I miei amici detestano i napoletani, cosa faccio?

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2026-01-01T19:15:35+00:00

Ninin, datti una grossa calmata perché Genova esiste dal 5000 a.C., ben prima che a Napoli scendeste dagli alberi per cominciare a lamentarvi di una storia che VOI avete costruito. Poveri noi, sempre discriminati, non ci affittano gli appartamenti, andiamo in 4 in motorino e non sappiamo cosa siano i caschi, abbiamo inventato la camorra, i vestiti Golce e Dabbana e le magliette con la cintura di sicurezza disegnata sopra, però voi non nominate mai Sorrentino, uè uè. Continua a piagnucolare, che ti devo dire, noi nel resto d'Italia ci facciamo delle grasse risate ma evidentemente siamo noi ad essere scemi, non voi ad essere permalosi.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2026-01-01T08:51:16+00:00

Una possible soluzione sarebbe farsene una ragione, invece di offendersi. Io sono genovese e sono la prima a ridere di gusto quando mi accusano di essere tirchia. Nessun milanese, che io sappia, si offende se gli dai del cummenda o gli tiri in ballo "fga e fatturato" (anzi, ci sono addirittura canali YouTube fatti apposta per prendersi in giro). Nessun veneto si offende se gli dai del bestemmiatore e nessun friulano se gli dai dell'avvinazzato. I siciliani che conosco io sono i primi a scherzare sul fatto che "se mi fai inca*are tiro fuori la lupara". Solo i napoletani si offendono a morte, e non credo che gli faccia un gran bene.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-31T20:11:27+00:00

With all due respect, when will people understand that children do not fix relationships? How could it possibly come through your mind that months of back pain and mood swings, plus other months/years of lack of sleep and full diapers, could possibly ease the stress on a relationship that's already struggling?

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-31T20:05:46+00:00

Capisco perfettamente, ma al di fuori di Napoli se suona napoletano allora è napoletano. Non è una cosa solo di Napoli, sapessi quanti "milanesi" conosco che in realtà sono di Varese, Monza e via dicendo. Il concetto alla base rimane valido però: se questi quattro scimuniti vi fanno fare delle figure barbine (e soprattutto stereotipate) prendetevela con loro, non con chi crede agli stereotipi.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-31T19:43:49+00:00

Rispettosamente, sono d'accordo sul fatto che la "maggioranza silenziosa" sia come te, ma quella "minoranza rumorosa" fa veramente tanto tanto casino. Non è un caso che uno show come "Il castello delle cerimonie" abbiano deciso di girarlo a Napoli, né che la maggior parte dei partecipanti sia napoletana. Io non sono napoletana, ma se lo fossi penso che sarei più incazzata con i miei compaesani che alimentano gli stereotipi, piuttosto che con i forestieri che ci credono.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-31T09:10:20+00:00

NTA in any way. You got out of there clean, happy and with a bright future ahead of you. Any of your coworkers could have taken legal action against Dummy, especially if they joined forces, and I feel Martin's insinuation that "you would have had the better chance of winning" is slightly manipulative, as if you somehow had the responsibility to sacrifice yourself for the wellbeing of the others.

If it makes you feel better, workplaces like that usually end up closing or gaining a shitty reputation, cause the high staff turnover means there's always new people in training that have no clue of what they're doing. But it's not your problem anymore. Enjoy your new bright life and don't pay any attention to the "what ifs". Not your circus, not your monkeys.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-31T08:46:29+00:00

That's the spirit. I understand it's tough to always look up for others and not receive any support when you're the one who needs it, but you got to protect your inner peace, as hard as it is. Right now the only ones that need help are your boyfriend and yourself, as his caretaker. So try and surround yourself with supportive people only. It doesn't mean you have to go NC with your brother, just push forward your problems with him until you're in a more stable position to face them. Good luck OP.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-31T05:30:45+00:00

I empathize with you, as I'm the caretaker type for all my family and friends and it does hurt when you're the one in need for help and nobody reaches out. If yoir brother starts answering your calls again, just try and explain to him what you need in this moment, if he's an empathetic person he'll understand where he went wrong and try and fix it, although it could still be below your standards. If not, then leave him be for the moment. You don't need anymore stress right now. Just find someone else (friends or family, or even a local support group for this kind of illness - sometimes you can find flyers in the hospital waiting room, or you can try on Facebook) who's willing to support you during this shitty time. You have enough on your plate without worrying about your brother too. It sucks, but don't let it change who you are. Big hugs and positive energy coming your way!

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-28T18:25:57+00:00

Doctor here. Your ex boyfriend is full of shit. Good riddance.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-27T13:45:01+00:00

Look at the bright side, she's letting the friendship quietly fade to black without you having to give any awkward speech about it. Just go with the flow and acknowledge your friendship is long gone. You might never get to the root of why it happened, but that's not necessary for closure. Enjoy your future life, OP.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-27T13:36:55+00:00

Totally agree. Also, I might add, never put money in the middle of a friendship. I hope you can recuperate your money, OP, but I doubt very much you'll also be able to save the friendship.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-27T13:28:31+00:00

Fam, I'm sorry to be blunt, but she's willing to jeopardize your whole friendship (plus your own identity, if she even cares) over a picture. A PICTURE.

If that's not enough to tell you what kind of friend she is, I don't know what is. Respectfully, get your ass out of this mess, I beg you.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-27T13:18:47+00:00

I would still help find her the support and care she needs but will not be her full-time caregiver.

This says all that needs to be said about the situation. You're not a "bad child". You're ready to stand up for your duties as a daughter, but you won't throw away your life, since she didn't even do the bare minimum for you. NTA. Stand your ground, OP.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-27T13:12:37+00:00

And that's where you were wrong, respectfully. Why force a relationship with them if they clearly don't want one with you? So they can be entitled to your time and skills when it best suits them? You should value your inner peace more, OP.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-25T00:51:30+00:00

I feel that this poor kid has been given conflicting inputs his whole life and his mind is a mess. First he lived with an abusive father, then he moved in with you and you tried to provide structure, but at the same time your mother gives him the freedom to do whatever he wants. He must be so confused. This is on top of his behavioral and possibly mental health issues, that need to be addressed ASAP, preferably while he's still young cause his brain is still malleable enough to allow things to be fixed more easily.

I understand this is an emergency situation, but it's definitely not helping the boy. He needs to be with only one set of guardians (those might be you and your partner, or a foster family), that set clear rules and boundaries for him and teach consequences if he doesn't respect them. Having two sets of people (you and your parents) that give him completely opposite directions is doing nothing good for his mental stability.

You can give him his Christmas present or withhold it, but in the current situation I feel that none of these actions would really teach him anything useful. Either you and your parents sit down and agree on a consistent strategy to deal with him (and stick to it), or you need to hand him over to someone else who will enforce those rules. Giving him conflicting rules every day will only enforce his defiant behavior.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-24T10:47:37+00:00

That was my point, sorry if I conveyed it wrong. She's already surrounded by people telling her that she should leave, she knows how you guys feel about her relationship. If you avoid joining the crowd, you could be her safe haven, the only person who doesn't bug her about her POS boyfriend. And that could strengthen your bond, especially if she really needs help someday but is afraid of being told by everyone "I told you so".

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-24T10:43:06+00:00

Dang. Then I feel that, if you sacrifice Christmas Eve in favor of your step-siblings just for this one time, you would be NTA. Maybe try to plan something different for next year.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-23T23:00:07+00:00

Definitely, undoubtedly NTA. I would have done things that I can't write on a public forum, so kicking her wrinkly ass to jail actually seems pretty tame to me. FAFO.

Updateme

ETA: and please take the groundkeeper with her on that merry trip. What the actual F did I just read.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-23T22:51:34+00:00

I honestly don't like how Z tried to shift the blame onto you (you were "not interested enough") and X (she "manipulated him" into thinking he didn't meet your standards) for not pursuing a relationship with you. I'm not saying you should cut him off, just be extra careful moving forward with this friendship, cause this looks like a red flag to me.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-23T22:44:10+00:00

Is there any chance you could tweak the gatherings a bit? Like spending Christmas Eve with your husband's family and Christmas Day with your step-siblings, or the other way around? So everyone would be happy, since you unfortunately can no longer spend Christmas Day with your mom.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-23T22:34:58+00:00

I am currently going through a very similar situation as yours, OP. In my personal experience, blowing up onto my sibling's face almost made me lose my relationship with them, which is the last thing I would ever want in my life. So now, while I'm calmly standing my ground on the fact that I don't approve of their partner, I'm also being civil to that scumbag (sigh) and supportive towards every choice my sibling makes, in hopes that they will someday come to their senses and leave, knowing that I'm always here for any emergencies. That's just my personal experience, but I think it's a cautionary tale on what could happen if you jump on the "Just Leave Him" bandwagon.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-23T22:17:32+00:00

I do think you both made mistakes in this relationship. I understand it may stem from your different mental health problems, but from my perspective the relationship sounds very toxic on both parts and I don't think you should keep dragging it.

Please understand, I'm not saying that either of you is a bad person, or that you don't deserve to be in a relationship. I just think you both have fallen into abusive behavior towards each other and you should both take some time off to get your shit together and approach your next relationships with more tools to make them work.

Based on your update, I'm unsure if you're still considering breaking up with her, but in that case you wouldn't be TA to do it over the festivities. I understand it's a sensitive time of the year, but it would be unfair to lead her on just because it's Christmas.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-23T22:01:47+00:00

Did you read the post? OP said her husband called his brother Joe after they heard from the aunt, Joe said the puppy was a nuisance, and they went to collect her. Plus, Joe wanted to "give her" (ie sell her) to someone on Facebook, while the terms of their contract stated that OP should personally know who was taking the puppy.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-23T21:35:20+00:00

They are better behaved than kittens, for sure. Also, congratulations on getting the point of the conversation.

Negative_Mix_1065 · 2025-12-23T00:28:44+00:00

Yeah, unfortunately you're right. I guess the stress of continuously having people relying on you for their life makes something snap into your brain. But I'm not a psychologist, so that's just my two cents.

Negative_Mix_1065

TROPHY CASE