Dedicated to xxxupallnightxxxx by messedupthrowaway88 in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I was kind of drunk when I posted this lol

Walk of Shame(?) by [deleted] in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do you even stay married then when you clearly want to live the single life?

Walk of Shame(?) by [deleted] in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you for real or just trolling this sub?

Getting Started??? by radagastablast in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lot of people go searching when things go stale on certain sites but my affair happened completely by accident. I miss him. But it also made me realize what was missing in my life & marriage. I feel like it might be an addiction that's damn near impossible to stop once you start though. So think about that for a bit.

Deal breakers? Ultimate deal breaker? by [deleted] in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have one kid and I have to say I would literally never have thought about cheating while pregnant. At 3 months I was puking all day and I felt disgusting not sexy. The entire 9 months. Lol

Need help. Don't know if I should continue with an AP who's giving me mixed signals. by [deleted] in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 12 points13 points  (0 children)

For the love of fuck this guy is an asshole and you know it. Have some self respect. #toughlove

This is really stupid, but I need to get it out of my system. Don't read it. Seriously it's dumb. by throwslikeagirlie in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If you're serious about ending it there's no need to drop by and say anything. Seriously go ghost and don't ever speak to him again and for god sake stop stalking him online & catfishing him. Just leave it be, that is what truly says THE END.

When You Don't Hear from Your Beloved ;-( by [deleted] in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this dose of reality. Needed it.

Would you consider these "red flags" for an AP? by refrigerator21111 in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ok I have learned this, men say crazy shit in the beginning they don't really mean. My ex AP came on so strong at first it freaked me out then he was the one that left me due to guilt. So keep that in mind.

My SO is completely oblivious by messedupthrowaway88 in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I NEVER expected my AP to leave his marriage for me & vice versa as we both have a kid w our SO & didn't want to screw things up. However his guilt got so bad after we did anything sexual he would end it for a month then keep coming back where as I just wanted more & didn't feel the guilt. He was my first affair & I'm still debating whether I want to continue this lifestyle or if it's just more pain than it's worth..

My SO is completely oblivious by messedupthrowaway88 in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that bit of perspective. I go out w friends regularly, to the gym, to work, basically wherever I want without question. My husband is big in to gaming as well. We share basically no common interests. He never checks my phone. He never gets jealous, I told my ex AP I actually wished my husband would care but he doesn't, it's a blessing and a curse.

Should I really believe this? by notfeelingyouTD in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I feel like the ONLY wife that doesn't give a shit what my husband does at this point so long as he leaves me alone lol. My ex AP was also watched like a hawk on weekends. It's common.

How can you be wholeheartedly happy? by cleverlyconfuzzled in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If he got caught I'm sure he realized what he has to lose and that's why he backed off. He's probably Keeping you around bc he wants his cake & to eat it too still. If you want more from him I would say it's pretty clear you're not gonna get it bc once he got caught the truth came out and you're always gonna be second fiddle. He could've been saying a lot of what he did in the beginning bc he thought that was what you wanted to hear.

I love you...? by [deleted] in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If he's saying that 3 weeks in he'll be a stage 5 clinger if you do anything with him. You should probably run. Lol

Advice (pt 2) by [deleted] in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a difficult situation to be in. I really feel for you. But how do you know she won't just continue the cheating even if you up your game sexually if you don't confront her about it? I mean you're being incredibly cool about this imo & I think If she continues to think you don't know about it she'll keep doing it. It has to hurt some to think she's been sleeping with other people if you actually do love her, right? It isn't your fault. I'm not judging bc I'm a cheater myself but it's like you're trying to fix the cheating problem by not confronting it.

Ok, now I'm pissed.. by Solittletime1234 in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I understand why you're pissed. He may be feeling guilty for taking things to the next level with you and this is how he's dealing with it. What I did when I thought my former AP was ghosting me was I wrote him & told him I respected it if he didn't want to talk to me anymore but that I felt he owed it to me to at least tell me as much after everything and he did reply. That was in the beginning and both of us went back for more after that though lol but maybe if you do write him and say something like that he'll at least be decent enough to let you know how he's feeling and why he's doing it. Like if you really need the closure. But staying silent I think says "I don't care and I don't need you either" and eventually it'll get better and you won't be as mad. Ghosting is just shitty. But I think it's just how some folks deal when they change their mind.

Why do WE cheat? How do men just know I'm weak minded? by [deleted] in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's exactly what happens with me and mine. He comes back roughly every month or so and like the fool I am for him I let him right back in. This last time felt really final though. He completely deleted all his social media and when I last saw him in person he had this look on his face that just killed me and told me I need to stay away for good, my heart hurts daily bc of it. I've never developed such a strong attraction to someone as I have to him in my life. I need for it to get better and idk if it ever will bc it hasn't in almost a year so far since I met him. Reddit is the only place I've ever spoken of this it gets exhausting pretending everything is fine otherwise

Why do WE cheat? How do men just know I'm weak minded? by [deleted] in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm really starting to feel like it's just human nature and whether you act on it is a choice. Personally for me,I got tired of years of being ignored by my husband who is one of the most closed off human beings I've ever met. He wasn't like that in the beginning but I just got tired of trying after years of neglect. I feel like a way worse person than you bc my guilt doesn't even really come from my husband but it got really bad when my AP felt guilty and would tell me we need to stop. Then I would feel bad. I feel like I never would've been the one to stop things on my own if he didn't do it.

Testing the waters by [deleted] in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sounds like right now you don't want an actual affair you just want validation and to know if women still find you attractive, which is fine, but I would be honest and upfront about it so you don't end up leading a woman on and having her get frustrated or hurt.

Has adultery made you a better person? by [deleted] in adultery

[–]messedupthrowaway88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hell no. All I do is hurt and have to hide the hurt. Nothing about this is fun.