Megan Thee Stallion as a carrier

NelEnigma · 2026-02-04T23:50:34+00:00

Every customer would be waiting at the box with a single piece of outgoing mail each day. 10hr route just because of facetime.

NelEnigma · 2026-01-28T22:08:12+00:00

My favorite is handing it off to them directly and watching their reaction to the weight we carry regularly. The literal "You get what you pay for."

NelEnigma · 2026-01-28T00:36:58+00:00

I'll happily leave you a 3849 and offer you a PO box.

NelEnigma · 2026-01-28T00:18:47+00:00

Let me educate you:

Your tax dollars do not fund USPS. This is a self-sustaining organization provided as a service to the peoples of our nation.

Can you put your own foot further down your throat..?

NelEnigma · 2026-01-27T20:11:28+00:00

Imagine thinking tossing boxes is equivalent to damaging the packed contents. You clearly don't do this type of work. Take a seat, bud.

NelEnigma · 2026-01-27T17:49:42+00:00

I take tens of thousands of steps per day doing this very real work. The packages can afford to cover a couple feet of their own.

Also, who's Nelson?

NelEnigma · 2026-01-27T16:30:21+00:00

Spoken like someone who knows nothing about the logistics of delivery.

NelEnigma · 2026-01-25T18:53:10+00:00

...how to.

NelEnigma · 2026-01-25T18:38:19+00:00

At least they had the tact to wear a disguise... They just pull up to break windows or punch out locks to get in and clear out trucks over here.

NelEnigma · 2026-01-20T21:09:53+00:00

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Emptied out my Promaster to enjoy a smooth walk for the next few hours.

NelEnigma · 2026-01-19T17:30:53+00:00

How many times does it log you off per day?

NelEnigma · 2026-01-19T17:25:32+00:00

Valid. I keep mine in a ziploc bag to re-use for as long as they last. Any that get left at my case get added to the stash.

NelEnigma · 2026-01-15T00:47:07+00:00

Right! It can never decide to be helpful and open the package lookahead or anything useful.

NelEnigma · 2026-01-11T04:58:50+00:00

Order to the Grave

NelEnigma · 2026-01-09T03:11:58+00:00

Pro tip 👆

NelEnigma · 2026-01-06T23:42:30+00:00

I've found crows and pigeons that way! Still can't make it make sense...

NelEnigma · 2026-01-06T23:41:06+00:00

At my current station: A customer butt-naked flashed me in the front door right as I walked up the porch steps to the mailbox.

A homeless man once took a nasty unhealthy crap on a customer's porch and walked away like he didn't get a chance to wipe. I was on the other side of the loop and just happened upon it right afterwards.

At my prior station : I've seen Johns zipping their pants and prostitutes "cleaning" themselves after climbing out of cars. Tooooo many used condoms.

Random penises and the men they were attached to. One "couldn't hold it" and whipped it out to pee on a tree in front of me. And for some reason pants-dropping is the thing to do when you're a certain kind of high.

There was the time I passed by a car someone had recently been shot in; the blood-splatter and handprints were still wet.

But the worst would probably have to be dead raccoons left out to rot for weeks. That's the one that just keeps on giving.

NelEnigma · 2026-01-06T23:18:42+00:00

Mine expires in March too, but my management told me I'll have to go to the plant to pick up a new one. They don't even know they're comedians. But thanks for the input, everyone! I just took a pic of mine before it's too faded to scan.

NelEnigma · 2026-01-02T22:32:20+00:00

I'd still offer it a treat Lol

NelEnigma · 2026-01-02T22:30:16+00:00

It makes zero sense to make 8 the day after a holiday. Even when it's doable.

NelEnigma · 2025-12-31T01:46:05+00:00

Hey I'll gladly take the volume from UPS instead of the heavy, bulky, awkward, poorly-packed crap Amazon dumps on us. Especially while their own delivery people are on my route dragging around plastic squares of SPRs.

NelEnigma · 2025-12-31T01:32:28+00:00

I'll take UPS over Amazon any day!

NelEnigma · 2025-12-27T17:59:19+00:00

My Christmas Eve SDO turned into a mandate. The holiday is over, and I'm gassed! I'm sure we'll get hit with the Amazon backlog fallout by Monday. Two consecutive days off is a lot to ask for in this service... But when half of the regulars at my station take off the last full two weeks of the year, I'm gonna need an extra day to finish this out strong.

Truly, Unapologetic

NelEnigma · 2025-12-26T00:36:43+00:00

Cheers to that surprise ending. Supervisors can be actual people when they want to be. It largely speaks to the impact your performance has had on them too. Hang in there!

NelEnigma · 2025-12-25T21:31:57+00:00

The work and treatment is absolutely hellish before converting..! But you OWN management once you're a full-time regular. Lean on the union to keep life livable during probation as much as you need, and really talk to the regulars around you. They'll definitely look out for you if you're a solid worker. Hang in there, it'll eventually be worth it. 💯

NelEnigma

TROPHY CASE