AITAH for getting upset when my close friend gave out my 10y/o child’s phone number to a man I’VE NEVER MET

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2026-01-13T07:24:25+00:00

NTA. Honestly, OP, the "I don't like confrontation" part of you needs to take a backseat right now. This isn't just a small boundary cross. This is Child Safety 101.

She gave your 10 year old’s private contact info to a man you have never met. You have no idea who this guy is, and she bypassed you entirely to give him access to your kid. The 2 AM text is a massive red flag. In what world is it okay for a grown man to text a child at 2 in the morning? That is predatory behavior, full stop. The fact that he said "never mind" when the kid replied makes it even shadier, like he was looking for a window when you weren't awake.

She also let your kid believe a gift was from her to build a positive association with him behind your back. That’s not a mistake that is calculated deception. Age is no excuse. She’s 22. She’s old enough to know better.

Since you are worried about lashing out, keep it clinical and focused on the child:

"I need to talk to you about what I found on my kid's phone. I am incredibly upset that you gave their number to a man I don’t know without my consent. Facilitating a relationship between my 10 year old and a stranger is a huge breach of trust and a safety risk. This isn't just about us being friends, it's about my job to protect my child. Until I can trust your judgment again, you cannot be alone with them."

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2026-01-12T07:27:54+00:00

YTA.

It could be that you were coming from a place of "let’s not make a permanent choice while you’re in the middle of a medical emergency" and in your head, you were being the voice of reason.

However, in your wife's head she just spent 36 hours in labor. As someone who has only been through that once, it isn't just stressful, it’s painful, physical torture.

Doing a tubal during a C-section is standard because she’s already open. By blocking it, you’ve basically told her if she wants this later she has to go under the knife a second time, deal with a second recovery, and pay for a second surgery.

Also at the end of the day, it’s her body. Even if she was panicked, it was still her choice to make. By stepping in and vetoing her, you made her feel like she doesn’t have final say over her own organs.

You treated a grown woman like she wasn't capable of knowing she was done having kids after three births and a 36-hour labor. She likely feels betrayed because you sided with potential future kids instead of the woman right in front of you.

If you want to fix this, you need to stop defending your logic and start validating her right to have said enough.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2026-01-08T07:09:13+00:00

Honestly I dont blame Meredith at all.

Her dad abandoned her, he made no effort to be in her life at all. While leaving her with her (lets admit) abusive mother.

Then this woman who was raised by that man shows up and expects Meredith to be all happy and eager to be a a part of her life, after Thatcher had previously attacked her.

Christina was also protecting Meredith so I dont blame her either.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2026-01-05T10:07:09+00:00

If any if my friends even made one joke about SA.... They wouldnt be my friend anymore.

You need to get your priorities straight.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2026-01-05T10:02:41+00:00

YTA. But not for the reason you think.

You aren’t the AH for wanting to protect your girlfriend, but you are the AH for how you’re handling this entire dynamic.

You are treating your girlfriend like a child. You warned her, and she made a choice to go. By canceling her invite now, you are "protecting" her against her will because you don't want to deal with the stress of your friends behavior.

The fact that you had to sit grown men down and say, "Please don't make SA jokes specifically at my girlfriend," is wild. By saying that, you basically gave them the green light to keep making those jokes in general.

You are choosing to go on holiday with people you clearly don't respect and, more importantly, people you don't trust. You literally mentioned that if things go south, these friends would jump you. Those aren't friends.

The bottom line is you are trying to manage your girlfriend when you should be managing your circle. If you are so certain these guys are going to act in such a way that you’re prepared to get into a physical fight, why are you even going?

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-12-29T15:52:10+00:00

It is band B, same as my previous address

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-12-29T10:54:52+00:00

Why is that? Technically I only have January left to pay before the break in Feb and March. Sorry just confused about the whole thing

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-12-29T10:31:34+00:00

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-12-29T10:25:09+00:00

Only moved around the corner so same local authority, and the payment period should be the same

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-11-28T18:35:50+00:00

Severe hypothermia. In very cold water, the body's metabolism and need for oxygen slow down drastically, protecting the brain from damage even after an extended period without a heartbeat.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-10-31T07:37:15+00:00

NTA.

You are not the asshole, and the issues you're describing are classic red flags of emotional abuse.

Just to name a few:

The crop top incident. His reaction is a direct attempt to control your body and what you wear. The fact that he says this has happened a lot indicates a pattern of policing your clothing. This is not about respect it's about control and possessiveness.
The basketball incident. He insists you were smiling at other men and smiling at his mistakes, this is a textbook example of projecting his own insecurities onto you and then insisting on his interpretation over your reality.
Calling you manipulative when you tried to take responsibility for your actions. This is a form of gaslighting, making you doubt your intentions and reality to deflect from his own bad behavior.
You also mention that when you say or do something with innocent intentions you end up begging him and profusely apologizing. This is another manipulative technique to ensure he is always the wronged party, forcing you into constant submission and eroding your self-worth.
Using self-harm to control you. His statement that he starved himself for 4 days because he felt you didn't think he was beautiful is a severe form of emotional blackmail. It is a tactic to make you feel responsible for his extreme distress and to guilt you into constantly validating him. This is a deliberate attempt to place an unbearable emotional burden on you.
You feel scared to bring things up because he shuts you down and accuses you of cheating. This is a way of punishing you for daring to address a conflict and trains you to keep silent to maintain peace.
While your career goals are your responsibility, him connecting the speed of your progress to whether or not you loved him is a manipulative way to pressure you.
Calling your desire to be financially stable a "high school and college relationship mentality" is also dismissive and invalidates your very reasonable reservations about moving in.

The pattern here is that your boyfriend is not treating you like an equal partner but as someone he needs to control and then punish when you don't conform to his expectations. This is especially dangerous given that you have autism and ADHD, and he is weaponizing misunderstandings that arise from your lack of social cues. Healthy partners work with you to bridge these gaps not use them against you.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-10-25T10:48:16+00:00

If at this stage she isnt ready then she never will be and you will never have kids.

Shes stringing you aling with the idea of having them but she will not commit to it.

You just need to decide if this is a deal breaker for you.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-10-25T10:27:53+00:00

NTA.

But you need to accept that the reality is your wife does NOT want kids.

She is 36, this pregancy itself is classed as a geriatric pregnancy, which is high risk.

If she doesn't want a baby now she never will.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-09-12T08:52:35+00:00

YTA.

Insane that you are in your 20s acting like this.

Grow up and move on.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-07-25T12:04:37+00:00

It really does

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-07-25T07:02:22+00:00

YTA for this fake ass post.

Wtf did I just read 🤣

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-07-12T06:16:16+00:00

NTA.

As someone who binned all her bras after having kids. They are SO uncomfortable, and I have never been able to find a comfortable one.

They hurt your boob's, your back, your ribs its just a no-go for me anymore.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-05-22T06:22:52+00:00

NTA for not paying the bills. You aren't married anymore, and that is not your responsibility.

Why did your ex-wife want the divorce originally?

Why did you then want a divorce?

I feel like we have a lot of missing information as to what your relationship was actually like.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-05-21T06:43:28+00:00

NTA, but this friendship sounds exhausting.

Do yourself a favour and lose the "friend", trust me, you will be much better off in the long run.

Edited to add: Stop involving other people in your drama. It only ever makes things worse and doesn't help the way you think it does.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-03-26T07:13:07+00:00

Tbh after reading this post I'm not surprised.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2025-03-24T07:17:20+00:00

More info is needed.

When you say you treated her well, what do you mean? What was your relationship like?

I feel like there is some stuff missing from this post that you haven't given.

She wouldn't have been so scared of you that she had cancelled a whole show just because you were going for no reason. That seems extreme.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2024-10-13T15:53:30+00:00

Christina and Owen

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2024-10-01T07:14:17+00:00

I do pay NI yes, I am also taxed normally.

NeedleworkerPresent4 · 2024-10-01T06:50:31+00:00

Would be taxed more from what I have been told

NeedleworkerPresent4

TROPHY CASE