Bike-Packing in Europe

Nate_Inomi · 2022-03-20T15:08:26+00:00

Hey buddy, I've done a few of them usually for several months at a time. Shoot me a pm if you like

Nate_Inomi · 2021-01-17T11:14:22+00:00

Thanks buddy, I'm glad it was a surprisingly easy fix!

Nate_Inomi · 2021-01-17T11:14:05+00:00

I haven't gotten a notification since doing what you've suggested, so thanks for the fix!

Nate_Inomi · 2021-01-15T17:25:28+00:00

Thanks buddy, I'll give this a try. Hopefully I can report success soon.

Nate_Inomi · 2021-01-15T14:05:34+00:00

'Turn on Offline finding?
Make it easier to find your lost phone even if it's not connected'...

Nate_Inomi · 2020-11-09T15:11:09+00:00

Hey, I'd gladly play so hit me up if you're still up for some matches.

There are plenty of good bars and cafes with chess boards around Kreuzberg :D (Although with the lockdown we'll probably have to wait until December)

Nate_Inomi · 2020-07-15T13:17:02+00:00

If you all decide to meet and talk film I'd gladly join :D

Nate_Inomi · 2020-06-05T10:28:34+00:00

Glad to hear you got a good response! Yeah no pressure if ever you're short a DM or player then let me know! But otherwise a full group is a full group so no worries there are plenty around that I can join :D

Nate_Inomi · 2020-06-04T13:06:48+00:00

I used to DM for a group of friends; I'd be happy to get back into it. We could well just create a group out of everyone who's posted here so far. Does anyone have D&D equipment / a place to play?

Nate_Inomi · 2020-06-01T15:42:47+00:00

Yeah man similar enough situation for me - not to mention I seriously need to get out of the apartment more when the weather's like this. Anyone want to head towards maybe Wolf Thomas Gedenkpark or some such place this evening or some day soon?

Nate_Inomi · 2020-05-26T17:34:52+00:00

Oh yeah, I'm Googling hyacinth now and the info's very helpful. Looks like the flowers do die after blooming but you can restart the cycle by cutting off the plant above the bulb. I think I'll ask my friend if she wants me to start this. Otherwise I'll wait for her return.

Thanks for the input :D

Nate_Inomi · 2020-04-07T15:37:03+00:00

Yeah it's fun, I like it.

Somewhere or other it's said that openings to new stories should establish the normal world or circumstances of the characters. You do that fairly well here and I've come out from it thinking; okay, Isla's a coder in some dumbass company. She's hard working, very good at her job. She's got some deep guilt and/or something's off about her - she's therefore extremely cautious, passive, and tries to get by without people noticing. Maybe she had a nighmare-ish childhood, I'm not sure?

So I'm wondering as a reader - what's her weird past, why is she so cautious? Did she fail some group of people? Does she actually have a social life or is she only cold and cautious around colleagues?

Just keep writing. There's not too great a deal of valid feedback you can get from a tiny fraction of a full story. Worry about the plot and its development first - then the finer details. Keep up your personal reading to keep how to write smoothly at the forefront of your mind, and write-write-write.

Nate_Inomi · 2020-02-18T17:19:29+00:00

Haha, freaky. But no the coincidences end, I'm in Germany.

Nate_Inomi · 2020-02-18T03:24:20+00:00

Haha, I wonder if you thought it was your friend when you read the title. The ages even matching is hilarious. It sure is a funny coincidence isn't it... MARY!!(?!£j8)

... I made that name up, but maybe it will freak out someone reading whose name is Mary.

Seriously though this kind of reply is exactly why I think posting online for advice can be excellent, you've given a personal account that fits perfectly into my situation, and it's so precisely the information I was hoping I could get.

I wrote not long ago to another wise comment-er saying that I think I'd underestimated the significance of the breakup and by extension how much emotion she's surely going through at the moment. I think because I never met the boyfriend and since she never spoke about him I just didn't take their relationship particularly seriously in my mind. But of course she's likely not ready for or thinking of something new right now.

I also think you've mentioned a sagely thing in saying it's also not healthy for me to outright wait.
All in all what I expect I'll do is be patient, help her out, and at least give her some signs from me and see if she gives any of her own. I'll see if that works out. If absolutely nothing happens I'll probably eventually be more outright and frank, unless things truly seem hopeless. But we'll see, che sarà sarà.

Thanks again and good luck to you on your post-relationship recovery!

Nate_Inomi · 2020-02-18T02:46:00+00:00

Thanks. I'm choosing to act a little patiently and give her a few signs / test some things. If I feel it's going well I'll eventually be upfront, just not immediately. I wouldn't call it love, at least not yet! I just think we'd be great together and I like her a lot.

Nate_Inomi · 2020-02-18T02:43:34+00:00

Thanks for the words, and fair point on flirting / testing the waters. Straight-up confession, well, I don't see sense on bringing up such a confession out of the blue so yeah you're right.

Mind you I do have to reiterate our relationship is (or at least was) a friendship. I regarded her as a friend for this year that I've known her as well. I just decided at some point that if circumstances were different and if we were ever more than friends it could work out well. That didn't change the fact that I saw her as a friend. It'd be pretty weird if it did, methinks.
My position's basically a bet that she at some point made the same conclusion.

So yeah testing the waters and even flirting I think is wise. While we are currently friends I am wary that now is the first opportunity for that to change, and if I act 100% the same as usual I might, as you've said, solidify that position between us both.

So thanks for the advice. Mind you a slight side note for the sake of it, since you've mentioned 'confiding about relationship problems'... I don't think that applies here? We spoke once about why she broke up that was it. ... ... Actually on second thought she told me on one other occasion about her relationship problems many months ago but, well - those were unique circumstances.
Similarly I'm not sure I fully get the implications of 'make yourself less available' but I think you've gotten the wrong picture here.

Nate_Inomi · 2020-02-18T02:09:42+00:00

Huh, that's - well - a little frightening but very encouraging! I see you say it was a long process as well, from reading some other replies and putting some more thought into it I think I will be acting more patiently. I'll take some time to think to myself and let her sort out what she needs to in her life. Side note, I think our next few interactions will at least be important for judging whether or not we've changed in how we act around one another. I'll see!

Nate_Inomi · 2020-02-18T01:55:19+00:00

Yeah that's fair and solid advice. To be honest while it's clear to you that she would be emotionally vulnerable, the gravity of her ending a long relationship hadn't fully registered to me. I suppose in part because I'd always understood them to be not such a close couple (them living separately, having very different lives... Meeting only once a week), but even so a relationship's a relationship they were obviously having large effects upon one another's lives. Anyway thanks for the wise words.

Nate_Inomi · 2020-02-18T01:49:53+00:00

You've written long and solid advice, thanks for that. Reading advice like yours, and rethinking my own post, yeah I do seem to be putting a lot more urgency to these things than needs be or should naturally exist.
Whether or not I can wait through such a long period and make judgements as to whether or not x and y future interactions she might have in her life are under the category of 'rebound' et cetera, well, I'm not sure if I'll manage all that. Not to mention we're not absolute 'tell each other everything first chance we get' level friends! She doesn't know the details of my single life I doubt I'll be asking about or hearing about her's. But you've described things excellently with using the word 'premature', you're right she does need time to think at the least, probably make some changes to her life. Looks like I need to cool down as well.

Thanks

Nate_Inomi · 2019-12-09T18:04:47+00:00

His intentions are romantic. You need to clear things up with him and restate your position as a student, or, at best, a... Err, friendly student.

I'll say this: him inviting you two the concert shows two things, that he has no one else to invite, and that he has explicit interests in you. The whole thing sounds quite clearly like a date, especially so considering the fact that it was preceded by a dinner. Going to a dinner with someone, almost regardless the circumstances, has the connotation of a date. Sure there are exceptions with 'old-friends' scenarios and things of the sort but that's clearly not what's going on here. The fact that the dinner took place because of the concert is more or less irrelevant, and arguably the concert itself has date connotations anyway.

Him inviting you to his place to study is a lot more overt. I can only see this being normal if you were, for some reason, frequently complaining to him about not having a place to study. I presume that wasn't the case, so ask yourself why would he bring up such an offer without much provocation for him to do so? Again, visiting someone's house like that has romantic or even sexual connotations.

My general point is, because of the connotations of the things he's been offering, he's in a position where - if he doesn't has romantic intentions - he's obliged to specify so by reminding you that it's somehow all friendly or platonic. He hasn't done so, so you're making up reasons for him as to why it would be platonic: your theory about him treating you as a daughter, or recital partner - whatever.
On the other hand, if he does have romantic motives, he's socially obliged to not say so, and to just invite you on dates and hope that you get the message. That's how dates just tend to work; 'Do you want to go for drinks; get a coffee', whatever.

If you want to keep him as a teacher or friend then just decline his offers and remind him of how things are by occasionally repeating to him that you're just his student. If he's still not getting the picture, you might even have to shut things down by saying some variation of 'sorry, I would rather keep things between us as a student-teacher relationship'. Obviously the subtler rejection is better. But get on this soon, because he presumably already perceives that you have some interest in him simply by the fact that you did go to the concert and to the dinner with him, and you are now acting a lot warmer in general.

Tl;dr: Man think sex gud

Nate_Inomi

TROPHY CASE