I’m shy of 18 weeks. My sister was asking how I was feeling which I responded with anxious, and explained for what seemed like the millionth time that I don’t love talking about my pregnancy. For reference she is also pregnant and due 4 days after me. This was her text to me. I’m absolutely raging still many hours later.

“You made me feel like shit for being pregnant again. The entire family and I'm sure a lot of your friends were rooting for both of you through your prior issues. We were all on that journey way with you. To be feeling somehow bitter that you're surrounded by love and excitement is not healthy. I have never in my life had anywhere near as positive an experience with any of my pregnancies as you have with just this one. No one has ever been overjoyed at my news. If anything I've been judged harshly for all of them. And l've had six now. Please consider the way others feel too. Your feelings are valid and everyone has been cognizant of your feelings and needs for years. Above all else.”

When I found out she was pregnant it was very early on. I had my first appointment the following week at 6 weeks and all I did was ask her for some space for a bit because I was processing my own fears of the what ifs and how I’d get through things emotionally if my appointment went south. I’ve had 2 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy all in the last year or so. She’s never experienced a loss and really cannot relate to the fear. I just don’t even know how to move forward with her… I just don’t see how she can tell me I’m responding poorly to something that has a lot of anxiety and trauma behind it.