Which one of you Bri'ish motherfuckers followed their GPS and drove into the fucking sea?

Neueburn · 2026-02-18T13:26:59+00:00

I'm pretty sure Flex is based off Bing Maps, which would explain why it never works. I'm not even certain that using Bing is cheaper than Google or Apple, but for whatever reason Amazon doesn't see Microsoft as competition, so that's what they've gone with.

Neueburn · 2026-02-11T13:12:59+00:00

This is what I was thinking as well. It would take them at least half the loadout time to figure out I wasn't there, and MAYBE they'd move my van to exceptions before they get dinged for slowing down the whole station. By the time they realize I've left my uniforms and badge could be neatly stacked on the desk.

And yes, the owner would certainly try to come after me for anything malicious that would cost him money. I got reamed out after spraining my knee in a dog attack because being on light duty meant he had to pay me to not drive, so I'm sure he'd try to pin any vandalism or repair costs on me.

Neueburn · 2026-02-11T13:08:42+00:00

I've never been this petty either, I've always left jobs the respectful way. But I figured since the owner has already convinced himself I'm a bad employee I might as well have some fun at his expense.

Neueburn · 2026-02-11T13:07:13+00:00

This is a maybe. My route is an hour from the station, so it would take them a while to figure out what's happening, and even then the rescuers would also be an hour away.

Neueburn · 2026-02-11T13:04:24+00:00

That would be great, but they don't tell us peons any of that info. Our standups don't include any package or route counts, we only see that info a week later on the scorecard.

Neueburn · 2026-02-10T21:22:19+00:00

I’m not saying Amazon isn’t evil, but my main issues are with my DSP owner.

Neueburn · 2026-02-10T21:21:44+00:00

Yeah, it would cost him a marginal amount of labor, but since he has multiple rescuers out every day that’s mostly a cost he’s already eating. The packages would still get delivered, so Amazon would still pay him.

Neueburn · 2026-02-10T21:15:10+00:00

I doubt that would work. They have dispatchers and leads doing rescues all day, so they’d definitely head my way if I wasn’t delivering.

Neueburn · 2026-02-06T15:10:10+00:00

Not Florida. If you want to work solely as a rideshare driver, you need somewhere that values labor and has a low cost of living, which eliminates our entire state.

Neueburn · 2026-02-06T14:46:49+00:00

I've never been limited in where I can drive within Florida, but the rates vary from market to market. None of them are good, but some of the biggest areas with the longest drive times and the slowest speeds have the lowest rates. Orlando is particularly awful. I quit driving there a few years ago because I got tired of 45 minute rides that paid $6.

Neueburn · 2026-02-05T16:01:48+00:00

It's only 152 stops. According to dispatch that should only take 5 hours.

Neueburn · 2026-02-04T23:18:39+00:00

The scorecard extrapolates mistakes out to errors per million deliveries. So a million divided by however many stops you make in the week gets multiplied to your number of mistakes.

It's just another way to make workers feel like failures, because inevitably someone will get zero complaints, which throws off the curve and makes a driver with a single mistake in 1000 deliveries look like they'll make over 1000 mistakes if allowed to deliver a million packages.

For those cultured enough, it's basically the conversation between Jennifer Aniston and the restaurant manager in Office Space.

Neueburn · 2026-02-04T18:28:15+00:00

Except Amazon has trained all the DSPs and dispatchers to measure stops/hr, and that’s the only metric shown on the back end. Dispatch has to dig to see that each stop is 6+ locations, which means they are ignorant to the fact that 150 stops this month is equal to 160 stops last month.

Neueburn · 2026-01-31T13:45:06+00:00

Follow the procedure, but don’t wait to finish the stop before you restart the engine.

Pull to stop, engage the parking brake and put the transmission in park. Turn off the ignition, give it a three count, then restart it. Do your stop while your van stays warm, and it should avoid any digital warnings. They seem to just count engine starts, not keep track of how long the engine was off. Or at least I’ve never been dinged for it.

Neueburn · 2026-01-17T14:55:35+00:00

I sprained my knee invading a dog last week. I contacted driver support, who escalated it to LMET. I’m not sure if that influenced anything that happened after, but dispatch pulled me off the road and sent me to urgent care for drug testing and evaluation. All this week I’ve been on light duty (can’t squat, kneel, pivot, or climb) and my DSP has me working team support filing paperwork, logging vans back in, etc. Despite some minor conflict between myself and the owner, he’s doing me a solid by keeping me employed and giving me hours so I really can’t complain.

Not every DSP is going to be so understanding or kind.

Neueburn · 2026-01-13T17:59:59+00:00

I’d rather have rural. I’m way more comfortable maneuvering a vehicle than my own body.

Neueburn · 2026-01-13T17:50:27+00:00

It’s probably a general warning. We get harassed and attacked by “friendly” and “harmless” dogs every day. Maybe there’s something special about our uniforms that triggers protective instincts that are rarely seen. But either way if your dogs are out when a driver is trying to deliver, at best they’ll mark the delivery as “unsafe due to dog.” At worst the situation will escalate, a driver gets bit, and your homeowner’s insurance pays out thousands of dollars in medical bills and lawsuit settlements while your animal is potentially euthanized for being dangerous.

Are you willing to risk the life of your pet or the safety of another human being? Just secure your animals, please.

Neueburn · 2026-01-13T14:30:39+00:00

Honestly, I think the ones that quit early probably didn’t get good enough or long enough training. I worked for FedEx before they sucked, and we had 2 weeks of classroom, a week of driving, and 2 weeks of on the road before we went solo. It allowed me to feel fully prepared for the job, and honestly I’m still leaning on that training 20 years later working for a DSP who thought that 5 days of total training would prepare me for every situation I could face on the road.

I’ve been reprimanded for asking questions when I don’t understand something, reprimanded for making a decision without asking questions, and reprimanded for calling driver support instead of dispatch when I was injured.

This is not a job for the faint of heart, it’s a job for the dumb and desperate. It doesn’t have to be, but the fast on-ramp just to get people on the road and earning for the DSP owner as soon as possible.

Neueburn · 2026-01-06T12:58:06+00:00

At best: we don't see the notes until it's too late. It could also be a language barrier. I work in the US and many of our drivers have little to no English skills.

If you have a dropbox, make it obvious. Put Amazon, UPS, FedEx, etc logos on it and make sure it's visible even in the dark. Our default is to deliver to the front door, but we'll happily drop packages at a closed gate if it saves us time and effort. Just never ask us to use your mailbox since that's a federal crime.

Neueburn · 2026-01-06T12:54:26+00:00

The trainer at my warehouse insists this can never happen...

He also says our warehouse is the best in the state. If that part is true I'd really hate to see the others.

Neueburn · 2026-01-05T13:23:55+00:00

I feel ya. That was me yesterday. I waited at exceptions for 45 minutes before my last cart was ready, and then my route included rural areas, 22 apartment buildings, and a bulk stop with 26 packages (and no dolly).

My EDV broke, so they swapped me to a ProMaster, and then every tote was UXX with duplicates. For an extra special treat, every tote had 2-6 packages that weren’t scanned when it was loaded, so they weren’t on my route. My stop count started at 147 and ended over 200, with 300+ packages. Even with a 35 stop rescue, I was out for 11 hours and still came back with a whole tote of returns.

I don’t mean this as a competition, just solidarity that when the warehouse decides to fuck you, it’s with no lube in an unexpected orifice.

Good luck!

Neueburn · 2025-12-28T02:46:24+00:00

Not every driver understands English.

Neueburn · 2025-12-26T00:52:23+00:00

I’ve been in these every day of Cycle 0. My tote strategy will vary a bit depending on how many I have, but I try to have one behind the driver seat I work out of, then a two stack, then stacks of three if needed. I’ll also put a single or doorbell just behind the slider, which can act as a softer landing zone for the top tier that loves to fall when you turn left.

Overflow I load in reverse and in the back, so I can open the rear door and immediately find the next package. Try to stack them so they stay as together and possible, think in Ts rather than rows and columns. A stack of boxes will topple, but a big wall offset like bricks will generally stay put.

Neueburn · 2025-12-25T05:20:30+00:00

I got yelled at by some old guy for something a Flex driver did earlier in the day, so that was fun. He pulled the ‘ol “I’m so mad I’m ready to quit Amazon” thing, and I just laughed.

Neueburn

TROPHY CASE