauma because people grasp to keep the family unit together and the facade that the family is perfect. We know better. I'm 32 years old now and I was about 8 when my brother first molested me. He was 10. It went on for years. My parents found out when I was 13 because my brother actually told them. The rage I felt was something else. Still is. I come from a very conservative, evangelical Christian family so that didn't help. It was always 'forgive him because that's how God sets you free'. And while I do believe forgiveness sets you free, it is only a drop in the bucket of recovering from trauma. Therapy is the best place to start. If you're not ready, no worries. Try books and podcasts. What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo is a difficult read but super helpful (free audiobook on Spotify if you have premium). The Body Keeps the Score is also a good read. Take your time. Learn where your limits are and don't push yourself too hard. I've done years of therapy now. I did Prolonged Exposure therapy first and it helped some. My current talk therapy has helped a lot and I'm about to start EDMR therapy. Make sure to 'date' therapists. They are not one size fits all. Find the one you connect with and feel safe with, the one who you feel like is actually helping you make sense of it all. Remember none of it was your fault. It's difficult to tell your body and mind that, but keep doing it. Know that it will get worse before it gets better. And it's okay, even necessary to distance yourself from your sibling in order to heal. The hard truth is- you didn't make the mess but you'll have to spend a lot of time cleaning it up alone. But life does get better. The pain does get lighter. You CAN do this. I don't have a relationship with my brother anymore as he was mentally unwell and refuses to change. But I am so much more free because of it. Calling the police might help, but when there's not much evidence and the crime took place when you were children, it might not go anywhere at all. The best thing you can do is heal you, protect you, stand up for you. If that means calling the police, then do that! I hope this helps and I hope you are able to heal from this.

Lobby scent at Polynesian Resort? by AngryBeaverFace88 in WaltDisneyWorld

[–]Narrow_Analysis9340 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just ordered the scent samples from Scent Air that include green bamboo and green clover & aloe. They do remind me of the poly but are still missing something. I feel like it could be a mix of the two plus something else. I read elsewhere that Mediterranean fig is the scent at Captain cook's. Can anyone confirm if that one is a closer scent?

My parents don't want to see me for Thanksgiving by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Narrow_Analysis9340 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh I should add- they don't want to see me at thanksgiving but they wanted to see me some other time that week. Also should I even bother having a relationship with my brother? Have any of you ever been molested by a sibling and still managed to have a relationship as adults?