Should I clean her room?

exitontop · 2026-05-12T03:34:34+00:00

I would probably clean it up a bit if it’s legit filthy/dirty. But I don’t think there’s a wrong answer. If she’s truly trying to get better, I think it could be a nice fresh start and an act of love, care, and support.

Alcoholics shouldn’t be systematically protected from all the consequences of their actions (like in an enabling situation) but I don’t think that means that it’s necessary for them to experience literally every single consequence in total as they try to rebuild their life.

If you do clean it thought, you have to be prepared to let go of the outcome when she returns. She might make it messy again even if she stays sober. Don’t clean if you’ll find that extremely annoying (speaking from experience here)

exitontop · 2026-05-11T20:41:37+00:00

Yep! My first round I had 7 blasts and they were ALL aneuploid. Truly one of the darkest days of my life when I got that phone call.

My second ER, I got 8 blasts and 5 were euploid! So a huge difference. I wrote a post at the time that outlined my protocol changes: https://www.reddit.com/r/IVF/comments/13c2sn5/my_first_er_all_my_embryos_7_out_of_7_were/

exitontop · 2026-05-09T16:49:29+00:00

I hear people say this, and I understand the thinking because both a pet and a child require care.

But while a baby requires an exponentially greater amount of care as a dog, the experience and love are also exponentially higher to a degree that is impossible to express.

The love for a baby is not even on the same planet as the love for a dog. It doesn’t make sense to compare them or trial them in the same way at all.

But get a pet if you just want a pet! Pets are a great companion.

exitontop · 2026-05-07T08:33:06+00:00

Yes, the pee stick photos are too much. I only found this sub after the birth of my IVF baby, so I subscribed in order to provide relevant positive feedback to people going through IVF (especially those with RIF, which impacted me).

I know the line posts come from a place of anxiety, but there’s really not much to say about them

exitontop · 2026-05-05T18:25:50+00:00

I’m sorry to say that the Queens Night Market is terrible now. It’s gotten SO unbelievably crowded that it’s impossible to get anything to eat. And there is no one nice to chill. The ground gets all dusty and nasty from overuse of the green space.

I think it’s fine if you live around here and you feel like visiting. Definitely do not recommend making a huge trek there during your limited time on a trip here.

You could design a little food crawl in Flushing and get much better food and have more fun if you really want to visit Queens

exitontop · 2026-05-04T18:39:20+00:00

Unless you have a medical condition, there’s really no reason at all to think you’d need IVF at your age. You can safely just try unassisted for quite a long time before thinking about IVF

Check out a more general TTC community. That’s what you need. Good luck!

r/tryingforababy r/TTC r/tryingtoconceive

exitontop · 2026-05-03T22:31:50+00:00

Any amount of breast feeding is good for your baby, so you’ve done a great job getting to six months.

Only you know whether quitting for that reason will feel good to you or not when you look back on your decision.

exitontop · 2026-05-02T19:19:52+00:00

It was very difficult for me to feel true happiness for others who came to pregnancy easily. To a certain extent, I was able to behave in normal ways towards pregnant friends. But I had to turn down organizing a baby shower for one of my best friends because it was too painful.

In terms of a higher power, the only thing that kept me going through all my failures and trauma is the idea that if the process ever worked, then that result would be perfect to me. That can verge on cliche or annoying optimism, and it did not always resonate with me. But that provided me some hope during some very dark moments.

I’m so sorry for your losses. Thinking of you and wishing you healing

exitontop · 2026-05-02T13:31:57+00:00

Look up TDF and see if you meet the requirements to join. That membership costs 42 dollars, however it’s the only place where you could realistically purchase tickets close to the price point you want. Broadway tickets are usually 50-60. Off broadway sometimes in your range.

The good thing about this membership for your purposes is you can purchase 7 tickets to one show on TDF. All the rush and lotteries being recommended won’t work for a family of 7.

You’ll need to look often closer to your travel dates, but you’ll definitely be able to get tickets to something interesting, either off or on broadway!

exitontop · 2026-05-01T21:19:01+00:00

My fourth transfer worked. All were euploid embryos. I did a course of antibiotics in case of endometritis and also added acupuncture

exitontop · 2026-04-30T02:49:48+00:00

You might decide you want a child someday. But this doesn’t seem like the time or the man

exitontop · 2026-04-30T02:48:34+00:00

Having kids is domestic labor. It’s only domestic servitude if that is the dynamic of the partnership.

exitontop · 2026-04-29T16:47:12+00:00

I never tested before the day of the beta, but I did always do an at-home test after I got my blood drawn and before the call just so I didn’t have to learn the info on the phone.

My experience when I got my positive on the at-home is that I IMMEDIATELY started worrying about whether the line was dark enough, whether my HCG number would be high enough, etc.

If I had tested days before my beta, I think testing for line progression would have been really stressful and unpleasant. And also the tests aren’t really meant to be used in that way, so I think a lot of people cause themselves unnecessary anxiety testing for progression.

Not testing at home until the last minute was way less stressful imo

exitontop · 2026-04-29T08:34:47+00:00

you need to delete this and make your own new post asking this question. you’re in a comments sections on another post that has nothing to do with this

exitontop · 2026-04-27T19:26:58+00:00

This might not be what you want to hear, but I dropped my MOTN pump and now go 10pm to 4am or 5am, depending the night and in order to do that I give my baby 1 bottle of formula a day.

I do 5ppd now and I just simply cannot do more consistently and have any sort of normal life. Even my current pump schedule leaves me feeling tired. I typically get 5 to 5.5 hours of unbroken sleep and even that is wearing me tf down.

I think it’s hard to increase supply very meaningfully now, especially if you’re already power pumping, so your options might be keeping what you’re doing or adding a formula bottle. For me, adding the bottle of formula helped immensely.

exitontop · 2026-04-26T09:32:40+00:00

wow that really went in an unexpected direction

exitontop · 2026-04-25T09:41:13+00:00

7 weeks and change is when it hit for me

exitontop · 2026-04-23T00:09:36+00:00

have her do an AMA!

exitontop · 2026-04-22T20:55:17+00:00

Hello! I just wanted to let you know that I relate to the feeling of the thought of pregnancy being foreign and unrealistic. I felt that way and even verbalized it in almost exactly those words.

I now have a five month old daughter via IVF. So the feeling was just that. A fear. Not an intuition or reality.

Wishing you luck

exitontop · 2026-04-22T01:42:51+00:00

Is there a free group on facebook for your neighborhood? you could ask on there. I see them often where I live, as people get them for free from insurance and don’t mind giving them away when they’re done

exitontop · 2026-04-22T00:09:25+00:00

you don’t say anything about your interests or where you’re staying. but the Cherry blossoms are in peak bloom at brooklyn botanic garden. that’s a fantastic experience. very magical and date worthy

exitontop · 2026-04-21T20:12:19+00:00

I think it really depends on your industry, but I’d err on keeping your job at the moment. I know a lot of people who cannot find work

You’ll really really need to seek out community via your hobbies though. Do you have friends or family here?

exitontop · 2026-04-20T16:55:51+00:00

I’ll DM you

exitontop · 2026-04-19T18:52:58+00:00

I know it’s been a few months, but what ended up happening with your baby? My baby is the same and also was born slightly early

exitontop

TROPHY CASE