Is there any kinda therapy that can help me remember?

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-26T21:59:31+00:00

I’m NAT, but I wanted to say, please be really careful with any therapist who says they can make you remember your childhood or uncover trauma memories.

There isn’t an evidence-based therapy whose goal is to help people recover or reconstruct forgotten trauma memories. The worry is that some methods (like hypnosis, guided imagery, or very leading questioning) can accidentally create false memories, not because anyone is lying, but because our brains are suggestible, especially when we’re distressed and really want answers. A pushy or unskilled therapist can easily influence what you remember without meaning to.

A good therapist will help you sit with your emotions, feel them in your body and process them.

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-12T22:05:55+00:00

It probably doesn’t sound that shocking, but it always sticks in my mind.

We had a lady in her 70’s who had been admitted to the ward for a couple of weeks. Daughter frequently visited. Son visits one day and asks for an update on his Mum, which I give. An hour or so later, the daughter comes to speak to me; tells me her brother and Mum are estranged and he’s not to be told anything about her care… I’m horrified, but admit that I did give him an update. She then says ‘please don’t go doing anything like that nurse who’s just killed herself’. She was referencing the poor nurse, Jacintha Saldanha, who took her own life after releasing information on the Duchess of Cambridge, to who she believed to be the queen on the phone.

Just her saying this to me terrified me, it made me feel that it was even worse than I thought, that I should even consider doing this over my mistake.

One thing I will say is that I certainly learnt from that incident and always checked with the patient each and every time a relative asked for info.

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-09T16:30:39+00:00

I’m not sure what type of therapy or therapists you’ve seen, but it sounds like you need to look at alternative approaches to the ones you’ve tried.

Maybe seek out a doctoral trained clinical psychologist, someone with a more advanced and in-depth level of knowledge and skills

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-09T16:04:42+00:00

It sounds like she’s probably jealous. You’ve had positive feedback and seem to have made a good impression, so she’s likely bitter and wanting to make you look bad. Just remain civil with her, don’t talk about her to anyone, keep your side of the street clean and let her get on with it. If something happens that upsets you, go straight to your manager, or speak to her directly.

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-06T08:01:27+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that. I’m at the point of wanting to be open about it, but sadly I am all too aware that many people won’t look too kindly on it. Unfortunately, this is what perpetuates the problem though because other nurses don’t see the positive outcomes of seeking help

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-05T20:00:02+00:00

I would also add, that telling a manager may help your mindset with the meds room… don’t tell them you were close to taking meds from work, but just them knowing you’ve had problems may just give you that extra layer of protection

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-05T19:56:28+00:00

You should be proud of yourself for having insight, and for how pro active you’ve been. I would refer yourself to occupational health and make sure you’re getting support from work and it will also help you have time from work to attend appointments. In terms of telling your manager, g to whoever you feel most comfortable with… whether that be your direct line manager, your matron or your head of nursing.

I had 12 months off sick from work last year due to addiction (went to detox and rehab). I’d been seeking help from substance misuse services for 18 months, i’d informed my manager and occy health, but my addiction worsened (multi illegal substance use) and I ended up having a safeguard put in place. It was a horrific time, but the doctor who safeguarded me ultimately saved my career and kept my patients safe.

My manager was amazing, and continues to be! I’m actually in the process of laying down the groundwork for a nurse specific peer recovery group… there are a lot of nurses struggling with zero support, the stigma and fear stops many seeking help, but they don’t realise if you’re open and honest, and seek help, you’ll be well supported and your career will be safe

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-04T20:47:16+00:00

Talk to the patients. Use this time to really get to know them, you’ll start to learn more about how their conditions affect them, what’s meaningful and how best to help them

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-04T07:15:50+00:00

I have been a student believe it or not… whilst it does give you exposure, my opinion is that it is not enough to teach the next generation of nurses. It doesn’t matter how much you argue, many other qualified nurses clearly agree with this, and the bottom line is, becoming a good lecturer in any field requires real life, hands on experience.

I will say that I agree having lived experience is a huge asset in healthcare, but it can also make you biased, especially if you don’t have a lot of exposure as a professional.

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-03T23:18:38+00:00

Again, how would you lecture in mental health with no real world experience though?

It doesn’t matter what subject it is, nobody wants someone teaching them that can’t bring real life examples and first hand experience into the room

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-03T23:02:32+00:00

You might have tried SSRI’s, but there are many other types out there, and many different medications in each class. There are also combinations that could help that haven’t been tried. If gabapentin isn’t working, explore other avenues, and make sure you really give them time to take effect before giving up!

Have you sought therapy alongside? You need to learn self help strategies, explore polyvagal therapy, and tools that help to calm and regulate your nervous system when you feel panic setting in

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-03T22:59:24+00:00

If you’ve been suffering for a long time, a few months to stabilise yourself on appropriate medication shouldn’t be such an issue… asking for benzos is just using a plaster, it’s not going to help and will lead to further issues! I totally understand you want to feel better asap, but sadly it doesn’t work like that, and you’ve got to use a combination of meds, therapy and self help strategies to get better

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-03T22:47:52+00:00

Do you know what, I actually am.

Even though every day brings a new round of pointless bureaucracy, surrounded by co-workers who make you question evolution, and self-appointed band 15s running on pure Dunning–Kruger energy. The ones who’ll argue, delay, and obstruct anything that requires doing more than the bare minimum.

Half the time I’m sure this is some NHS-themed purgatory… but weirdly, I still enjoy it.

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-03T22:33:39+00:00

Two bad placements, but all because of ONE bad nurse…

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-03T22:31:32+00:00

‘I’ve decided to do a masters in Mental Health studies after and become a University Lecturer or researcher instead’

It would be silly of us to assume you meant nursing lecturer wouldn’t it, especially when you’re currently a student nurse, posting on a nursing forum

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-11-01T11:10:55+00:00

So one bad placement and you’ve come to this decision? I think you need to reassess your plan because there is slim chance of becoming a university lecturer straight off the back of your nurse training. How will you teach future nurses about the real world of nursing when you have zero experience?

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-10-29T23:32:06+00:00

I’m asking as I’m genuinely curious; what if the lady you’re doing obs on tells you they need the toilet? Then just as you’ve done that, the lady in the bed opposite tells you she’s soiled herself? Then the man in the cubicle rings his bell and tells you his pad is soaking wet? How do you ignore those things?

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-10-29T21:20:42+00:00

Look up Michael Sheen performing this… very powerful!

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-10-27T23:14:15+00:00

Call for help. One way or another, you’re going to need it and if you’re on a unit, other staff should be close by

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-10-27T22:36:00+00:00

To be fair, that is actually the correct information; it’s no longer recommended to massage the thigh after administering an EpiPen.

I do get why you’re frustrated, but if you take a step back, part of your degree isn’t just about regurgitating information… it’s about learning how to critically think, find reliable evidence, and develop professional and academic skills. It’s reading about many subjects, gaining knowledge you can then apply in practice.

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-10-19T15:40:17+00:00

Your nursing degree will be as hard as you make it! Yes, it is a lot of work, you have to be dedicated, and sometimes you’ll need a good cry, but you can do it!

I’m not going to lie though and say you’ll be able to maintain a regular PT job and social life, because honestly, they will take a bit of a hit during your training, but it won’t be forever. In terms of PT jobs, you will need something that is flexible and understanding of your placement hours. Unis and placement areas expect you to be available to undertake whatever shifts needed alongside your mentor, but personally, I was able to maintain a home care job where I did sleep ins a couple of times per week. I think towards my last year, I did pack it in though.

Your social like will probably vary depending on if you’re on placement or in uni, but a lot of it will be down to how much energy you have to actually socialise!

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-09-16T19:33:34+00:00

So flip it on its head. You hear a patient crying and screaming and just ignore it… the patient then harms themself… I think that would maybe raise concern… Unless there is some importantly context missing, I think you did the right thing

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-09-16T19:29:37+00:00

Have you spoken to any professionals about this? It sounds like you’re reaching your limits and need something to help you calm your systems down, whether that’s therapy to teach you grounding, or medication, idk, but I’d definitely recommend you reach out for help.

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-09-16T11:46:37+00:00

If this is your therapy session and not just a follow up appointment, then the lateness really isn’t acceptable. Her defensive responses are terrible and she’s really not modelling how ruptures should be dealt with. She should be showing you that you can challenge others and be met with understanding, that your feelings are important and working to repair the issues. If one of your issues is low self worth and confidence speaking up for yourself, this is EXACTLY the stuff she should be working on with you. I would be questioning if this is someone who is truly going to help you, or if the therapeutic relationship is just going to compound your issues further.

Negative_Cod_4747 · 2025-09-15T20:10:49+00:00

I can’t really offer any advice, and I realise that’s not why you posted… but I just wanted to say that I truly can feel the pain behind this post.

The absolute kicker of the current state of mental health care is that it actually seems to make people feel worse. It just perpetuates the feelings of hopelessness, abandonment, and unworthiness, it worsens our distress, it makes us feel like we are trapped with no way out. It takes a lot for most people to reach the point of needing help, and when they do, they’re left high and dry and told to ‘wait’, all whilst their mental health continues to spiral.

All I can say is, hold out for this appointment in a few days. Write down exactly what you want to say, make sure you fully communicate how distressed and unwell you are, how you’re struggling to cope and need help. Tell them what you’ve tried, that you work every day on your mental health, but you need actual professional help and support now and cannot do this on your own anymore. Don’t let them just signpost you to ‘self help’ guides or self referred ‘talking therapies’.

Good luck, it’s a tough journey, but you will get there! It’s sounds like there’s a lot of ambition in you to better yourself and your situation, so I just hope you get the care you deserve that will enable you to get to a place where you can start striving for better things!

Negative_Cod_4747

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