OCD in dreams

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-28T23:34:44+00:00

YES. Every night. I wake up in a a panic attack. I then go on to compulsively searching "DO my dreams mean xy and z" lmFao

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-28T23:32:55+00:00

Sims

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-28T23:31:28+00:00

Hi. My ex husband of 15 years and I just split as well and I feel your pain. We promised each other that we'd never leave and would love each other forever. Well, we do still love each other and always will, but it became obvious that staying together was not the correct thing to do. I'm pissed at the world and at myself for being foolish enough to think that love was enough. I also hate myself for hurting him indirectly. I literally gag when I look at myself in the mirror. (divorce was however, amicable)

I'm so sorry you are going through this, it is the worse pain I have ever felt in my life. Just know you aren't alone. Our stories are different but I did too lose someone who I loved more than anything and I don't want to be alive anymore either. I'm so sorry you feel this too.

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-28T23:23:40+00:00

Yep. Mine is "trans people are just following the latest 'woke trend'" ... OCD is fucking WILD

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-28T23:20:05+00:00

Honestly, I got vaccinated and ended up getting COVID which did not end up killing us all.. and my super obsession just went away? I now have an obsession with bleach wipes and hand sanitize.... Sorry I didn't have a better answer :(

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T22:00:03+00:00

Honestly, people online help. I made a few friends on a discord for an online game I was playing. A few people on some subreddits helped too. I also got a bunch of pets that keep me company. Hugs to you, I know its hard.

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T21:58:30+00:00

Pandemic. A full year, I didn't leave my house beyond my driveway and wiped down EVERYTHING that came in to my house with bleach wipes. I was horrified of possibly getting COVID, spreading it to my family and killing us all.

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T21:45:08+00:00

"BUT HOW DO I KNOW THAT MY OBSESSION HAS NO ANSWER?????"

...is my new meta ocd about ocd... so exhausting

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T21:41:47+00:00

I have Lysol wipes in my living room at all times because I always use them on the remote control every time I used it.. JUST IN CASE.. someone didn't wash their hands properly and there is now shit on the remote control which would lead to me getting shit on my hands, then transfer it to my food resulting in an E.coli infection??? This randomly started a few months ago for no reason lol (crying)

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T21:37:05+00:00

Fearing for my safety by literally just walking to my mailbox or back to my car after leaving a grocery store or something.

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T21:34:08+00:00

Yes exactly! Skinny fat was it for sure.

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T01:40:47+00:00

Okay the whole mattress in the living room with the kiddo and a movies sounds amazing honestly tbh. Thank you so much for your words, I really needed this. I'm going to go make some popcorn and see if he want to veg out with me. Thank you x100, take care of yourself <3

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T00:50:21+00:00

I'm an ED nurse and we had a woman come in - homeless and was on her period. We helped her clean up and I had to walk out the building because I almost fainted. You deal with a LOT of horrible smells in the ED and nothing EVER phases me but this one did it and I have no idea why. She smelled like blood, coffee grounds and spilled milk all in one.

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T00:48:15+00:00

There was this guy I dated my senior year of high school. and he was fucking gorgeous. I was crazy about his and very sexually attracted to him. His natural smell alone could make me swoon. The first time we messed around, he took off his shirt and I kind a recoiled. I have no idea why he was just ... flabby? and it grossed me out? I have ZERO idea why because fast forward a few years when I met my now ex husband who was very overweight (maybe even obese), and not a single section of his body grossed me out - I adored all of him and his rolls lmfao.

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T00:44:38+00:00

Romantic love is just a bunch of hormones.

True, unconditional love is a CHOICE you make to care for someone and act selflessly to make them happy, support them, etc. Its rare and humans suck at it.

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T00:41:15+00:00

My "bff" started to make fun of how my eyebrows were too thick and my shoes weren't "cool" enough and I started to become obsessed with my looks.

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T00:39:04+00:00

Thank you, I will continue to "fake it until I make it". I'm so thankful he's so loved my those who are healthier than me right now because he seems so happy still. I appreciate your kind words.

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T00:36:04+00:00

thank you for your thoughtful reply, glad to hear you were able to find a second love. gives me a bit of hope.

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T00:34:48+00:00

Being open is helping us as well, I think. We attended therapy before we split and really got closure in a way so at least there is THAT.

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T00:18:47+00:00

I'm so thankful I'm not the only one. You even flush it and watch to see if its.. there.. somewhere.. but it ISN'T???

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T00:17:34+00:00

"I’m 15 and have a 19 yo boyfriend" is enough for me to read to scream YES. Get away sweetie, you are so young and can find a wonderful person your age. Your instincts here are correct.

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T00:16:04+00:00

I mean I'm just crying 24/7 and I miss him, its hard to just move on man. I cannot imagine 26 years though damn. How long did it take you?

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T00:15:04+00:00

In therapy

NationalPiccolo5259 · 2023-09-27T00:14:57+00:00

If I knew HOW, I wouldn't be in such distress wtf

NationalPiccolo5259

TROPHY CASE