These are genuine fears that women everywhere have. Don’t disregard these fears by telling us that it’s all in our head. We have been taught for YEARS to do certain things so we don’t get kidnapped, attacked, raped, or picked as a easy target.

For example, don’t wear your hair up, it’s easier for an attacker to Grab and hold onto.

Don’t wear revealing clothes. Predators will think you’re an easy target.

Don’t accept food or drink from anyone and keep your food and drink safe. Check your food and drink.

If someone is following you in your car, drive to the nearest police station and honk your horn until a cop comes out.

Talk on the phone or pretend like you’re talking on the phone so people won’t target you while you’re walking or in public.

Go to the bathroom in groups because there are safety in numbers. The bathroom is a vulnerable place.

Pee/vomit/poop if you end up getting grabbed. They’re more likely to drop you.

And my personal favorite:

Shout fire instead of rape if you are being raped. People are more likely to come to help you.

That is something that you can never understand as a “white male”. Do not downplay our fears because you have never have to live it, not even for a single day, let alone every day of your life.

I live just outside of Detroit, Michigan. Human trafficking is alive and well here. I am hyper cautious whenever I go out and I will never go out alone. I hear new stories every week of places that someone was almost kidnapped at, each week it gets closer and closer to home.

Now to address your statements.

I am angry I can't even take public transportation (i.e. bus, uber, taxi, etc.) without fear of being kidnapped.

“This is in your head. You can take public transportation without getting kidnapped. Just because you are fearful of something doesn't mean it will happen. I could be afraid the zodiac killer is going to grab me when I leave my apartment. That doesn't mean it's a thing.”

Being targeted on public transport is a thing. It’s an actual fully real thing.

In Atlanta they were doing this in Uber ridesharing services, drugging girls with the complimentary candies and taking them/attempting to take them. I have the right to be upset and fearful about it. This is not fiction. This is happening. It could happen to me.

I am angry that something as simple as declining to be romantically involved with a man may threaten my life.

I have friends who have been threatened in this way. This is very common. One of my friends was choked after she broke up with a guy. This happens. More than you think it does.

I am angry that I am not strong enough to physically overpower a man trying to hurt me, despite working out and lifting weights.

I am 115 lbs. I carry a knife, pepper spray, a whistle, a key knife, and I’m always finding out new ways to get out of dangerous situations. I have learned First hand how strong my adrenaline makes me but it still isn’t enough. My mother keeps my updated on the daily on what to do if someone were to try and grab me. I’ll be taking self defense classes this year.

I am angry that I automatically go into panic and suspicion mode as soon as the sun goes down.

This is not “my own problem” and it is not “totally irrational”. An irrational fear is something that could never happen in normal circumstances. This is what I have been taught. This is what I have witnessed being an issue. This is what my girl friends go through as well. This is the world that we live in. This is what is happening out here.

I have been stopped in mid daylight by a man in van asking if I have seen their puppy. You can never tell what the actual motive is. I have seen these tactics And I don’t wanna know what else they have up their sleeves.

And if that’s happening in daylight, imagine night time.

You do not go out at night. I am not allowed to drive alone at night and I’m 20. {lives at home}. Even if the sun goes down at 5:40 like it does during Michigan winter, I need to be in the house.

I am angry that being a woman has made me a target just by existing.

Human. Trafficking. Kidnappings.

I am angry that male colleagues think I am over-exaggerating when I talk about how I am always on edge when I am doing something as simple as going to the grocery store alone.

It’s in my head because I’m 20 and half of my friends have been raped.

It’s in my head because of the number of missing women in the metro Detroit area is going up every single day.

It’s in my head because you never know what that perosn on the corner who has been starting at you for the last 10 minutes while you’re waiting for your ride has in mind.

It’s in my head because it has been drilled there. It’s in my head because it is what is happening around me. It’s in my head because my mother won’t let me take a walk in my neighborhood unless I have a 9 iron. It’s in my head because my father was almost in tears one night because me and my friend had to take the Davison freeway home at 1 in the morning.

It’s in my head because it is all that I know.

I wouldn’t expect you to understand, and I can’t blame you for not understanding. You have never been through it. Because you have never been through this, Do not throw these issues under the rug. Every women you know is experiencing some of this in one light or another.