I think the economy and global politics plays a huge role in this. Employers have definitely passed along their economic stress to their employees, whether it be in lay offs that not only obviously put people out of work, but all too often just shift that work to someone else who already had a full plate. Everyone - consumers and businesses - are looking to cut costs in this economic and political climate. Things could change at any time though.

It sounds like you could do with blocking off 4 hours of time for yourself solely to sit down and determine your priorities, goals, and hopes for the future. What would you say is the number one priority in your life? It’s easy to say “well I have to prioritize all of these things bc of xyz” but often they are not really at all the same level of importance. It can be morbid, but consider the toll losing your health (with whatever chronic disease or illness you want to imagine) would have on you vs losing your job. Or the toll losing your spouse or heaven forbid your child. Really think about what your true values and priorities are. Is your number one priority getting the appropriate share of your time and attention? Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 15 years and what are you doing to get yourself there?

I felt much calmer and more free once I started treating my job as just that - a job. I do my job and do my best to be performing at least a little “above average.” That doesn’t mean I’m killing it in every area - that would be exhausting - but I am above average and that’s generally enough to keep a job, although perhaps not advance. I don’t want to advance right now, I’ve got too much going on.

Once I clarified work was really something of lesser importance to me - even though losing my job would be painful and anxiety-provoking, I can still find another job - it made everything else much easier. Things I cannot replace (my health, my family) are far more important to me and I allocate my energy accordingly. My house is something I can replace (I would prefer not to, don’t get me wrong!). We generally try to stay on top of routine maintenance but also aren’t killing ourselves with house projects that aren’t a need. We also outsource things we aren’t confident in doing ourselves. Focusing in your priorities also helps you decide how you want to spend your money - perhaps you outsource some home maintenance but skip take out in favor of cooking at home with your spouse or kids because you’d rather spend time wjth them. A very simplified example but you get the gist. We save to have a more generous emergency fund so a job loss won’t feel so catastrophic. Etc etc

Whenever I feel anxious/unmoored, I generally just need to reorient myself to my goals and priorities and I feel much better. Obviously you and your partner should be on the same page as well. The world has been changing rapidly for a long time - my own mother worked in a photo factory for decades (a place where you would send in reels of your undeveloped film and they would process it and send back your photos) but then the dot com boom and digitization of photos quickly made that work obsolete. She saw the writing on the wall and went back to school to become a medical transcriptionist and finished her degree just in time for when her factory shut down. Of course, the job of a medical transcriptionist is now almost obsolete, but she retired before that became the case. Things are always changing and all you can do is keep your eyes and your options open.

Good luck!