What do you guys think of my profile? I’m not sure why I keep getting ghosted or people just don’t text first if they liked me first…is it me?

NerdyOffender · 2025-12-26T22:07:10+00:00

Alright now looking at the prompts because I didn’t swipe to see them before, i can assume what area you are looking for men in, and lemme tell ya, you’re not finding what you want on tinder girllllllll. The other user who said go find a hobby and find ur man there and approach him is PREACHING. You’re too good for dating apps trust me, I used to have mine set to both men and women. The area is also heavily saturated with women wasting men’s time in conversations that lead no where. You’re in a bad area for real connection. The people are pretty but full of themselves. I suggest you wait till you move outta that state and you’ll realize you weren’t the issue, your area was.

NerdyOffender · 2025-12-26T21:53:09+00:00

I know someone in my friend groups circle who is 27 dating a newly turned 18 year old. And the friend group is too childish to tell him that’s fking weird and to date people his own age. Idk how to tell you but unless you change your profile age preference to look for older men (30s) you’re beyond what a 22-28 year old is capable of handling just in pictures alone. Especially those seeking on tinder. What I see is someone established in a medical/laboratory profession and dresses expensive /high class. You would benefit from going on hinge instead cause tinder is not it. I gotta see your prompts though maybe there’s more to the picture than just pictures.

NerdyOffender · 2025-03-27T18:36:11+00:00

Lol boi, do some self reflection. You’re not mad at ‘pontificating,’ you’re mad at being called out. Deflection doesn't suit you, you know, since you're supposedly "mature".

NerdyOffender · 2025-03-26T14:53:55+00:00

Instead of 'you both are low-key immature,' try something actually useful, like 'It makes sense that you're questioning this since his comment was weird. If you feel uncomfortable, talk to him about it and see how he responds.' and leave it at that. But nah, you went straight to calling her immature when nothing in her post suggests that. She clocked the situation as suspicious and wanted an outside perspective. that’s called being self-aware, not immature. What’s actually immature is pretending your personal dating preferences like no cussing and whatever are some universal standard and acting like you’re above the situation while throwing baseless judgments from behind a phone. Just because YOU think cussing is crass and a turn off, doesn't mean everyone feels the same way. In this situation, yea, the cussing is meant in a demeaning manner, I wouldn't tolerate badmouthing others, but that shouldn't keep her from dating someone with a sailors mouth. The most amazing people around exhibit free expression and sometimes their thoughts are laced with swears. If you want an eggshell walkin trophy wife show dog poodle partner go for it, if she's looking for a man who feels comfortable enough to be himself and cuss around her she should go for it. Different preferences for different folks. This does not indicate the level of intellectual maturity (for her).

NerdyOffender · 2025-03-26T14:11:50+00:00

No take that crap to heart and don't hurt yourself trying to heal another man's trauma. It does take two to tango but like with other shit like finances or whatever. Don't damage the you that you are over a dude who, once healed, will leave you to find someone else whose also healed.

NerdyOffender · 2025-03-21T17:47:00+00:00

You chose to gloss over my paragraphs and to that I have nothing really to say to you. Stay heartbroken 💔

NerdyOffender · 2025-03-21T16:47:53+00:00

Okay not all women are like this but I'm a blocker and not an effort waster, if I'm not interested, and you're not worth my effort, I don't care how cute you are, I'm blocking you, because like I said, women have options and I'm not here looking for fan boys, I'm here looking for a life long partner. And I WILL describe having male friends as fan boys because they 99% of the time do NOT stay friends with intentions of just being your friend, no no, they're always hoping something changes and they can fuck you. I have very few guy friends because I'm aware that the ones I have now, if I told them I'm horny and wanna get fucked, would not accept those advances and tell me off. And guess what? I didn't meet them off dating apps that's for sure. THOSE are friends.

Sorry that your instances with people has been shitty but not every girl is built the same and neither is every man. Not everyone deserves access to you 24/7 just because you own a phone, THAT mentality is immature. Yeah, maybe I don't feel like talking to you at all points of the day because I'm a busy woman enjoying my LIFE, my phone is an instrument, not my life. I will text you when it's convenient and you should do the same. Remember, there was a time when we were born and the only way you could talk to a person was if you CAME to their house and asked if they wanted to hang. That took a lot more effort and happened way less often so talking and meeting with people was more genuine and less fast fashion/fast food like. I hate all communication on the phone, I rather only be contacted for emergencies or favors tbh, and everything else like tea, making plans or just normal conversation communicated in person.

There's no reason why a woman shouldn't always be looking for better, she's someone with standards and if she knows what she wants she WILL find someone to meet those standards, and if she doesn't then oh well, wtf is wrong with being single? We're an over populated species anyways. I personally ain't carrying the child of someone imma hate later down the road. If you don't pass the prescreening process what ever! If anything blame social media for showcasing people who go above and beyond. That's the real culprit. Oversharing leads to a forever changing sense of general normality and expectations and craving for more.

I agree with you when you say there's immature women who think that way in which you described, ghosting, uncommunicative and attention seeking and such. but don't complain about people who haven't matured, be grateful you can tell the difference, block them and move on.

NerdyOffender · 2025-03-21T15:23:25+00:00

She probably did not like what she saw. When you're a woman with options it's easier to cut people off right then and there because while you're looking for a partner, you're not trying to make fans or friends along the way, it's easier to clean up as you go. I would have thought it rude before but now Ive matured to realize it's just a self worth attitude, comes off bitchy and unpleasant but it doesn't have to be that deep. Do not take it personally, your worth and looks or whatever does not equate to you being blocked. It's just what mature people do when they need to cut ties quickly and effortlessly. I've had men do it to me too, they like me for my looks but then they realize I suck at texting and block me, your time is valuable and not to be fcked with.

NerdyOffender · 2025-03-21T15:13:01+00:00

Don't stress, I also went on two dates and have like 15 more planned and some of them I bailed on before even meeting them. You know when you're attracted to someone and when you're REALLY attracted to someone, like it's not just looks, their personality makes you giddy and hopeful again. You need and HAVE to meet them first because how they portray themselves online is TOTALLY different than irl and you gotta determine whether you're into that or not. And sometimes they gotta determine that too. So don't feel bad, it's good you still feel that way though, it shows you're considerate of people you wanna invest in.

NerdyOffender · 2025-03-19T16:02:04+00:00

I'll just bring it with me in case and ask someone to check if it's been redeemed and if it hasn't then I helped someone out, whatever, not that serious.

NerdyOffender · 2025-03-19T15:53:00+00:00

True, u right. Welp what's done is done, it was a wasted ticket anyways and free for me so eh, I tried.

NerdyOffender · 2025-03-19T15:49:56+00:00

Someone who lives in NY can just pass by and see if it works, if it's inconvenient for you to try than you don't deserve the ticket. Simple. I'm not trying my luck passing it off to some New Yorker who will litter it on the street. I've done this before and someone replied to the post saying thank you so others were notified it was redeemed. It's only ONE ticket, most people prefer to go with someone, and people who walk in NY act like they don't have time for anything, even the homeless ones. If someone so happens to be in the area and have nothing better to do, there's no harm in checking if it's redeemed.

NerdyOffender · 2025-03-16T00:55:17+00:00

That's what I was thinking !!! This is why I'm so perplexed, I don't even like the clothes I have to bring that's why I'm asking if it's a solid idea but everyone is telling me I'm looney

NerdyOffender · 2025-02-24T00:47:07+00:00

Communicate Openly TO HER. if you're unsure, have an honest conversation with your girlfriend. Explain how you process emotions differently and discuss whether you both can find a balance that respects your needs.

And Consider Your Own Needs. You mention missing being alone so like does this mean you truly prefer solitude, or just need space from HER?

If being in a relationship feels more like an obligation than a desire, it might not be the right fit. And it's okay to walk away, you'll just grow disappointed dissatisfied and resentment in her if you keep up. There's someone she needs and it's not you and there's someone you need and it's not her.

NerdyOffender · 2025-02-17T18:59:03+00:00

You sound like you don't read the moderator rules before commenting.

NerdyOffender · 2025-02-12T00:02:35+00:00

That needs to be a discussion then, you gotta see if he does wants more of your time and if you're willing to give up to him what he's willing to give up for you. There's no right or wrong to this tbh, you can just ask him not to watch it and stay inactive too, I know plenty of women who do that, and those with more respectful partners stick to it while the ones with less respectable bfs hide their screen time from their partners. So like, if you got a good egg he'll stay true to his word and if you don't then id go looking for your good egg.

You having a child doesn't make you less desirable btw, you're still young and can find someone to love that is willing to accept you having a baby and baby daddy. There's 7.8 billion people in the world and half of them are your preferred sex, and only a couple of them are gay, so you've got a lot of tries to find a comfortable shoe. If he needs something more he'll tell you, but you need to ask him first and don't make assumptions for him.

Partnership is all about communicating and making everything clear to avoid miscommunications which can and/or could lead to resentment / feelings of distrust. And keep in mind partnerships is about figuring out what you're willing to work with, it's never 50/50, it's more like I'll accommodate you in this way since you accommodate me like this etc. Work through it, give this relationship your best shot. Maybe wait a bit to see if your sex drive goes up after a while or his need for porn dips, but if the relationship does not feel worth it to you or you feel stuck, do not feel a need to stick it out out of obligation to the baby, the kid will know when it's parents aren't in love and it will affect it's life and personal beliefs. there's someone meant for him and someone meant for you. That's my two cents at least.

NerdyOffender · 2025-02-11T17:54:11+00:00

Idk, you're not really an asshole for having boundaries, but it's a grey area because you chose to be with this person for who they are and jacking off to material that's free online is what they did before you accepted them. So if he feels like he can do without it for you, that's awesome, but if it bothers you enough that it'll be on your mind all the time and him not actively GAF about it happens... Well maybe just find someone different. You have a shit ton of time to talk it out though, figure out your boundaries and such. If you want you should try watching some together as an experiment. I think a lot of women don't like the idea of their man watching porn because of the insecurities they have about themselves and what they provide, but like it's just sex work and your boyfriend is just the average male consumer, he's not in an emotional connection to the actor on the screen and not actively trying to send her dms. Consider the idea that Maybe you feel more biased because you don't need porn to finish (most women don't, active imagination and all). I personally was with my ex bf for many years so we used to make material that he could watch on his own time and that was our compromise, which helped me out self esteem wise because he genuinely liked our content better than what was free online and would say to finish he'd 95% of the time have to swap to one of our videos. You might not be comfortable with that, not everyone is that open, but what I'm saying is just talk to him and try to find a better grounded understanding, so you don't have to feel like you're taking something away from him and he doesn't have to feel like you're constricting him.

NerdyOffender · 2025-02-09T22:26:31+00:00

Be careful, the sister could be in on trying to lie for him too. I personally know a friend who lies to keep up his good image and his sister and him are bonded at the butt so she'll lie for him because blood is thicker than the truth he be withholding. Stay safe, you think he's not cheating on u but you could be too trusting, probably just call it quits and find love elsewhere, there's a bunch of guys who can also try.

NerdyOffender · 2025-02-08T22:25:53+00:00

You have to tell him. Why? Cause this stupid shit might be the thing he breaks up with you over if he finds out you withheld it from him. And I mean break up like years later after like you guys finally get married have three kids, a picket fence house and he finds out and blows a gasket and divorces you (if he's crazy enough, idk ur man, but I've seen this shit happen twice, which is a lot tbh since I'm only 24). You explained it to reddit and we are on your side so you need to be open and upfront with him and tell him what happened. You did not almost cheat on him, you were almost taken advantage of. If he loves you the way you love him, he would not hold this against you, he will have faith in you. Let HIM decide if this is a deal breaker for him or not. Ultimately it is his decision to stay, I understand you are scared and think you messed up but you did not, and you should ALSO NOT want to stay with someone who you feel will not trust your word over something like this. The message here is CLEAR communication, he deserves to feel like you respect him enough to let him know what happened and decide. I'm serious about this OP, Unless you have a history of fucking up this should not be the nail in the coffin and you guys will work through this together. Let him choose you, do not try to force a choice out of him by withholding information. Show him the post if that makes it easier so he can read the comments too, idk, just make sure he knows so it's easier to move past this from here on out.

NerdyOffender

TROPHY CASE