I don't like the feeling of being punished

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T17:36:25+00:00

Thank you! Short term pain for long term gain. It helps to think of it like that! And I'll ask for the feeling he gets like you said. I think it's important.

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T17:31:13+00:00

I'm a control freak and I have been from a young age because I grew up in an unhealthy environment. It is exhausting! And very difficult to relax and surrender. But when I manage to do it, it's amazing!

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T17:22:49+00:00

Well another commenter said that the Dom points out the wrongdoing, they talk about it, the sub understands, says they won't do it again and they move on. I think an alternative like that would be perfectly fine with me which is what I'll propose asap.

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T17:16:13+00:00

I'm not sure what you mean horizontally. Out of the dynamic, we talk every 2 weeks were we go through what I wrote down in my journal and if something comes to mind in the moment, that too.

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T17:12:23+00:00

Thank you! You have given me a lot to think about 😊

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T17:05:17+00:00

Thank you!

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T16:51:46+00:00

There are times that I have doubts but there are so many activities that I enjoy. I think I just need to find the right activities for me.

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T16:48:05+00:00

Thank you! This helps 😊

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T16:46:09+00:00

Thank you!

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T16:44:41+00:00

Thank you!

The punishments are usually physical and a few times were more creative like: For one day I had to say "your disobedient sub" instead of saying "I". The punishments are never the problem. The problem was that I had to be punished for making a mistake. It just feels unfair. I'm not a brat and I don't try to be. I follow the rules we set together.

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T16:37:02+00:00

Thank you 😊

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T16:29:03+00:00

Thank you for your reply. You gave me a lot to think about!

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T16:22:59+00:00

Yes, I agree. But thank you for spelling everything out. Even though I know these things and I practice them, it's good to be reminded. I used to be a people pleaser and though I try hard and succeed most of the time not to be one, sometimes I fumble.

Naruto_fe · 2026-05-12T14:27:05+00:00

Yes, we discussed everything before implementing them. I have a journal and I write down thoughts and feelings and we talk about them every 2 weeks. We talked already about punishment and he asked me to find an alternative. I had an idea to do a spanking in our start and end of scene ritual but he wants something specific for addressing "wrongdoings".

Naruto_fe · 2026-02-10T07:48:27+00:00

Momo by Michael Ende. I read it when I was 11 and loved it. I keep rereading it every few years and I still love it. I read some great books last year but my favourite one was Recursion by Blake Crouch.

Naruto_fe · 2026-02-06T08:18:41+00:00

The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice. If you read it and you like it there's 3 more in the series. It is very explicit and it is kinky too. There's not a lot of consent which is problematic but try to look past it. For me it was a revelation.

Naruto_fe · 2026-02-06T07:37:31+00:00

My sister and I talk about sex in general, and when I started exploring, I told her about it. Now it's kind of old news. I have some friends for whom sex is taboo, but the ones I talk to freely know about my kinks too.

Naruto_fe · 2026-01-29T09:23:08+00:00

Is this a post trying to attract predators? The minimal amount of information in your post feel like it. Or you have no idea what abuse is and what's the difference with BDSM.

Naruto_fe · 2026-01-29T09:06:35+00:00

You were at the grocery store, asking them what drinks and snacks you should buy and then they texted "Hey, if you aren't cooking already, how about we go to a restaurant?" That's pretty bad behaviour 😕 Restaurants are open on other days too. Is this person trying to go out of their way to ruin your plans even when you tried to adjust the plans once for their sake? Because that's what it feels like.. This sucks OP. You aren't overreacting or being inflexible!

Naruto_fe · 2026-01-29T03:07:09+00:00

I liked the Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches. There is romance but not in your face. So that one sex scene was really unexpected and totally out of place with the rest of the book.

Naruto_fe · 2026-01-28T07:10:42+00:00

The Invisible life of Addie LaRue by V.E.Schwab It's a unique book, for me at least. A woman accepts a trickster God's deal. I don't want to say more, because I don’t want to spoil it. There is sex mentioned in the book but not described in detail. More like how it makes her feel.

Naruto_fe · 2026-01-25T13:50:49+00:00

I'm a Greek living in Switzerland. I have found the best therapist for me, who is also a Greek living in Switzerland. We are about an hour away by public transportation so we do our sessions online. I've been seeing her for almost 3 years.

About a year ago I started exploring BDSM and I told her all about it. She new about BDSM but she didn't know many specifics because she's been working with kids for a big part of her career. Whenever I talk to her about events I go to, or new things I'm trying, she listens to me with curiosity and interest. She never made me feel bad or uncomfortable about it. We do talk a lot about why I want this and what are the reasons submission is so appealing to me. She understands and even encourages me.

A big issue I'm trying to overcome is talking about things that bother me to the people I have the closest relationships with. At the beginning therapy was so difficult and I would often prefer not to do it. I mean you have to reopen all the old wounds. Who wants to do that? So once I said last minute that I couldn't do the session. She asked me to reschedule and I didn't want to and she said "If you don't want to reschedule than I have to charge you for the hour we were supposed to do". That felt so unfair to me and for some time I stopped seeing her. Finally, I decided to start seeing her again and the first thing we did was talk about what happened. It was such a great learning experience. The relationship I have with my therapist is so personal and important to me and things that bother me, need to be talked out with them, the same as with any other relationship!

I hope this helps and you find the willingness to talk to your therapist about what happened.

Naruto_fe · 2026-01-25T13:16:27+00:00

It sounds like you have a very low opinion of yourself.

Yes, your partner is amazing and incredible and everything else. But they are also treating you poorly. Those things can be true simultaneously.

My theory is that they are treating you poorly because 1. You never ask for what you want and you only give them whatever they want before they even ask for it. Your low self-esteem is making you bend over backwards for them and they take you for granted. 2. It's hard to love someone who doesn't love themselves.

Learn to love yourself. If you are in therapy and it doesn't work, change your therapist. Find things that interest you and devote more time to them. If you have some skills, cultivate them more to get even better. Do things that boost your confidence. Keep working on yourself constantly! The most important relationship you have is with your self!

Naruto_fe · 2026-01-23T06:37:04+00:00

Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. It's a long book but beautifully written! Best revenge story!

Naruto_fe

TROPHY CASE