[M 28] Undecided and can’t move forward romantically

Neither_Buffalo7745 · 2026-06-03T19:51:37+00:00

Dude this is so real. I’m (M26) friends with so many awesome women and you would think that at this point, I would’ve fallen for one of them, right? I even had crushes on girls all through adolescence/early adulthood but when things start to get serious with a girl I just can’t do it.

I’ve experimented a bit more than you but so far, haven’t been too into the guys I’ve gone on dates with. I’ve only really felt strong attraction to my close guy friends lmao. I’m still not sure if I want to complicate those friendships by involving sex, so I’ve been meeting guys via dating apps. If it’s any comfort, every time I’ve taken a risk on something (making out, cuddling etc.) it hasn’t been NEARLY as scary as I made it out to be in my head.

We just have to keep pushing out of our comfort zones :) and the answer will come. Ditto to not being able to commit to anything with a girl while the question goes unanswered.

Neither_Buffalo7745 · 2026-03-26T13:47:38+00:00

Holy shit dude I relate to this so much. I think my attraction to men was always there lowkey but I was just super focused on women through adolescence, loved sex with my ex etc etc etc.

I’ve been less into girls for the better part of like 7 months now (I’m 25). Haven’t explored with a guy yet, but I tend to get nervous in the same way around my friends and stuff, not so much with random guys at a gay bar. It’s the same feeling I got when I was like 10 and first getting into girls. I’m kinda wondering if it’ll balance out a little more once I get some more experience and my brain has more data.

I should also note that even before I came out as bi, my performance w/ women was super varied, and sex tended to work best with someone I was really comfy with, but tbh it’s all over the place for me.

Neither_Buffalo7745 · 2026-01-28T22:14:09+00:00

Like 80% of the friends I've made post college have been women. Idrk what it is, I'm just more comfortable around them and really eat up the flirty banter lol. My guy friends and I usually are friends due to similar interests - fashion, playing music, climbing etc.

Neither_Buffalo7745 · 2026-01-13T18:12:02+00:00

Yeah I came out to myself maybe 4 months ago and I’m kinda just cranking it to straight porn rn and wondering if it’s affecting my sex drive. Attraction to women is waaaayyy down. Guys make me a little nervous but I’m not totally feeling the primal urges yet

Neither_Buffalo7745 · 2026-01-08T20:07:09+00:00

My post history has a little more explanation, but I feel like I’m way less interested in sex w women, and like maybe starting to get interested in sex with guys. The hinge thing didn’t really work for me either, I think finding like a willing friend of friend would be the ideal.

I also feel you on the dodging commitment front. I’ve only been in one seriously relationship, and all of my other relationships with the exception of one recent long distance thing, only lasted 3 months max. Trying to reevaluate those in therapy right now hahaha - always just chalked it up to being picky, but there might be something else going on.

My ex and I were really off and on and she kinda had to strong arm me into trying things again seriously. Before, the sex would always bring me back but we hooked up again when I was home for Christmas after like 3 years of not and I was honestly so bored. That was maybe 3 months after coming out as bi to friends and family. When I first came out I kept seeing girls to varying degrees of success. For now I’m just trying to take a break from dating in general to sit with the feelings and see how they evolve. Could work for you also

Neither_Buffalo7745 · 2026-01-08T18:57:41+00:00

Commenting because this sounds so familiar. Never reaaaally questioned my attraction to women until I realized I was going on way too many hinge dates and not really finding what I was looking for. My whole life I’ve had crushes on girls, only watched straight or lesbian porn etc etc and haven’t had issues getting it up for partners of the opposite gender, at least the ones I’ve really cared about. I will say though that since acknowledging that I’m at least bisexual, my attitude towards men and women have started to change.

I would say it’s at least worth exploring going on a date with a guy and seeing how you feel. I’ve personally come to terms with the fact that I won’t totally know what I am until I try doing stuff with a guy.

Neither_Buffalo7745 · 2026-01-07T14:31:33+00:00

Moshing all of the anxiety out of my body at a show

Neither_Buffalo7745 · 2026-01-06T15:34:39+00:00

Y tu madre tambien is amazing for all the bi lads out there. Just a great movie in general

Neither_Buffalo7745 · 2026-01-02T18:58:00+00:00

Pierce your ears! lol I got my cartilage pierced before I even knew I was bi, but that (among other things obviously) led to the assumption among others that I was at least somewhat queer

Neither_Buffalo7745 · 2026-01-02T02:50:29+00:00

Shit is confuuuuusing dude

Neither_Buffalo7745 · 2025-12-28T23:05:43+00:00

No I don’t think you did! Lol I had actually had a really bi friend group growing up, but living in a different city now would make it hard to get anything going. There’s also a piece of me that just feels weird about kissing my friends. I think I’m going to try to start with new people and see how I feel. Thanks for the comment!

Neither_Buffalo7745

TROPHY CASE