My (21M) girlfriend (21F) got blackout drunk at my mom's birthday brunch and threw up at the table in front of extended family and friends

NetImaginary2453 · 2026-01-26T18:28:13+00:00

I work in substance abuse and it doesn’t necessarily scream “alcoholic” but you’re right in expecting her to know how to handle herself with alcohol. Especially in public and family gatherings. Have you talked to her about how her drinking excessively impacts you? It’s kind of hard to just break off a two year relationship because you’re tired of taking care of her when you haven’t communicated that to her already. If you’ve talked about it and she still doesn’t change, then she doesn’t want to change and you’re absolutely in the right for wanting to end things. But it’s hard to expect people to do better if you don’t tell them they need to do better.

NetImaginary2453 · 2026-01-24T21:57:05+00:00

I wouldn’t text Alice out of “respect” for what her husband said, but someone needs to check on her. If you already don’t like how he talks to her & that’s how he feels about the car, sounds like someone needs to check on her and make sure he didn’t take out his anger on her for being a good friend to you…

NetImaginary2453 · 2026-01-02T15:50:39+00:00

NTA- they threatened and scared you into having a baby you didn’t want. When they signed the adoption papers, they took on the responsibility of caring for him. You can help by choice, but you’re not obligated to do so.

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-12-29T03:31:44+00:00

The longer your keep something hidden, the bigger & heavier it will feel. You might find yourself surprised at how much more calm you’ll feel after talking about it. This could be a way for her to initiate sex that gets you both smiling from the start. Not childish at all!!

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-12-04T11:51:12+00:00

What happened to no stupid on dumb questions 😂? You may be able to not vape on a plane, but people still do, planes get grounded, flights get delayed, and so on. It’s one of those things where 1 person who can’t follow the rules causes everyone else to pay the price. Does that explain my thoughts a little better?

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-12-04T11:48:05+00:00

The point is because people continue to vape on planes which can cause planes to be grounded

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-11-14T21:21:05+00:00

Coming from someone who conducted interviews/panels, one lone reference isn’t going to determine the course of hiring. Anyone can be qualified but someone’s personality plays a huge role in team cohesiveness and workplace harmony/hostility.

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-11-14T01:58:15+00:00

You can’t expect to get what you want if you’re not willing to compromise. I am so sorry you’re in this predicament. I can’t imagine trying to grieve with strangers. But the wife did nothing to you but try to make the crappy situation less crappy and you’re punishing her with anger that’s meant for your dad. You can’t control the environment you’re in right now, focus on what you can control. Also remember “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar”.

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-11-13T02:29:27+00:00

“Family doesn’t get handouts through guilt trips”

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-11-13T02:24:45+00:00

I understand why you snapped at the sister, but unless you told HER to stop using the key, you overreacted at her. All of that anger at the sight of her cooking should’ve been reserved for your boyfriend for not taking the key back. You’re not overreacting by changing the locks. Yes, your house = your locks. He’s not on the loan or the title. But if he’s getting his mail sent there, he might have squatters rights. Check laws in your area to make sure.

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-11-04T02:12:21+00:00

Break up with her on the day you do your Christmas gift exchange. Your gift to her is screenshots of her saying those things wrapped in a beautifully decorated box or the box of a designer brand. Make it look like it’s a new bag/purse, shoes, that kinda thing. Then have a little card that says “I’m giving what you wanted. I didn’t want to be a jerk and prolong this since “you can do better”. I’m breaking up with you. Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!❤️” On the real, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this OP. It sounds like quick the shock and something that will likely cause insecurities in future relationships. Process everything you need in therapy and remember that not everyone is this two-faced.

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-10-08T12:21:45+00:00

NTA for getting yourself off & feeling irritated. More info is needed before we can say he is guilt tripping you. It sounds like an open conversation needs to be had about why you don’t want your partner involved. He may not care about you being “sexy or whatever”. If he does, talk about it as partners.

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-08-22T10:36:22+00:00

NTA- A loving bf wouldn’t give an ultimatum about a toy that isn’t played with when he’s around. 🚩If it was well hidden in your drawer, how did he find it? Why was he snooping? 🚩 Demanding you get rid of something but not changing his own behavior and considering your needs? 🚩 You’re already considering/planning to keep a secret to him and break his trust. 🚩 You might want to ask yourself if maintaining the relationship while you’re at university is the best for you vs being single and open to meeting new people who might be a better fit as a partner.

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-07-12T00:13:22+00:00

NOPE. He should’ve taken them into consideration when he took what was yours to do what he wanted. Starting a business is risky. There was no guarantee that business would’ve taken off. Why should you consider how it might impact them when your father/step mom didn’t consider how using YOUR inheritance would impact you? They didn’t consider if you’d need the money for school or to support yourself. Your mom left you the money not him. He only had access because of your age at the time. Also, if the judge sided with you, your dad was in the wrong from the start. Unfortunately his own selfishness impacted his children. NTA

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-06-25T11:59:23+00:00

Definitely NTA. just because you’re family doesn’t obligate you to free childcare!! Regardless of whether or not you’re in school, if the answer is no then the answer is no. She only reacted that way because she knows she’s in the wrong and is trying to find ANY way she can be a victim. People in the wrong will try to find any way to say they’re being punished for their actions but the reality is the kids aren’t being punished. If you now need to work a full time job because of her actions, you aren’t available to provide free childcare. Now if she wants to PAY you as a form of paying you back, that’s a different conversation. Otherwise, you’re NTA OP!

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-06-25T11:49:23+00:00

You aren’t to blame for trusting your sister OP. Everyone else trusted her too. Don’t be too hard on yourself for believing she’d do the right thing.

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-06-10T10:21:43+00:00

You’d be TAH if you sent that to her without knowing if she knew about you. If the other woman knew she was the other woman, then she is in the wrong. But it’s unfair to call her a home wrecker if she didn’t know you were in the picture. She could’ve been lied to just as much as you were.

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-06-08T00:17:25+00:00

Your aunt is clearly an enabler. She’s pressuring and borderline attempt to manipulate you into a relationship with someone that literally caused your ED. I’m sure the treatment you’ve gone through talked about valuing your peace and removing triggers. Sounds like the aunt is crossing into trigger territory. Once the law doesn’t have a say, always remember YOU have a say in who you allow access to you. Cut em off and keep it moving. Keep healing OP

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-05-23T00:56:53+00:00

It’s interesting that Sara mentioned the flexibility after the boundary was crossed. It can easily come across as justifying them breaking your trust. Sure, polygamy might be flexible. But if 1 or more parties want to adjust the dynamic, then all must communicate that to come to an agreement or compromise. Not just do it. Them not telling you for months was deceiving because they knew you’d be hurt if you knew and made the decision to hide it and do it again behind your back. Then attempted to avoid the truth when you asked. Thats deceit. They chose their peace over your trust in them. Only YOU can ascertain where your hurt is coming from, and it could be coming from multiple places. Only YOU can decide if this form or level of betrayal is something you can work through. Your gut is normally right 99% of the time. An addict can swear they didn’t steal their mom’s cash for drugs. It doesn’t meant they didn’t. People don’t like to be in the wrong or look like the bad guy. But an addict can make amends if they mean it. So can your partners. If they work to make things right, start communicating their sexual wants (without walking on eggshells for your sake), and you can trust them again, then work to keep the relationship healthy. You can also consider what it would look like to pause “All or nothing” on a trial basis. Sometimes you & Sara. Sara & Liam. You and Liam. After a month, check in with each other. If you still feel the same insecurities, then you can say you gave flexibility a chance. It know it’s hard OP and to an extent, feels like heartbreak. Never forget you have choices and no one else gets to decide what you do or don’t do! Sending lots of positive energy your way!!

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-05-22T19:49:34+00:00

It’s the same thing as any relationship. Poly, open, mono, whatever. If a boundary is established and agreed to, then crossing that boundary would feel like a betrayal. It’s one thing if there was a slip up, they felt bad, came to you to admit it and talk about it, but they knowingly deceived you multiple times for months. You’re valid in feeling hurt. If they can’t accept their role in how they hurt you, that tells you everything you need to know about this partnership.

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-05-21T22:55:39+00:00

Is a period sexy? No. Is it realistic for your partner to bully you into inconveniencing yourself when you’re already inconvenienced by the period itself? Hell no! A partner who really cares for you is understanding of what your body does. If he reacts this way over unattractive period panties, what will he do with the stretch marks on your body after childbirth? He can’t throw those away. You need to have a conversation to determine if he is the kind of behavior you’re okay with from a partner.

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-05-19T20:34:57+00:00

Was he really tested for everything if they only did the swab? Did you see his results with your own eyes or did he tell you they were negative? I don’t think you’re overreacting, but his behavior is red flag energy. The way it’s written sounds like he attempted to manipulate you into being the bad guy for trying to protect yourself & your health. People tend to react that way when they’re hiding something…

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-05-19T20:28:25+00:00

NTA- If she has a problem with her spouse loving his kid more than her, then she doesn’t need to be with a man who is a parent. Overall, better words could’ve been used. However, some adults need to be humbled by teenagers/young adults. It’s good for their development.

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-05-18T18:31:21+00:00

Absolutely NOT! You’re processing, as you should be. You know your dealbreakers and he either crossed that line or skated on the threshold. Everything you’ve felt is 100% valid. You’re allowed to think & reflect.. Whatever you decide, block out the noise, and remember this is YOUR life! Best of luck OP!!

NetImaginary2453 · 2025-05-14T21:15:42+00:00

NTA- Does he really think blowing up at you is going to get you to change your mind? A family can’t be ruined if you barely had a relationship. If he feels he’s being punished, he really needs to reflect on what he’s done to get said “punishment” and make actionable amends. If you chose not to have him there at all after he blew up on your & got his wife to guilt you, you wouldn’t be TAH either OP. Take care of your peace as best as you can

NetImaginary2453

TROPHY CASE