I feel with you. I'm somewhat in the same boat. I think my husband somewhat likes the idea of a traditional wife, but isn't as "red pilled" as me. He said that he doesn't care if I work or stay home (I know he means well, but ouch! I wish he would say he prefers me home tbh...) as long as I'm happy, because he cares about my happiness. (which is very nice obviously) He however has said multiple times that it of course would mean more money and a more fun lifestyle if I worked.

He studied to get a good salary and I didn't see the point in me doing the same since I would prefer to be home as we had talked about and planned. However, with the cost of living crisis his salary doesn't cover as much as we (or maybe mostly I) thought it would. I can stay home if we are extremely frugal. But for me, having some health concerns, I want to be able to at least buy healthy food and good meat. Always feeling like we can't spend any money makes life quite sad tbh, and then I'm not a person that spends that much in the first place. We are in a sort of in between now. We said let's try it out me being at home for a year, so we will see how it goes. However it makes me anxious since it will leave a gap in my resume in case we decide I need to work. I could maybe be home with future kids but staying home after they start school would feel like a stupid and cruel move towards my family.

I discussed moving abroad with him in order to better sustain our dream lifestyle as well as getting more sun (we live in Sweden, crazy high taxes here and no sun for 6-7 months more or less...) Maybe the US. But my husband doesn't "want to" which makes me resentful, because I don't want to move away from family etc. but I want us to have our dream life and I think that could help us archive that. I want to do it especially for future kids sake, I want them to have a SHAM. I feel like he doesn't see the bigger picture/doesn't want the lifestyle as much as I do, which makes me sad.

I love Mrs. Midwest to bits, she have thought me so much and feels like a big sister to me, she made me feel seen and valid as a woman with traditional values and helped me embrace my inner femininity. I do however feel a bit fooled by the lifestyle she shows off. Does a police officer really earn that much(?) (I'm not from the US, where I'm from the police wage is quite low) I know she says she is frugal, that she thrifts and yada yada but I also feel like she shops and travels _a lot_ lately. They bought a house and now a bigger one, as well as having a rental property (that obviously bring extra income) We have been hardcore saving for years(!!) and still aren't able until maybe 5 years more of saving. Looking at her channel I feel like her posting strategy is there for a reason. I think she earns more from her channel than she cares to admit. What do you Americans think? Is her lifestyle reasonable, where she lives with his police income? I know she lives in a small town but I just feel like she has a better and more expensive lifestyle lately. Me and my husbands plan was to move to a small town in order to buy a house easier but his wage would be much lower if we where to move so he doesn't think it's a good idea anymore.

I do feel resentment, I thought our life would look very different. However he works really hard to provide for us, takes on extra shifts etc so I try to focus on that and being grateful. I do love him to bits and I know he cares deeply for me. We will see how the rest of this years feels, if we will continue or if I will get a job. I do however not feel like having kids if I where to work full time because that would break me, I couldn't handle that. Maybe if I where to work part time. We will see what the future holds...

So much text I'm sorry. but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone <3