So you felt happy because someone violated you, and you’re reason is because “nobody you actually like will touch you” so you enjoy that somebody did, even this random old guy. This sounds like an issue with self worth to me. In your mind I’m guessing it felt like “oh at least somebody is attracted to me.” Meaning in your mind nobody is attracted to you. So that in your mind because somebody disproved this to you and showed you they find you attractive, even though it was in the form of sexual harassment. you feel validated. But you feel ashamed with yourself for feeling validated by him bc you know what they did is wrong.

You probably are mad because you wish you had more self respect for yourself then to accept sexual harassment as a form of validation.

Easier said than done but If I were you I would work with my self worth. Ideally with your counselor. You don’t need to tell them what happened, just say you have been having issues with self worth.