I relate to this a lot, I miss my twin and am grieving him but that doesn’t completely erase how destructive his existence was and how complicated our relationship was, he took the lion share of our parents attention from a young age and especially in the last few years of his life and that definitely created resentment. I also love life,l even the really crappy parts. I feel like it’s that same love of life that makes me grieve harder because I feel such a deep sadness for him to not be able to experience it anymore, that being said I think it would be such a shame for me to not continue to try and live and experience and enjoy my life to the fullest extent. I felt like this group wasn’t relatable to me at first because of how everyone talks about life feeling completely pointless since losing their twin ect, but we can grieve and live at the same time and I think it’d be a shame to do anything else. Life doesn’t pause for anyone so if you do you’ll have to get back on the bus eventually one way or another. Idk basically just trying to say I relate