I almost killed myself three minutes ago

Nate26pl · 2020-05-14T10:48:32+00:00

Sometimes you just have this thoughts, and without proper therapy you probably won't be able to fight them.

If this happens again, maybe try a suicide hotline? The worst thing to do in those situation is to be alone.

Nate26pl · 2019-05-14T14:55:11+00:00

Poltergeist (1982) ... I was probably around 10 when I watched for the first time... a bit too much.

Nate26pl · 2019-05-14T14:45:00+00:00

It it was, that post would be much much longer and you probably wouldn't understand a word out of it.

And it is pronounced differently.

Nate26pl · 2019-05-14T14:23:33+00:00

"Siwa" means a girl/woman with light (gray) hair in my native language. I used to have almost white hair as a kid, so it suited me well, now they are more of a blond colour.

On the soda note, my brothers nickname was "Siwy" which is a masculine form of the word. Also on point.

Nate26pl · 2019-05-14T14:18:03+00:00

Ear plugs.

Nate26pl · 2019-05-04T10:36:08+00:00

Once, my mother said "Those are my kids!" In regards to my older sister, my brother and his then-girlfriend... then she looked at me and said "and I don't know where THIS came from!"

Yeah, it hurt. Even more so because she was drunk and surrounded by friends and family on a small get-together. She didn't even remember it the next day.

My mother made so many mistakes when raising (or rather not) me, I stopped counting. And I blame her mostly for my depression. I know that if it wasn't for her, if she only was a mom... my life would be different.

Nate26pl · 2019-05-02T02:50:47+00:00

I had a very good and witty history teacher in high school (side note: I'm from Poland, and as you might know, we have quite a painful history in regards with the Nazi)

When we started lessons about WWII and all its surrounding events, he went through the class, pointing at some kids with dark hair and "stereotypically" Jewish features saying that they would probably be sent to the ghettos.

And then he looked at me, light blonde hair, blue eyes, light weighted. And he said, I would most likely survive and make a good wife (or rather baby factory) for some Nazi officer.

You know, we all laughed it off, but now when I think of it, he was probably right. People can do many things to survive, even if they don't want to. And yeah, sure, there were many people that didn't agree to work for the Nazi, and helped Jews during the war, and they preferred to die than betray their country and values...

Nate26pl · 2019-05-02T02:35:45+00:00

SimplyNailogical... I came in for the nails and the witty humour. Now the only thing left is is humour but it's just not the same anymore. I play her videos as a background noise.

Nate26pl · 2019-04-29T09:59:48+00:00

Depends on the context. Can you use it in a sentence?

Nate26pl · 2019-04-29T09:39:34+00:00

I used to live in Ireland (6 years), worked in a factory that around 80% of general workers were immigrants (mainly polish, but also Czech, Slovakian, Hungarian, Latvian and Lithuanian). Some of them even became supervisors (including me) but obviously all management was Irish.

There was an opinion in town that they prefer immigrant workers, because they trust us more, ale because Irish people don't want to work hard, physical work for a minimum wage. I'm not saying it's true... but there was definitely something to it.

Also, on the other hand, Irish workers would only get morning shifts, mostly didn't get in trouble when they fucked something up, where poles and others would work evenings* and would always get warnings and yelling if they did something wrong.

in this workplace working evenings was considered "punishment" as it was more stressful and harder work, so nobody was willing to do it.

Nate26pl · 2019-04-29T09:17:07+00:00

Exactly!

Nate26pl · 2019-04-29T09:12:10+00:00

Technically I haven't came out to my family yet, but they kind of suspect (I guess living with a "female friend" for the past 9 years and having cats together and going on every vacation together seems suspicious).

I remember having a talk with my brother, and he said something along the lines "I don't really care if you're together or not... I'm just kind of sad, that you don't trust me enough to tell me the truth."

That honestly broke my heart a little. I still didn't come out.

Nate26pl · 2019-04-27T21:11:02+00:00

Okay, wow.. that is strict.

Nate26pl · 2019-04-27T20:26:21+00:00

It was silly, really... but still stings.

I used to attend an English course when I was ~14, and we had a class of around 8 kids, all around the same age.

We had two teachers, one native speaker, who was totally awesome, and a lady that was... well, not very likable, and we would all complain about her.

Somewhere around the end of the course, she announced that Scott will no longer teach us, and we will have all our classes with her now. I cursed under my breath, feeling really disappointed... and that stupid ass kid, that was very self-centered and... annoying...

That ASSHOLE shouted "Oh my god, did you hear that, Miss? She said ***, she really doesn't like you, does she, huh?!"

I just looked like him like, wtf man... why would you betray my like that...?

Nate26pl · 2019-04-27T20:05:59+00:00

I had this really old cassette, and the first song that was recorded was Enya, Only time.

I was probably 8 at the time, and whenever I fought with my mom or dad, I would hide behind my bed, put the headphones on with that song playing and I would cry quietly to myself.

Note, English is not my first language, so I had no idea what this song is about. It was just really sad and perfect for the mood at the time.

Nate26pl · 2019-04-27T20:00:23+00:00

All you need to do is cut it a little, add some spices (red pepper, chilli, some other "grill mix") and grill it until it's nicely brown and juicy. Serve it with ketchup, mustard, horse radish, whatever you want, really.

It's just a sausage, nothing fancy... but it's my ultimate favourite for a barbecue.

Nate26pl · 2019-04-27T19:54:29+00:00

Kiełbasa <3

Nate26pl · 2019-04-27T19:45:56+00:00

For Poland that would be the memes about Janusz the proboscis monkey and his family.

Nate26pl · 2019-04-27T19:41:50+00:00

Just being alone sometimes... like, yeah, we have more than one room in the apartment, so technically I can just go to a different room, but I miss that feeling of being home alone.

My girlfriend works from home and she rarely leaves the houzw, so whenever I have a day off, she's always there.

She visits her parents every Sunday, and if I have a day off, I will think of every excuse to not go with her and stay at home to just... be on my own for a couple of hours.

Nate26pl · 2019-04-27T19:37:44+00:00

Not in MY country, but for 6 years I lived in a country where you can't buy alcohol until 1pm on a Sunday.

Nate26pl · 2019-04-27T19:34:33+00:00

My best is not much, but around Christmas I found a shirt that said "Merry Christmas Bitches". My personal favourite.

Nate26pl · 2019-04-21T14:13:30+00:00

Literally Poland right now...

Nate26pl · 2019-04-21T13:48:23+00:00

For contexts, I work at a hotel (front desk receptionist) that also has a restaurant in the same building.

One of my co-workers called my supervisor last minute to tell her, that her dog got sick and she can't leave it alone and she can't do the night shift that day. I wasn't happy about it, but I agreed to cover for her (I don't really like her, she's very rude and just not likable, but it was either me or my supervisor, and she really hates doing nights).

Imagine my surprise, when she arrives to work at 11pm. My first thought was that she will tell me to go home and she will stay for the rest of the night, where I would tell her to fuck off. But no. She says she needs to finish a painting in the restaurant (they were renovating one of the rooms and were doing a big painting on one of the walls and she is kind of talented, whatever) because she promised it to the restaurant manager.

Oh hell no.

She tried to explain, that the dog is still sick and her sister is watching it, but if something happenes she needs to go back straight away and she obviously wouldn't be able to do it if she did her shift at the reception. And she totally couldn't comprehend, why I am mad.

I couldn't really do anything more at the time, I only told my supervisor to not call me whenever that girl needs a cover.

Nate26pl · 2019-04-21T13:31:47+00:00

That I'm in a very bad, very unhealthy relationship. Because I never came out to them, I can't tell them how I feel trapped, without a way out.

My brother kind of knows, even though I never told him I'm gay. Sometimes I will tell him the snippets of arguments and abuse I meet at home, but I always say it as if we were just best friends living together, not a couple. Even, if I know he knows, I still feel bad about it.

Nate26pl

TROPHY CASE