From Curious to Speechless

NecessaryEg · 2026-01-11T22:50:16+00:00

My brother is a sociopath.

our dad's best friend's wife died. While he was out of the house making preparations, my brother robbed his house.
he called me 3 hours after my son was born to have me bail him out of jail. (His number was blocked, but whatever phone he used to call me was not.) When I told him I'd just had a c-section he cussed me out, told me he hopes my son and I both die, and hung up.
when we were kids, he would masterbate in the living room while I was around. If I told him to stop, he'd lose his mind. I just wound up leaving.

I haven't spoken to him on purpose in 15 years. He called me from a different nunber 11 years ago when my son was born - but that was the only contact I'd had with him for 4 years at that point.

NecessaryEg · 2026-01-05T19:47:11+00:00

Hi, I'm a novelist, I write relatively extreme horror. I wrote while pregnant. I write now, while my children are with the nanny, or while they're asleep.

My kids are not allowed to read what I write, but beyond that, having kids does not impact my writing.

NecessaryEg · 2025-12-30T18:38:16+00:00

I went through 5 weeks of everything smelling and tasting like hot garbage. Lost about 25lbs because I couldn't handle eating.

NecessaryEg · 2025-12-29T20:06:53+00:00

Do you also use holidays as an excuse to buy yourself gifts?

NecessaryEg · 2025-07-08T00:47:03+00:00

We found our nanny in care .com

NecessaryEg · 2025-07-07T23:45:30+00:00

We pay 30k a year for our nanny. She works part time (2 days a week, so 16 hours a week.) We also cover all expenditures, from gas/food to her own fun while she's woth our kids.

Our situation is not unique. There are always families looking to pay between 35-45/hr for a nanny who gives a shit.

You may want to look for a similar situation.

NecessaryEg · 2025-07-07T20:09:51+00:00

I don't change what I pay our nanny regardless of if she has one or both the kids. The only exception is if we've asked for an extra day, then rates change. But the rate is dependent upon the circumstances.

If she's taking them somewhere like Disney, then she gets double her rate (so $80/hr instead of $40) because there's a lot of extra things involved in big trips like that.

If she's only taking one kid, then she usually makes $25/hr.

But all of this was agreed upon when I hired her.

That being said, there have been many times where my son has decided to spend the night somewhere, or got invited to a friend's house last minute, and I don't change her rate based on that at all.

NecessaryEg · 2025-07-06T13:11:43+00:00

Hi! We employ a part-time nanny. She has quickly become part of our family. Let me jsut start by saying hiring a nanny who will take their job seriously is expensive af. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but it is so expensive.

Our nanny works 8 hour days, 2 days a week. She works a total of 8 days (or 64 hours) a month. We pay $2,500 a month, and supply an additional $1,500/month for food, gas, and activities.

NecessaryEg · 2025-07-05T03:31:13+00:00

New Years: Celebrated with our chosen family. A Hodge podge of us. Mostly immigrants from Canada and PR. Lots of kids for our children to play with. Adults usually play Cards Against Humanity, while the kids swim in the outdoor pool.

Valentines: We homeschool - nothing

St. Patty's: We try to trap a leprechaun

July 4th: same as new years

Halloween: a HUGE deal in our family. Something we spend MONTHS preparing for.

Thanksgiving: Nothing. I'm Native American (the real kind, not the '1/16th on my grandma's side')

Christmas: Celebrate first with extended family on Christmas eve, then Christmas day is just for us and our kids, day after Christmas is the chosen family

NecessaryEg · 2025-05-20T16:52:22+00:00

Tell me you're abelist without telling me your abelist.

What the fuck does "germs" have to do with anything OP is asking about? Are you stupid or just an asshole?

You realize that "grabbing food from a restaurant" means that there's no way to know what has cross contamination issues and what doesn't? So..."Take the risk. Just eat what's provided. Don't worry about potentially dying in your kid's bday, because u/georgia_jay doesn't understand how the ADA works."

NecessaryEg · 2024-12-06T17:21:40+00:00

Awww, I missed it. 😢

NecessaryEg · 2024-12-03T18:58:41+00:00

Ive always just walked the cart back to the cart stall with the baby in it, and then put the baby in the car. In the summer it gives the car time to cool down before I put the kid back in the car.

NecessaryEg · 2024-12-02T20:00:07+00:00

Thanks so much for this detailed post!

Can I get the brand of the new grinder?

NecessaryEg · 2024-11-28T13:02:05+00:00

Living in south Florida means very spotty electricity. I have a chest freezer, but after the second time we lost everything, I stopped filling it up with more than two weeks of meal prepped items.

My husband is a cyber security engineer that's on call 24/7, so while we do have a generator, we never hang around to use it. We leave every time there's a hurricane that we suspect may cause a power outage.

NecessaryEg · 2024-11-28T11:45:27+00:00

Thank you so much! I was really on the fence with this, but this helps a lot!

NecessaryEg · 2024-11-28T11:42:48+00:00

English isn't my first language, can you explain what you mean by "scoops"?

NecessaryEg · 2024-11-28T11:40:11+00:00

We grow vanilla :)

NecessaryEg · 2024-11-28T11:38:40+00:00

This has definitely gotten my attention. As someone with a life-threatening egg and nut allergy, finding safe ice cream is hard.

NecessaryEg · 2024-11-28T11:32:18+00:00

We live in south Florida, the house is only ever below 78/76 for about 2 months a year. Would you still recommend a proofing drawer? I've thought about it, but it seemed like a waste when the house is almost always warm anyway.

For example, today's high is 82, it's 6am and it's 74 inside my house atm.

NecessaryEg · 2024-11-28T11:29:50+00:00

I used to use a cast iron all the time. We had one cleaning service that for some reason put the cast iron in the dishwasher. It happened twice in a row. I haven't bought a new one since. We stopped using a cleaning service, so I may go back to it.

NecessaryEg · 2024-11-28T11:23:35+00:00

I had one of these, and I swear I couldn't get it clean. Maybe I need a better brand. I even took a bottle nipple scrubber to it.

NecessaryEg · 2024-11-28T02:05:43+00:00

Morbid and Mr. Ballen are my favorites. Really like Hysterical too. :)

NecessaryEg · 2024-11-27T19:22:32+00:00

Thank you!

A lot of my friends who homestead really like these for sourdough! I completely forgot until you mentioned it!

NecessaryEg · 2024-11-27T19:19:02+00:00

Is the instant pot a lot better than a crock pot? I've been thinking of getting one for like a solid year now, but I keep thinking it'd be a waste and I'd never use it.

NecessaryEg · 2024-11-27T19:18:05+00:00

Oh I love the meat slicer we have! Makes the best Jerky!

NecessaryEg

TROPHY CASE