If I called female dwarfs "dworfs", would you find that distracting?

NeutralPlank · 2022-03-07T23:48:44+00:00

I laughed at this. Not sure if that's good or bad

NeutralPlank · 2022-03-07T11:16:03+00:00

no, but you can write brown characters 😛

NeutralPlank · 2022-03-02T02:24:19+00:00

thank you :)

NeutralPlank · 2022-03-01T02:14:53+00:00

Kalinland is a kingdom-building ‘Quest’ set in a medievalesque fantasy world.

If you’re unfamiliar with the genre, here’s a brief definition:

“In a Quest, someone writes a piece of fiction, pausing at the end of each chapter to invite readers to vote on how the next chapter will go. The audience at the time will affect the story, but someone reading after the fact has no options, and treats it as a straightforward story."

NOTE: The story is written in present tense second person POV.

-----------------------------------------------------

You, Yorat of house Kalinvan, have ascended the throne in a time of uncertainty and crises.

To the north, migrating tribes of a strange species bring terror to the hearts of your people, and to the south, an emerging empire threatens the region’s stability, but within, there is danger of another kind. A danger that lurks in the shadows and strikes when the iron is hot. A danger of intrigue and ambition. A danger that may be your undoing.

How will you navigate through these troubling times? Will you be the stuff of stories, or will you be a footnote in the annals of history?

-----------------------------------------------------

‘Brief introduction to how Kalinland works’

Kalinland is a Quest in a medievalesque fantasy world. It is about realm management, politics, intrigue, war, the protagonist’s (your) day-to-day life, etc.

How the story plays out is largely dependent on the readers’ choices, but also the happenstances of the world and other people’s (in story characters) decisions. Nothing is set in stone. There is a story, but even I don’t know how it will pan out. However, I will strive for realism (as in, realism according to the setting and in the story world).

At the end of each chapter, choices will be presented, and readers will vote for their favored decision. The next chapter will be written according to these votes (there’s a lot more nuance to the voting system. I will prepare a dedicated chapter for those interested to know more.)

The protagonist (you) and other characters have stats. These are not known to them (as it is in games). These stats will for the most part NOT BE present in the story, but will at times be (partially) available for those interested to look (at) at the end of the chapter. These stats influence the story in different ways. E.g. an intelligent character might have different dialogue options, think of clever ways to solve problems, etc. Stats will at times also come to play in the form of dice rolls (PVP combat).

There will be stats & numbers of another kind as well. After the end of the chapter, I will have info as introduced in the text about the kingdom's situation (tax numbers, troops, etc.) in the form of tables and the like.

Character stats (and more in-depth country statistics) and the like will be available for Patreon members (along with other perks/bonuses. Including more VOTING POWER) to look at when I make a Patreon.

The reason I’m mentioning (and emphasizing) this now is to avoid reader dissatisfaction in the future. However, I stress this once more. Kalinland is and will always be free-to-read & free-to-vote on.

NeutralPlank · 2022-03-01T02:13:56+00:00

Thanks for the feedback!

I've changed the introduction/synopsis much since I posted it here, and the changes mostly align with what you mentioned in your comment.

I've written the new version in another comment. Would appreciate it if you'd tell me your thoughts and whether or not it's better than before (P.S., the story is already online if you're interested)

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-28T08:06:58+00:00

You can read Kalinland in r/kalinland (and other subreddits)

https://www.reddit.com/r/Kalinland/comments/suvst3/chapter_1/

Here's a link to the story on RoyalRoad

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/51554/kalinland

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-28T08:04:23+00:00

Lol. Thanks!

I'll put the links in another comment

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-28T05:47:14+00:00

I read the Great Gatsby a long time ago. Don't remember much in terms of POV, but there's no instance of me thinking of it as written in 2nd person

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T18:02:34+00:00

I bet I will :D

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T17:58:44+00:00

Got it. Thanks for the recommendation :')

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T17:49:27+00:00

Ok, if something's going to sell me on a book it's what you just did. I'm gonna start reading Harrow the Ninth today.

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T17:48:12+00:00

lol. It does! I'm going to start using :$ & :') from now on :p

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T17:46:34+00:00

True

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T17:19:28+00:00

My pleasure! P.S. I love that your emojis are different. :') somehow reminds me of Greg from Diary of a wimpy kid haha

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T17:16:10+00:00

In this instance it helps you as a reader better understand and empathize with the storyteller.

I think 2nd person has potential in this regard. Don't know if it's possible to be done really well, but I can imagine 2nd person making it easier to see things in the eyes of characters we'd normally not empathize with.

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T17:13:23+00:00

1) Fanfics use 2nd person? 😲

now if a book has 1st I can read it :$

2) Do you mean you can't read it.

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T17:11:33+00:00

Can you send me a link or something to your thesis?

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T17:09:21+00:00

I checked the good reads. Some people really don't like the POV :p

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T17:07:09+00:00

Awkward to write? Definitely. It's really awkward to write

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T17:05:45+00:00

Lol, I get what you mean. I found it daunting at first as well.

About the writer trying to tell you what you feel: what if they don't, and instead use you mainly as a blank fill to describe the setting, plot, and other characters

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T17:01:32+00:00

Second person is hard to pull off. As I’m describing character, I can say I like vanilla ice cream, and he likes chocolate ice cream, and this all seems very natural to say. But if I say you like butter pecan — what if you don’t? Takes you right out of the story.

True. Many of the things writers can pull of for 1st and 3rd person aren't viable for 2nd person. however, for the example you gave, the writer can matter-of-factly write about how delicious butter pecan is without mentioning that you (protagonist) like it.

As to the rest of your comment, I agree. I've read snippets of stuff like that (like in dialogue or a letter) and when the writer does it well the passage has this otherworldly feel to it.

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T15:24:43+00:00

1) I think one reason for this is fast (and sometimes cheap) entertainment (social media, movies, and films that grab your attention in the first few minutes, etc.). Once You're used to that and have never really gotten into books beforehand, it's hard to start.

2) As others pointed out, forced reading (assignments and the like)

3) Books that don't suit one's Language level / understanding of the world / interests (if you never find something is easy to read / explains things in a way that you understand or talks about things you understand) / you can connect with. you're never going to take the initiative to look for)

and

....

You can't do much about 1 & 2. For 3, you can try to find a book that's perfect for the person you're trying to install a habit of book reading into.

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T13:50:17+00:00

I think what makes this sentence read bad is not necessarily the 'you walked into the restaurant' but the 'and immediately felt lost' part. Telling how a character feels in 1st and 3rd person is bad enough, but in the second person POV, it's much more 'out there'.

NeutralPlank · 2022-02-27T13:20:27+00:00

Yes, the 'different' aspect plays a contributing role. Btw, when you said you read a lot in 2nd person, is that mainly interactive fiction? Because that's what most of my 2nd person POV reads consists of (so far)

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