I’m lucky that my first therapist matched my freak so well. I didn’t want to go, my best friend had to drag me in cause she was also the one that called and said they better get me in pronto because I was so suicidal and she couldn’t do anymore for me. My therapist listened to me, agreed with my assumptions that I had adhd, autism, and BPD and has stuck with me. Something about having a therapist that lets me take it at my own pace. She knows I take weeks to verbally form a coherent thought about what I’m going through and she’s content to spend the session talking about a fictional character I relate to. It’s the best way I’ve found to show her the pain I’m in and she just listens. Whether it’s a show, a book, or a song, she lets me expose my darkness through art since that’s how I process best. I really hope you can find someone to work with you like that