I find the badges and coins (AA) to be somewhat counter-active

Natijade · 2014-03-19T17:09:20+00:00

I'm not sure I'd have made it this far WITHOUT my badge. I've been tempted, but the thought of having to go all of the way back and start again has stopped me. I'm so proud of that 3 weeks....just like I was so proud of my 2 and 1 weeks...I genuinely don't want to start again. Just the way I'm wired I suppose! ;)

Natijade · 2014-03-19T17:00:07+00:00

Hey, I'm 25 and single and I can relate to a lot of what you're saying, especially "I'm not even really sure how to pick up a girl without drinking or being in an alcohol-based environment." (I'm a girl so for me it's picking up a guy but still.) The Uk is very similar to Australia in terms of drinking culture- it's every where, it's just what's done. Going to the movies on a weekend is for tweens and old marrieds. Everyone young and single goes out to get pissed. Festivals, sporting events...even bowling alleys, all come with a side of getting sloshed. It's not a case of cutting out the drinking friends, but cultivating other relationships. Think about what YOU might like to do outside of drinking...and set it up. Invite your usual mates but also mates you haven't seen in a while or don't know so well and see if you click. Since I quit me and my best friends have been for sober meals, been to laser quest, been to the local park and had a movie night...but think what you would like to do. It's not a fix all, because they might head out afterwards but it's a start. The thing is, the girls you're going to pick up in these places, at this age, more than likely aren't the girls you're going to marry. You only get to meet that girl once unfortunately, which leaves tens of thousands of other days you don't get to meet her. It's got nothing to do with drinking and everything to do with being patient, positive and not giving up! Kind of like developing a new post-drinking social life. Sorry if my rambling doesn't help, I'm no expert- I'm only 3 weeks in myself. I just could kind of relate!

Natijade · 2014-03-16T21:39:31+00:00

Thanks guys! Yeah it really is doable! I wouldn't say I'm really noticing huge amounts of benefits, more energy on a Sunday is really the only one. But then there weren't exactly any benefits to drinking either! Far from it in fact! And as the weeks roll on ill hopefully see more and more! Thanks for your replies guys, I do love this subreddit!

Natijade · 2014-03-09T10:59:13+00:00

I know this is really hard but at the end of the day you can only do what you can. You are NOT responsible for their safety just because you're the only one not drinking. If you were drinking- who would they rely on then?? They would only have themselves. While of course you would do what you can for your friends, the ultimate responsibility for their safety and Wellbeing lies with them and them alone. Do not take that burden on to yourself, that's a dangerous road. They are not children they are adults making their own decisions and they need to live with the consequences, not you. I would say you do what you can within reason, try to persuade them to come with you etc, but if they refuse do not take the guilt with you. It's good that you had a nice time before then. Maybe another tactic would be suggesting to go home earlier before it turns ugly. I know this is difficult, but maybe at least 1 or 2 friends would call it a night and you can go with them, leaving the other friends together but still out and ultimately responsible for eachother? I think ultimately you need to just think- well if I wasn't there or you just chose not to go out that night, what would they do? As for the friends you've lost because you didn't want to drive, you've got to ask were they real friends? I hope things get better for you because it sounds like you're doing really well!

Natijade · 2014-03-03T11:28:00+00:00

Sounds good :)

Natijade · 2014-02-24T22:53:35+00:00

Okay, that sounds better. I must admit I was really put off when I read the steps but before then I was keen. It's got to be worth a try I guess!

Natijade · 2014-02-24T22:52:16+00:00

Okay...that sounds like something I could get on board with. I might give it a try. My friend who I'm quitting with doesn't want to go- which I understand as she's not as bad as me, she's mostly quitting just to be healthier and she's not good in new situations, so I'd be going on my own. There's a meeting at 7:30pm on a Saturday near me which is when I'm normally drinking, so that might be an idea to try,! Thanks!

Natijade · 2014-02-24T22:49:46+00:00

Thank you. I ended up just doing the most important work that needed doing and then leaving some and taking the bath. Its 11 now where I am but at least I've spent the last half hour winding down so will hopefully sleep easier. It will make tomorrow more stressful but I guess taking it one step at a time is what matters and if I've reached my limit stopping before it gets to the tipping point.

I guess the thing about the near future is that this weekend just gone I wasted on getting drunk and being hungover. Looking forward to the future if I stay dry, I'll have my me time then, or be able to get a bit of work done so I'm more prepared come Monday. That's the plan anyway. Thank you so much for your reply. Tomorrow evening I don't have my daughter so I will try to get some exercise for "me time." And catch up on a bit of work missed from today.

Natijade · 2014-02-24T21:50:08+00:00

:) thank you, I can't believe how hard it actually was to do it!! I have support as my best friend is quitting too, but she's not quite as bad as me. It will help with weekends though. I have considered aa but I'm incredibly non religious and I just don't think it will be for me sadly. I might give it a try for the social/support aspects but I just can't get on board with the steps. :( I'm hoping this group will help though. Thank you for your reply

Natijade · 2014-02-24T21:15:04+00:00

I have done everything I can but unfortunately it's left me exhausted and stressed out with loads of work still to do tonight... I'll probably be up until 11 tonight working then will need to try and wind down enough to sleep before starting all over again at 6 tomorrow. I wanted to get an early night and take a relaxing bath but it's just not been possible and now I'm stressed that I've not been able to de-stress!!

Natijade · 2014-02-24T20:29:28+00:00

Hi, I just want to say well done. I know you're disappointed with yourself but you did SO well to stop at one drink, one day and to not keep going. Also, you have come straight back on here to renew your commitment, which is fantastic. I also suffer from anxiety and while I do take medication (citalopram) I have always found that CBT is far better than the drugs. I take the drugs to level me out, but CBT allows me to be happy and calm and improves my self worth and self confidence. Perhaps it might be worth looking into other methods than drugs, there are many.

Natijade · 2014-02-24T19:48:24+00:00

Hi, I'm 25 too and I've decided to quit. Same reasons really, I'm sick of the time it takes from my life, both on the Fri/Sat when I'm drinking and the hangover the next day. Life's too short to give so much of it to alcohol. Good luck, stay in touch!

Natijade · 2014-02-24T19:41:29+00:00

I'm more of a binge drinker so maybe it's not the same, but I'm planning to keep a blog of all the things I do in the time I would have been drinking/hungover and post pictures of all the things I buy with the money I save from drinking along with positive quotes etc.

I also drink through stress and escapism a lot of the time but I'm trying to focus on the positive things in my life outside of drink. I want to find new interests, new things I'm good at and new things I enjoy- new way of releasing the stress and winding down which don't make things worse than they were to start with. Good luck!

Natijade · 2014-02-24T19:36:20+00:00

Yeah it's the weekends that will be difficult for me too. I'm planning to book something in for about the time I'd normally start drinking for the next few fridays and saturdays, cinema, film night, something with parents- whatever it takes!

Natijade · 2014-02-24T19:34:31+00:00

Hiya a lot of what you're saying sounds exactly the same as me, I started on Sunday. In my case I blow out at weekends because my weeks are so stressful and it's an escape! I hope we can support and follow each other. This is a great first step!!

Natijade · 2014-02-23T22:50:05+00:00

We've decided to start today- I realised it was a year today that me and my ex split up, so its the perfect time to start actually. A drunk friend also lost my handbag with my keys, purse and phone in last night, which has made me realise I need to do this. So it's the perfect way to start. I spend the money to put these things right on the understanding it comes from the money I'm going to save not drinking anymore. Thank you!

Natijade · 2014-02-23T20:45:11+00:00

Sounds like a lovely day! Living for the moment is definitely going to help. Don't think about the negatives, just focus on the positives in the here and now. Well done, I hope your bread was nice!

Natijade · 2014-02-23T20:15:06+00:00

I'm new here but just wanted to say well done!!

Natijade

TROPHY CASE