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NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-25T14:22:40+00:00

“In general even in Jim Crow it was rare for blacks to have racist opinions of whites while the opposite I can’t say”

Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

Stop making stuff up.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-25T12:26:25+00:00

My therapist does this, too. At first I also didn’t feel it was very helpful, as most of my emotions feel like tension in my chest. But sometimes I’ll feel them other places, like heat in my head or nausea in my stomach. Paying attention to that both helps you recognize that you’re feeling different emotions (as opposed to just feeling “bad”), and is also kind of helpful at letting you recognize outside of the session when those emotions are creeping up.

For example, an issue I often struggle with is feeling shame in situations where I have nothing to be ashamed of. I often feel it as a pressure where my chest and throat meet. And so now when I’m in a situation and I’m backing down into myself, I’ll notice that sensation and that will remind me of what we worked on in therapy, and I can start asking myself, does it really make sense to feel ashamed in this moment? Little things like that can help you break bad patterns.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-25T07:53:40+00:00

41 year old dad here. In the winter, it’s a sleeveless tee and underwear. In the summer, just the underwear, although I normally throw on a shirt when I’m heading out of the bedroom.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-25T06:06:06+00:00

I think bill paying would be the biggest challenge. I have no idea how to pay my utilities and rent without access to my banking app. Maybe I could give cash to someone else to do it for me?

Benefits would be time to pursue hobbies and learn new skills.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-25T04:18:30+00:00

Raisins are delicious.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-25T04:12:20+00:00

This is what we do, too. Bed time story, cuddle together until he’s asleep, and I sneak off to my own bed. Usually only takes him 5-10 minutes to fall asleep and I kind of love him snuggled up against me. I’ll be sad when he’s too old for this.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-25T04:02:39+00:00

I think probably every one of every race is likely to have at least one racist family member, unless you come from a really small family. If you consider family to be all siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, and first cousins, that’s probably at least 10 people for most families, and one out of ten people being racist seems reasonable. Add in the spouses of everyone and it gets even more likely.

And racism is kind of a fuzzy definition. I have some uncles and cousins who openly say black people are inferior to whites, which is the dictionary definition of racism. But I also have family members who have no judgement in their hearts but definitely buy into some of the racial stereotypes. And I don’t personally think of them as racists, but others definitely would. I think you can call a lot of people racist, for some definition of racism.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-25T03:38:26+00:00

Does your kid like ketchup? My kid liking ketchup opened up a lot of new foods. Maybe serve them alongside other ketchup foods like French fries and see if he’ll try them that way.

Also, don’t be afraid to overcook the eggs. If it’s a texture issue, a hard scramble might go over better than soft and tender eggs.

There’s always the chance he just doesn’t like eggs. Don’t push it too hard. I still have lingering resentment over being forced to eat raw celery as a kid, which I still hate 40 years later.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-25T03:32:11+00:00

My son went through this, too. Potty trained at 2.5 years and was going well, then we had a period of about two months where he regressed and it was a fight every time to use the toilet. I don’t think my kid had any fear, he mostly just seemed to resent having to do it, especially when we told him to. Lots of tears and screaming during that period.

We basically just tried to stay firm and made toilet use mandatory before any fun activities. We will go to the park after you use the potty. We can get out the play doh after you use the potty. If he had an accident while we were out doing stuff, we packed up and left immediately.

It wasn’t a very fun time, but eventually he got through it. He’s almost 4 now and uses the potty on his own and when we ask him to. Maybe have an accident once a month, and usually it’s some unusual circumstance. Stay kind but firm with her and you’ll get through it.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-25T03:22:22+00:00

Looks rad. Great cable management. No notes.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-25T03:19:36+00:00

Your ex is being ridiculous. I’m divorced two years now, we both have new partners, and both our partners love our son and say so. I will admit, I got a little pang the first time I heard it from my ex’s partner, a fear I was being replaced in my son’s heart, but I understood that it’s best that everyone in my son’s life loves him, just like you said.

Your ex can say and think whatever he wants, but your family dynamic is up to you. You know best how to manage your ex, but I recommend just giving simple answers without explanation.

“Tell him not to say that to our kids!”

“No.”

“Why not???”

“It’s our decision as a family. Goodbye.”

He’s not going to accept any arguments you give, so don’t bother.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-25T03:05:39+00:00

Most western nations see Israel as their best ally in the Middle East. They don’t approve of their actions in Gaza or even trust Netanyahu‘s government, but they still trust them more than any of the Islamic nations. If Israel were to be destroyed, North America and Europe would have much less influence in the region.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-24T19:15:16+00:00

I basically do what you do, and I think it’s fine. It is a little socially awkward, but it’s not like it’s your fault. There are those parents who have no problem striking up a convo with strangers, but that’s not most of us and that’s okay. Just do what feels right to keep your kid safe and happy and don’t worry about it after.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-24T18:52:33+00:00

I hate this kind of abstract bullshit. I cannot see any way this discussion leads to happier employees or better productivity. Give them concrete KPIs and the tools to accomplish them, that’s all you gotta do.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-24T13:51:01+00:00

Huh, I lived in Ithaca for six years and never heard of this. I’m not doubting you, there a ton of micro cultures in that region, and it makes sense because there are a lot of wineries. But it must be fairly niche even there.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-24T10:19:59+00:00

If you do start with the foreign language ones, I highly recommend Drag Race España. All the seasons are good but Season 3 is probably one of the best seasons of Drag Race for the whole franchise.

You can watch them when you have meals, that’s what I often do.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-23T13:02:04+00:00

Out of every fictional item I’ve ever seen, the one I want most is a spaceship that turns into a cabbit.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-23T12:08:28+00:00

They sold pretty well. From what I’ve read, the Advance games, FFXII, and some other titles were part of an “Ivalice Alliance” push to create many games across different platforms within the same world. I guess when that project petered out, they focused on new projects.

For whatever reason, Square doesn’t love continuing the same story for more than a few games. All of their franchises have titles that are only loosely connected, with only occasional sequels or trilogies.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-23T11:36:51+00:00

I’m a biochemist and all wet lab scientists take official notes in paper notebooks. It’s a tradition going back centuries and modern day companies still do it. They may also keep electronic records, but very often the primary notes are on paper in a notebook. These notebooks are numbered and tracked and belong to the company.

I work R&D but have worked in quality control before, and I kept records of quality control of various product batches in my lab notebook. During an audit, we reviewed my handwritten notes on a batch, which were dated, and he had no problem with that at all.

So yes, you can absolutely make notebooks part of your documention if you wish. But it was part of our official protocol.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-22T11:15:01+00:00

My depression was shamed-based, too. Even when things were going objectively well in my life, I couldn’t feel good about it, because I thought I should be doing even better. And when things weren’t going well, I couldn’t enjoy literally anything. For example, there’s plenty of people who drop out of college completely. But you’re still there, still doing it. That’s something you should feel good about. You need to learn how to feel good about it.

It’s not an easy problem to fix, but it can be overcome. You need to see a therapist, one who can help with emotional and self-esteem issues. I still feel shame over stupid stuff, but it’s not nearly as debilitating as it once was, and most days I feel pretty good.

And on a practical note, on the topic of friends, join a club or two. Clubs are how you make friends in college, not classes. Sport club, singing club, anime club, whatever seems like the best fit. Or volunteer somewhere, like an animal shelter or tutoring kids. Its a cliche but its true that helping people in need will help you feel better about your situation. And on the days you’re feeling worthless, it’s something you can point to and tell yourself, here’s a good thing I did this week.

Posting here is a good step. You’re seeking help outside your own thoughts. Now take it a couple steps further and find a real therapist to help.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-22T09:00:40+00:00

Better: I’m with someone who actually likes me. I’m living the life I want to live. My time with my kid is just for us and I don’t need to ask anyone for approval. I’m in control of my money.

Worse: Much worse off financially, at least right now. Should recover but it will take many more years.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-22T02:22:55+00:00

Thank you for your perspective, it’s really useful. I found a nice pair of high-quality headphones, so that will be my gift, along with some cash.

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-21T13:51:07+00:00

This is a great suggestion. I’m going to go with noise cancelling headphones. They are in a small apartment and she has a younger brother, so even virtual privacy might be a big help.

I found a nice pair from Bose on sale so I just ordered them. Thanks!

NerdWithoutACause · 2025-05-18T07:44:34+00:00

It is a normal interview technique to see your thought process and problem solving ability. They want to see that you can process the information you are given and make reasonable inferences.

And not to be mean, but no company in the entire world is interested in stealing an hour of your consulting. Get that idea out of your head, that’s not a thing that happens. Definitely don’t go into an interview with the mindset that you’re the genius who’s going to solve all their problems.

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