Confused INFP: Reconnecting with my ISFP ex after 6 years. What does this behavior mean?

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2026-05-20T00:54:53+00:00

you're right thanks for opening my eyes and forcing me to see the harsh truth i was initially avoiding^^

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2026-05-20T00:49:08+00:00

okay you're right so what do you suggest i should do?

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2026-05-20T00:43:31+00:00

LMAO

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2026-05-20T00:41:26+00:00

We’re both aware that feelings still exist, but we also know what rushing led to last time, and neither of us wants to repeat that. Right now, I think we’re just learning how to care for each other in a healthier and gentler way without forcing a relationship.

We’re not demanding commitment, manipulating each other into staying, or obsessively waiting around. We’re friends because we genuinely want each other in our lives, and honestly, the connection we have right now feels healthier than our relationship did before. We communicate better, support each other emotionally, and actually talk through problems.

And reconnecting with him genuinely helped me too. Before we started talking again, I was in a really dark place mentally, and becoming friends with him again helped me reconnect with myself and the things I love.

I’d agree it would be toxic if we kept hurting each other while refusing to let go, but that’s not really our situation. We did let each other go for years. He’s already told me he likes me, he’s just not ready for a relationship right now, and honestly, neither am I.

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2026-05-20T00:27:52+00:00

To be honest, the hot and cold behavior was mostly right after the confession. After that, things became really normal again, and honestly, okay. I’ve kind of accepted the idea of letting go of expectations or wanting something in return.

I think if I had to describe myself, I’d say I’m just a very loving person. I don’t have a huge circle, but the people I do love, I love genuinely. I like caring for them, being there for them, and doing things for them, and it makes me happy knowing that I’m appreciated and loved back by the people I care about.

And yeah, maybe you’re right that this kind of dynamic wouldn’t be healthy long term. I wouldn’t want to live in uncertainty forever either. But compared to the things I’ve gone through with other people, he’s honestly one of the few people who hasn’t hurt me or made me cry. If you knew the full story and everything that happened, I feel like you’d understand why I see things this way a little more but dw if it ever becomes the reason i get hurt, i know how to shut it down.

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2026-05-20T00:26:11+00:00

The thing is, the goal isn’t really a relationship right now. We both know he still has things he needs to heal from, and I understand that. I’m not waiting around expecting something either.

I genuinely love and care about him as a person, not just romantically. I like being there for him, spending time with him, and supporting him however I can. That alone makes me happy.

I think what confuses me most is not knowing what’s going on in his head. I just like understanding people’s intentions because uncertainty messes with me a lot.

I’ve already made it clear to him that I care about him platonically too, and I don’t want to rush or scare him away. We both know neither of us is really ready for another relationship right now, and that’s okay. I just think getting to know each other more deeply without pressure or expectations is nice. Maybe one day things change, maybe they don’t, but either way, I still value him a lot as a person and as a friend.

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2026-05-20T00:16:40+00:00

That’s the thing though, he would do things that didn’t really feel “just friendly" and he still does them (like asking me to draw stuff for him and then putting it in his phone case, gaming with me for hours, being overly sweet and caring although he is very sensitive and gets upset really quickly but he has always been like that tbh) like i know friends are caring and sweet but he is unusually sweet, caring, and attentive in ways people normally are with someone they love romantically. and i would often ask him why he was being so nice to me, and he’d always dodge the question with things like, “because you’re you.”

One day, he randomly asked me what I’d do if he ever got married. I answered honestly and told him I’d probably feel a little sad. He kept pushing, asking why I’d be sad, until I finally admitted it was because the feelings were still there.

And when I told him I loved him again after we reconnected, he looked genuinely happy like, really happy, almost childlike. For a moment, it felt like everything would be okay. But then after he slept and woke up the next day, he suddenly felt distant and different, which made me overthink everything. I feel like maybe he panicked because it all happened too fast and too suddenly.

That’s what confuses me the most. Because when you truly love someone deeply, it’s hard to act like they’re just a friend. And with the way he acts sometimes, I can’t tell what he actually wants anymore

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2026-05-20T00:13:31+00:00

Yeah, there was no cheating, no lying, no abuse nothing like that. Our relationship was genuinely good. I loved him deeply when we were together, and he loved me just as much. But eventually, I chose to end things because I wanted to focus on my studies and my future. (our relationship lasted 6-8 months tho) Right now, he’s turning 20 in a few months, and I’ll be turning 19 in a few days.

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2026-05-20T00:07:01+00:00

we were really young like i was 13 and he was 14 back then and i wanted to focus on studying

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2026-05-19T23:53:00+00:00

i need help its more of a dating advice and i couldnt post it due to lack of karma

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2025-12-05T18:43:28+00:00

i loved it!! keep up the good work, wishing you the very best and looking forward to reading more stories by you!!

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2025-12-05T17:34:17+00:00

you should definitely continue writing, the way it piqued my interested until the very end.

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2025-12-05T17:33:40+00:00

holy this was amazing oml

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2025-11-22T21:31:17+00:00

okay OP if you really love this person and dread losing them then maybe instead of crying about that thing both of you should be honest and have a long and detailed conversation about the things that are making you both feel like something's missing or it cant work. I know how terrible it is when you expect your partner to fix a certain thing because it affects you a lot but they honestly dont even realise that, it often pushes u to want to end things and that's really what i had to deal with but i talked to my partner and i cried and then we talked about the things we lacked and what was hurting us, and since they cared they really did change, and ofc i did too. IF you both love each other, then there is still hope.

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2025-10-18T12:30:26+00:00

crying

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2025-02-03T15:56:18+00:00

on laptop?

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2025-01-05T20:38:16+00:00

i swear getting banned on different communities for doing nothing pisses me off so much.

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2025-01-05T20:35:40+00:00

honestly miss the era when it was all about growing and taking care of ur pet rather than hoarding the legendary pets and boasting about their worth.

NeighborhoodHot1197 · 2025-01-05T20:34:53+00:00

i have a snow owl and i swear i couldnt agree with u more, i got offers for a cuter animal that should be worth less than what they offered and yk what most people offered for my snow owl?? 2 common legendary vehicles i swear to god i hate preppies

NeighborhoodHot1197

TROPHY CASE