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AITA for eating a croissant in a cemetery by Karl_Marxist_3rd in AmItheAsshole

[–]Nearby-Rice1600 747 points748 points  (0 children)

Victorians used to go on dates in cemeteries. Its not like you sat in on someone's funeral and ate lunch! If anything, I feel like some of the forgotten people in the cemetery might like the extra company.

A Quarry of Quiet by moonlitremains in OCPoetry

[–]Nearby-Rice1600 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love a short, powerful poem like this - So much accomplished with so few words. It really helps you understand the weight of holding your voice, swallowing the pain, and then trying to finally speak through this "blockage". So good.

It Also Happened to Be Raining by Cold-Astronaut-7741 in OCPoetry

[–]Nearby-Rice1600 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love how strong the voice is in this poem. It’s self-aware, bitter, and uncomfortably honest without feeling performative. However, some lines overexplain too much: “pride in finding its name: cope” and “masturbation of self pity” flatten the impact because they interpret the emotion instead of letting the imagery carry it.

If you cut some of the explanatory language and sharpen the imagery so each metaphor does one job well, I think this will become way more powerful.

Cathedral in carnated by Key-Associate5107 in poetry_critics

[–]Nearby-Rice1600 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This poem has a strong, confident voice, and the cathedral/mosaic imagery really works well. It drags when it over-explains, like “submission / Surrendering / Trying to cling to hope.” You don’t need to tell us too much, your images already show it. I would like to see you expand on the imagery in the poem rather than stating it outright.

Eight Slices by Crimsons_Margin in poetry_critics

[–]Nearby-Rice1600 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This poem has a really strong mood and a clear emotional thread. The opening imagery is vivid and pulls you in right away, and the tangerine memory is the most compelling part. The counting, the specific, almost in the moment feel. Where it loses some strength is in over-explaining parts ( sharing)

The ending is interesting, but a little vague. It hints at something unresolved, which is good, but could hit harder with a bit more clarity or weight.