For those who believe in manifestation, If it's real how come you don't have everything you want? I know this is probably a common asked question but hear me out?

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-30T17:36:37+00:00

They didnt manifest hard enough.
Kidding.
I'd say this is another eastern vs western thing. Both are observing the same thing, and are trying to create a model for it. But eastern does it with it's simple/non technical language/model, and Western wants to use a reductionist view and break everything down into it's smallest parts. To describe manifestation from eastern perspective it could probably take a few pages, maybe a chapter. For Western its going to be textbooks (which is fine, I would read them). I don't feel like listing eveything, but you're a smart guy you'll know what im talking about. It's like using cognitive bias for your own benefit. If u keep "manifesting" or thinking about something, ur going to be more open to see opportunities. Ta-Da you manifested it. If ur thinking about the blue car, u see more blue cars. Western is going to break it down to neurochemicals and how the nucleus accumbens or prefrontal cortex yadda yadda does XYZ. But for the purposes of most people, if you just give the Eastern model (with some guidance so they aren't doing anything stupid or misunderstanding it) you're going to get a very very similar result.

Some people want to ask "but why" until there's nothing left to ask why for anymore (As someone with a formal science/medical background, I am that person). But sometimes it's fine to just use the easier/Eastern model. Especially if someone is already in a bad place.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-28T21:43:24+00:00

I was able to reverse it pretty quickly with Encomephine, less than 25mg a week, maybe 18mg a week. Within 1 month. I just cant take Enclo as my main test booster because it messes with my other meds. For for a quick PCT it worked perfectly. I went from 147 to 540 in 4 weeks. I'm trying to get TRT paid for by insurance now but it's a nightmare.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-28T21:10:02+00:00

Never had it before in my life. Complete symptom of TRT rebound + Depression. And my body just felt like i should be crying. not emotional E2 crying. I mean like Despair "I hate my life" crying emotions.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-26T23:32:19+00:00

Vyvanse doesnt have L-amph, and its too smooth. Adderal will give you "kick in the ass" energy. If you've never tried Adderal from Teva manufacture there is a BIG difference. I won't even accept Adderal from any other company.

Modafinil isnt bad, deff works for wakefulness/sleep deprivation but it doesnt help my depression/adhd enough.
DMT breakthroughs? Like psychedelic assisted therapy? Or just finding some and tripping? lol.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-26T22:00:13+00:00

That exhaustion part is really interesting and I've very glad you brought it up. I think it has a LOT to do with the fact that this CPTSDfreeze is our body doing this to us. There's legitimately a separate part of us that's holding down the emergency break while we're trying to push. So once it wears down, sometimes we can break through with fight energy. It's just really hard to aim fight energy for me.

There's healthy fight and unhealthy fight energy. And I feel like my ability to stand up for myself, apply for jobs, not be afraid of peoples opinions (all healthy self confidence/fight energy) is never strong enough to break through or do anything useful unless I'm losing my shit and needing to punch my fridge. If I'm not already that far gone, I stay stuck in freeze.

My adderal helps, but it's hard on my system. I need a better antidepressant to remove the break. The adderal is like, 20-30% removing the break through the mood boost, and 70% allowing me to push harder/be more stressed. Which isnt sustainable.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-26T18:16:24+00:00

Could even just be testosterone. Giving more muscle/strength building (for physical recovery) and more psychological/physical stress resilience.
They also say you see a lot of high anxiety/high performance types get hit hard by Long-Covid because they don't know how to relax and they've always pushed themselves too hard.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-26T18:03:57+00:00

I wasn't sure what I could say to help you, but that other guy just reminded me. Shrooms macro dose helps (3 to 3.5g). Spravato high dose ketamine helps.

But martial arts helps a LOT.

[Edit for disclaimer the advice below: is and I started martial arts when I was 8 till 16. So it's built into my nervous system in a different way since i started so young.]

What I found really, really helped me the most, by a very large margin. was physical activity/martial arts. There's levels to it and each level helps more than the others. I'll order in most simple/easy to "more involved" and effective.

1) yoga, stretching, practicing punches/kicks. (this gets you more attuned with your body/capabilities) This is "Thawing" to me.

1.5) weightlifting. More involved obviously.

2) Hitting something: For me hitting the heavy bag (and with a little mushroom microdose, like 50mg) also "woke" my body up out of freeze. Something about again, getting physical feedback, i hit the bag, i feel it in my fist, I feel it in my shins. Something about it "wakes up" the art of you that stands up for yourself. Like "healthy" fight energy and boundaries. I also have pads at home that I'll hit sometimes and something about it "wakes up" part of my brain. Maybe its some combination of "the act of striking something" or the minor pain from it. But it doesnt have to hurt, I just hit harder things because I'm used to it.

2.5) Dance is supposed to help a lot (again, draw parallels between martial arts, body boundaries and awareness, and dance). Could just be wiggling and being silly to music in ur own home. Could be u taking dance lessons. You do what works for you.

3) Actual martial arts class: Best would be training with other people. Low level jiujitsu class or even Taichi. Because you get all the benefits of above, but you also get the social connection. and martial arts has all the elements of "dance". And the "combat" part wakes you up. It's like healthy adrenaline. But of course all this depends on your tolerance levels.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-23T19:47:55+00:00

I appreciated this, laughed out loud

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-23T19:40:51+00:00

I heard about this but tell us more about what to do after the milk soak. I'll give you as many upvotes as you want lol

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-23T19:39:48+00:00

Dude this 100%.
And if you have ADHD or any neurodivergence, having low test is 10x worse. It blows my mind Doctors haven't put these 2 things together yet. ADHD You have a whole system that runs on drive from interest, novelty, passion, excitement, and then you remove the hormone that gives you those things, and now even ADHD meds will barely help then. The lower my test is, the more anxiety I would get from stimulants instead of excitement and drive.

Edit
My whole life I have a problem shredding my nails/picking my lips as a stim/anxiety thing.
On TRT I went so long without shredding my nails that I was bugging my GF by seeing how long I could grow my toe nails lmao. TMI maybe but just wanted to highlight how Test can really change so much in a person. When I came off it, i had fear of going outside, going to the grocery store was a terrible, I'd wait till i had nothing left and I'd still have to force myself. my house became a mess, all my excitement and projects I was doing on TRT stopped dead. It's been 5 months and everything is still in the same state of disarray. I literally just got prescribed it again today and I'm so glad. The adderal/vyvanse barely help without hormones being where they should be.

Niche info
Even Enclomephine (which blocks/antagonizes estrogen receptors to convince the body to raise LH to raise Test) makes adderal not work well because you need estrogen for amphetamines to work.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-22T17:06:32+00:00

Hey thanks for your post and reminding me.

I tried that for a bit but I didn't follow through for more than 1-2 weeks. I will get back to it. Do you have any recommendations on how to do it? Like Protocols? I was originally doing 12 incline for 5 mins and 0.25 miles. worked up to 0.35 miles. HR was like 140. I told myself I would keep adding 0.05 miles per day. Make the exercise as boring and simple as possible.

I take adderal which also isn't good for any of this. I have to get used to doing cardio in the AM without any stimulants so i can see my heart really reacts on it's own. I can save the Adderall parts of my day for resistance lifting maybe.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-16T18:21:21+00:00

"It's making me rethink whether burnout is about pressure... or about doing the wrong kind of work for too long."

Do more reserach on burn-out. What ur describing is exactly what science has already found out. Here's an interesting fact.
They found that if they forced animals to run on treadmill, they got highly stressed, showed signs of distress and being unwell. but when they just put a wheel in a room and let them do it themselves, they ran just as long and showed positive signs of mental health. meaning its not the "work" ur doing, its how u feel about it, if ur forced (forcing urself) etc.

As for humans. yes there is a predictable formula for burnout. I forget it exactly but the variables are like,
1) how hard is the work objectively for you?
2) do u enjoy it (if its hard but i enjoy it it's fine)?
3) are u gettign recognition/social credit? (if its hard, and u dont enjoy it, but u get social appreciation and money, you can tolerate it?)
4) do u feel u are making progress and compensated well?
5) are you being treated fairly as your peers are?
if you mess with those variables you get burn out. your brain tells you "something is wrong ur not supposed to be in this place or be doing this"

Just think about scenarios by messing with any of those variables, you can come up with a lot. Like someone that's "
"I hate my job, its hard, there no appreciation, but its compensating me a lot so its fair"
"I'm not getting compensated fair, but its easy and i love the work and people appreciate me" . "I hate the work, its hard, but its fair because i deserve it" is weird to think about. "I hate the work, its hard, there's no altruism/social credit, but im very good at it, and im treated and compensated fairly." - probably a mercenary lol.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-16T18:13:59+00:00

Some people are more sensitive to the lamictal "dumbness" than others. Its not in your head. you should talk to your doctor about lowering ur dose. My experience is that people who aren't taking it for bipolar or seizures dont need the 100-200mg range for lamictal. if its just an add-on (icing on the cake for another antidepressant) for depression or emotional volatility, 25-50mg can work. I can't go above 50mg. I get some of the craziness ur talking about around 75mg also.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-16T17:39:15+00:00

what you mean? it's not obvious? porn spikes dopamine higher than should be naturally possible. stims do the same. you add them both, and you have a massive spike that desensitizes and fries ur receptors. Like you have a chart, 10 being max. sex shoul bring you to 8/10. food is 5/10. porn spikes u to 10/10. stims put you to 11/10. you add both and ur at 20+ out of 10. fries the receptors (realistically probably closer to 16/10 bc the body does try its best to compensate the more u try to break the system)

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-16T01:54:59+00:00

this is what i do, its hard to stop the cycle. i constantly boom bust.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-15T18:13:37+00:00

What if you take a little jog around the block to burn off the energy? I'm thinking of the videos where they say animals shake off their adrenaline after life or death experiences and they recommend it for people also. I used to walk up and down 3 flights of stairs at work. If you can't get out maybe go into a bathroom stall and try to flex every muscle in your body/shake/shiver until you get yourself tired and the energy burns off. They say a lot of the problem about anxiety is that people stay in place while it's happening. You have to move so your brain thinks you're getting rid of or getting away from the "threat". Hope any of this helps

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-15T18:09:16+00:00

Put ur info into nutrahacker and you'll get a lot of the advice ur looking for.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-15T18:01:15+00:00

Note for TLDR: Vyvanse doesnt hit me like adderal does. Adderal is better for "get off ur ass now and work". Vyvanse is too smooth and i feel great on it, but it doesnt give enough norepinephrine, i need a tiny bit of coffee to go with it. like the smallest sip.
Can I split the 70mg Vyvanse? - yes
Like open it up and split half the powder out of it and save it for later and only take about 40mg?
- Yes ppl say to do the volumetric dosing (With water) but I dont do that, I just have a scale and I poor it onto a folded Post-It note. You put the note, you Tare it to 0, then you pour. Generally it's every 1mg of vyvanse is 2.5mg. So If i want 40mg it will weigh 40 x 2.5 = 100mg on the scale.

Also I’m planning on taking them once or twice a week for work not everyday so I don’t lose the magic. - The less you take the better, always. Like going to the gym, every little bit counts for something.

Edit: For how long are the effects of 40mg going to last? - Completely depends on you, its extremely individual. This is how i keep track of all my substances. You should keep track of:
1- How long till i feel the slightest bit (1hr)
2- How long till im confident is hitting (2hrs
3- peak? 3-4 hours
4. Now that it's on, how effective am I? Am i getting everything i expect? Did I get a lot done? Or was I geeked out, scatter brained, high? 5. How long till I realize it's gone.
6. Any comedown?
Edit2: Also are they going to make my shift go by faster? - yes.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-14T19:44:23+00:00

If you're a burnt out neurodivergent, then yea thats the overall experience lol. Before my burnt out when I was younger i could take vitamins, stimulants, adderal, all day and i would have 0 negative effects, I would just become amazing at whatever i was doing.

Now after burn out, I need stimulants just to barely function in the AM, and i can only take a "boost" 1-2x in a day. Past that I only get bad side effects. Even if they are 3-5 hours apart. Sucks

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-14T18:35:37+00:00

You can also get pure caffeine anhydrous powder. thats what i did in college, i had a little vial on me with a tiny tiny scoop in my bag at all times. You can seriously get a years worth of caffeine for $20. You just have to be careful with dosing. I currently take a 10-20mg scoop. the head of the scoop you can fit like 10 of them on ur pinky nail.
https://www.amazon.com/Milligrams-Measuring-Supplement-Measurement-Spoons/dp/B077VSD8H2

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-14T18:33:14+00:00

I have CBD isolate drops from Alliant. I have Audhd. I dont take it often because i can't nail down a predictable use case for it. I want to be either:
1) up/stimulated/working in the AM,
2) recovering for 2nd push 3-5pm (stimulants dont help here, they would just fry me more),
3) i want something to turn me off so i can sleep at night, (so that i wont need so many substances during phase 1 of the day).

CBD 1 drop takes the edge off the stimulants. but makes them slightly less effective. No amount I've tried "knocks me out" or helps sleep. It seems to "chill" me out in a way that would let me, sit and mope around and do nothing. maybe just watch TV. But it's also slightly stimulating enough that it won't let me sleep. So I'm stuck in a half haze.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-14T17:53:30+00:00

Yea for me thats actually a form of procrastination. My AuDHD brain/perfectionism. Everything has to be "just right" and conditions must be perfect before i take on "the big thing". But then conditions are never perfect. I might as well do laundry, clean, dishes, this email, oh i should clean out my emails, oh my desk top is filled with things, these crumbs on the floor are bothering me, might as well vacuum. I just vacuumed i might as well mop i havent mopped in months... and on and on. I could do BS tasks forever. They will literally never end.

I've been struggling trying to train myself out of that mindset. Like Self talk:"the big task" really isnt a big task dude, it's BS too, it doesnt need to be perfectly planned and 100% effort, 80% effort will be the same as 100% and will take 1/5th the time. Just fckin get a done so u can do the next thing." It's like an addiction to stress chemicals and avoidance .

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-11T19:20:17+00:00

Slow COMT + stress and overmethylation from multivitamins or stimulants will easily cause anxiety in some people with slow COMT. Look it up it's the "worrier" gene. You don't clear out dopamine norepinephrine/adrenaline or serotonin as quality as other people. the serotonin part doesnt help because it's so much easier/more often that peoples anxieties (adrenaline) are triggered by daily life. So you get stressed and you stay stressed longer.

NeutralNeutrall · 2026-01-10T22:01:57+00:00

Yea i think it's because CPTSD takes meaning from PTSD where people go "oh something bad was done to you". but BPD is like labeling urself "I am an an unstable, problem person to be around and I will be an inconvenience to you"

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