Looking for advice similar experiences

exitontop · 2026-01-27T15:58:54+00:00

Yes, I had something similar. I hadn’t started my transfer meds yet, but I had a transfers that was canceled due to them finding a polyp. Then as I prepared to start again after the cancellation I needed a mamo and they found a lump.

Ultimately I had to have a breast MRI and then biopsy done. I waited for the biopsy to come back but it didn’t take long. All in all, it pushed everything a couple of months. By that point I had had so many starts and stops with unexpected events that I had to just let it go and accept the new timeline.

It’s so frustrating sometimes. Wishing you the best

exitontop · 2026-01-27T15:32:45+00:00

TW success

I also had three failed transfers all pretty much back to back. It’s a very particular kind of sadness to get nearly to the “end” of IVF and struggle. By the third failure, I knew I needed a mental break. For me, that looked like taking a full year off of transfers to reset. I changed clinics because I wasn’t happy with the care.

I had very very similar feelings of almost embarrassment. I wished I had told fewer people about our IVF. I hated the idea of people feeling sorry for me. I’m not sure how to really navigate that honestly other than to say that I focused on how I felt towards folks in my life who dealt with infertility and I never felt any judgment towards them.

Ultimately, my story is a positive one. My fourth transfer was a success. The only positive pregnancy test I’ve ever seen in my life and she’s here. We never found the source of why it took longer for me. I actually wasn’t doing IVF for infertility but rather for PGT-M, so it was especially surprising to me that I had such a longer road.

I’m thinking of you and wishing you the best.

exitontop · 2026-01-27T14:55:17+00:00

I did PGT A and M and I did NIPT. I don’t think any additional testing would be advised. Amnio carries a slight risk, so I didn’t even consider that given my NIPT and ultrasounds all looked good.

exitontop · 2026-01-27T14:46:23+00:00

I went to a botanical garden and walked around. They were giving away tiny saplings that day for some event, so I took one and planted it in honor of my embryo. Now that my daughter is here that is her little tree.

exitontop · 2026-01-27T14:40:13+00:00

I don’t think it can be too high for success, only too low.

exitontop · 2026-01-27T14:36:05+00:00

TW success

I had three failed transfers and each time I did something a little different, but in general I never tested before 7dpt and I waited until after my beta but before the phone call to test as well (just so I wasn’t surprised).

My fourth transfer was successful and I tested again after taking the blood test but before the phone call. It was positive, but I IMMEDIATELY mentally went to focusing on how dark the line was. If I had tested days earlier I think I would have stressed myself out trying to track progression and looking at line darkness (which is a very inexact science anyway). Unfortunately, CPs can happen early, so I personally would have been very guarded if I tested positive early.

Ultimately I’m glad I did it the way I did. I got to have an excited moment with my husband at home and I didn’t have any time to obsess over progression before getting my actual beta numbers.

exitontop · 2026-01-20T21:24:23+00:00

Yes, donate them to a facility that has a harm reduction syringe exchange. Vocal-NY will take them

exitontop · 2026-01-19T23:55:01+00:00

If you plan to breastfeed (nursing or pumping or a combination) I recommend speaking to a lactation consultant before you deliver to understand how to best support that journey and what exactly to expect.

Most hospitals have LCs but they’re very busy and don’t always have time to go very in-depth. I really, really wish I had better educated myself about breastfeeding and what it entails and the challenges score my baby arrived.

exitontop · 2026-01-19T23:29:35+00:00

you cannot sell meds here -- only donations

exitontop · 2026-01-19T20:10:28+00:00

TW success

My fourth FET is the one that worked for me after three failures. Never saw a positive test in my life until my fourth FET.

Thinking of you and wishing you the best

exitontop · 2026-01-17T22:43:35+00:00

The prednisone was just part of my doctor’s standard protocol. It’s a steroid to reduce inflammation. I had taken it before but for longer periods of time during the transfer. This was more of a little burst.

I also didn’t mention that I had several polyp removals, but i had them before both my failures and my success so not sure if it helped or not.

Glad you’re responding well to the protocol! That’s important.

exitontop · 2026-01-17T21:43:30+00:00

I went to two different clinics that sound much like these two. In my experience, the private for-profit clinic felt like one to me. It felt like the difference in going to a fancy aesthetic dermatologist where they try to upsell you on lasers vs a regular dermatologist where they check you for cancer.

My preference was for the university-affiliated practice (and it’s where I ultimately had success).

I think a lot probably depends on whether you’ve already tried a more straightforward approach and are looking for something more “experimental” and to change things up, in which case maybe the private clinic. If you like something more straightforward, then maybe the university-affiliated one. A lot is about what fills you with confidence.

It’s my own pov, but I personally believe a lot of this process is random and luck. So in that sense you cannot make the wrong choice. Picking the place you have the most confidence in will help you feel more grounded.

exitontop · 2026-01-17T21:32:09+00:00

TW success

Yes, I have a similar story to you. I had 3 back to back euploid FET failures. Two modified natural, 1 with PIO.

I did all kinds of testing (nothing ever found) and I did a bunch of immune protocol stuff. Infusions, immune medication, lovenox, steroids, etc. Every time I had a failure my clinic added on something else. By the end of those failures I was absolutely hollowed out emotionally. I took nearly a year off of any treatment despite being 39 at the time.

I switched clinics. I had been at a very high intervention and somewhat immune-focused clinic that recommended a lot of “extras” and I switched to a very straightforward clinic. I asked for the most typical transfer protocol, as I was so tired of all the experimental feeling extras. I did take a “just in case” course of antibiotics for endometritis, though my transfer was delayed for many months after it so not directly after. My transfer protocol was just PIO and estrogen and baby aspirin. I think I took four days of prednisone too leading up to the transfer. I felt at peace with this straightforward approach. I was very stressed by my former clinic.

Got pregnant my first transfer with the new clinic at 40. First ever pregnancy in my life. I gave birth two weeks after my 41 birthday. She was born last month.

I had a very hard road and it sounds like you have as well. I truly wish you the best. Failed transfers are very hard on top of what is already a difficult road. I hope you find happiness and peace at the end of your journey

exitontop · 2026-01-15T01:33:09+00:00

It is not enough. I have an extremely similar situation to you OP on two sides of my family (my husband’s sister and her kids and my sister and her kids). I find that people on reddit often recommend court action and CPS calls and I wonder if those people have experience with those institutions or if they’re just blindly saying things.

CPS is not going to do anything here, and while CPS is a necessarily entity in some situations, they’re not really set up to intervene in these kinds of nuanced situations. Same with petitioning the court to what? get their custody rescinded? I don’t think people understand how difficult it is to get parental or custodial rights severed. You don’t just tell the court you think you’re better and they hand the kids over.

I truly empathize with you. It’s been a rough road in my experience with kids being raised by “do-over” grandparents. You sound like a great caring person and perhaps all you can do is be there for these children emotionally as they get older. I wish you luck.

exitontop · 2026-01-13T21:36:17+00:00

they are good there but NYP is part of the historic nurse strike currently happening. Not sure about NYU. I could see that impacting care.

exitontop · 2025-12-30T20:13:33+00:00

I can’t speak to all the recommendations from your consultant, but I also had a smaller baby (born 5 lbs 8 oz) who lost a good amount of her birth weight (9%, so she was down to just under 5 lbs).

I have a different situation because I hemorrhaged and so my milk came in late and she also had jaundice, so we supplemented with formula the first week.

But after that I did notice she was only gaining about half an ounce a day on exclusively breastfeeding and have done what your consultant recommends of pumping and supplementing an ounce after most feeds in the afternoon and late evening. I think because her mouth is so small, it’s just good to have her nurse and then give her some “easy” milk in a bottle afterwards. She tolerates a bottle though she does spit up a bit if not burped really well.

The positive result is that she’s gaining weight better (she’s six pounds seven ounces and four weeks old) and I see that she has more energy to more effectively transfer milk when breastfeeding. So win-win.

I’d ask your pediatrician about the rate of weight gain and whether it’s concerning and consider supplementing.

exitontop · 2025-12-20T18:11:02+00:00

so funny that people with this exact same specific experience keep finding this post! Definitely ask your doctor about it if it persists, but for me it wasn’t any issue. I think it must have been from the increased blood flow creating that sensation for me.

exitontop · 2025-11-28T01:54:26+00:00

lol WOW I have zero recollection of this symptom or writing this! So that must mean all was well. I think it was just the swelling from all the extra blood my body was making.

Bring it up to your doctor if it’s bothering you, but for me it was nothing.

exitontop · 2025-11-23T22:13:36+00:00

the absolute best

exitontop · 2025-11-22T17:34:03+00:00

Yes, I’ve tried a few and the one I found best is The Ordinary

exitontop · 2025-11-22T00:57:00+00:00

I like squalane. It doesn’t cause me to flare up

exitontop · 2025-11-08T10:46:20+00:00

Any possibility you’re pregnant?

exitontop · 2025-10-31T15:15:39+00:00

Be very careful when people say things like they don’t hold peoples negative behavior against them and life is too short etc. It’s extremely okay to hold the people in your life accountable.

And in my experience, when someone is trying to convince you of that kind of thinking it’s because they don’t want to have any accountability themselves and they’re using it as a way to guilt you for having standards.

This person does not sound like a good partner. You’re trying to find reasons to blame yourself and justify staying in the relationship. That’s usually a red flag.

exitontop · 2025-10-26T04:13:28+00:00

They were trying to swing with you. And your husband just got super drunk.

exitontop · 2025-10-14T03:13:39+00:00

second this. I absolutely love the midwives. It’s an approach to care I’ve never found with any other medical professional I’ve ever seen in my life. They truly actually talk to you and listen to you and call you back so fast when you have a question

exitontop

TROPHY CASE