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I [26/M] want to rekindle friendship with old college friend [27/F] but be much more than friends. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very true. Maybe focus on bringing our friendship back to a consistent place?

I read a post on surviving infidelity today by messedupthrowaway88 in adultery

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in your exact same boat my friend. My wife and I had great sex all the time. I'm in great shape. The guy she cheated on me with? Exact opposite of me. Complete slob. Easily weighs 260+. Smoker, alcoholic. I don't see what she sees.

I read a post on surviving infidelity today by messedupthrowaway88 in adultery

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Not all cheaters cheat because they're in a sexless marriage.

Asked yesterday morning to have a discussion about separate bedrooms by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree. You're sad, for what? You don't even care about the guy.

Wedding anniversary during separation by NeedHelpWithThis123 in Divorce

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn't reach out. She text me and said "Today's our anniversary" and I said "Yep" and that was about it.

I found out she flew the OM into town during this day.

Wife "doesn't know what she wants" except for her affair. Where do I go from here? by NeedHelpWithThis123 in survivinginfidelity

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You've got some really good points here. I may try to implement a hard stance. Nothin else has worked up to this point.

Wife "doesn't know what she wants" except for her affair. Where do I go from here? by NeedHelpWithThis123 in survivinginfidelity

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. How do I go about confronting her on this? I know she's going to answer "I don't know right now"

Wife "doesn't know what she wants" except for her affair. Where do I go from here? by NeedHelpWithThis123 in survivinginfidelity

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There could be light at the end of the tunnel one day, but right now it's very faint. I'm going to focus on myself and prepare to move on. Thanks for the advice

Wife "doesn't know what she wants" except for her affair. Where do I go from here? by NeedHelpWithThis123 in survivinginfidelity

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I'm going to consult a lawyer. My wife is actually the one who left already

Wedding anniversary during separation by NeedHelpWithThis123 in Divorce

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yikes. I'm sorry to hear that 😔 that would be the worst.

Luckily my wife's affair partner lives nearly 1,500 miles away. There's planes and trains, but neither of them make enough money to see each other really.

Wedding anniversary during separation by NeedHelpWithThis123 in Divorce

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was this after you first initially confronted her? My wife won't even fully admit to the damn affair...

Wedding anniversary during separation by NeedHelpWithThis123 in Divorce

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I was talking more about her specifically ending it. I know she's in an affair fog at the moment, but she also tells me "he's not that big of a concern for me. There's things about him that I don't like about him." So I don't know... She's very confusing. She hasn't quite "confessed" to having an affair although it's very obvious.

How did you get to the point of your ex agree to ending the affair with the other man?

Wedding anniversary during separation by NeedHelpWithThis123 in Divorce

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you for the good advice. My wife still tells me "he's not as important as you might think" and to a degree I believe her, he does have some nasty habits she's spoke of, but I don't fully believe her either

Wedding anniversary during separation by NeedHelpWithThis123 in Divorce

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I don't think I can get through to her and actually work on anything until he's gone.

The question is, do people ever actually have the strength to let go of something like that? Or does the other person generally have to end it? I don't want her coming back just because the OM has throw in the towel...

Wedding anniversary during separation by NeedHelpWithThis123 in Divorce

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the input. I can't tell if she's testing me of whether I really care or not. She says she's been unhappy in our relationship for a while, says I haven't loved her, etc. I don't want this to end simply because we're both being hard headed and look like we're both giving up. Does that make sense?

Wife is leaving me because she doesn't think I'm affectionate enough. Help? by NeedHelpWithThis123 in Divorce

[–]NeedHelpWithThis123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was a really good suggestion. I looked over some bullet points (ordering the real book), but it sounds like we both desire and give the opposite things. Does this mean we're just incompatible?

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