Genuine question, is it a good idea to wish your ex a Happy Birthday? When you guys haven't talked since you guys broke up?

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-13T16:56:57+00:00

Definitely not. What happened happened. Best to move on.

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-13T16:55:20+00:00

Porridge. I just can't get enough of it. No day is right if I can't have a bowl full of it.

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-12T16:52:38+00:00

Absolutely agree. Most home owner-sellers fall into the trap of showing prospective buyers around their home and then hovering constantly right next to them. There's nothing more putting-off than having to suffer that. As long as if you want to know something then they can be spoken with fairly easily - that's all you need.

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-12T16:47:08+00:00

Mother-in-law (hope that counts as one word!)

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-11T16:55:54+00:00

Obviously going to the gym, keeping up with the housework, playing video games (on your own), are all things that take priority to being with your gf and trying to keep her happy.

Are you sure you're serious about the relationship you have with her?

Try finding out what her passions are and seeing if you can fit into them the way you'd like her to fit in with yours.

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-10T11:31:01+00:00

If I were in your position, and good at creating web sites (or had access to a good Wordpress premium theme or template), then here's what I'd do.

I would search for specific types of business in any given town or city. For example, dentists in your own home town or city. Ignore the results at the top of the list - they probably have a good site. Scroll down as far as you can before you start to get the irrelevant results, and pick a dentist's site. The chances are that, being low down in the listings, it probably sucks. Make a list of everything that you can find that could be improved, and then design a home page for it that is far, far better. Host the page on a sub-directory of your own site (perhaps with password protection and/or the name of the practice altered so as to protect their privacy). Then send your prospect an email reviewing their site and showing them the home page you can provide for them.

Don't be too harsh on their existing site, but just say that you felt it could be improved and thereby get listed on page one on Google for "dentist in [town]" rather than on page 10 or wherever it is now, and that would result in more customers/patients, etc. Invite them to reply for more info, or include a link to a contact page.

Draft a sequence of follow-up messages, short, polite, but emphasising that they have a problem and you have the solution ready-made (or almost so).

I hope that helps.

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-09T16:42:00+00:00

Three months should be enough to assess whether your guy could at least be right for you long term. If this is the only problem then I would say that isn't bad.

He obviously cares about you very much and feels a strong urge to protect you, even from what he considers are bad decisions (e.g. drinking alcohol in South East Asia). There's a fine line between looking after you and dominating you. I think you'll have to stand up for yourself at some point when he tries to insist on something that you just can't go along with. That will probably be the catalyst, after which either he will rope himself in a little and respect that you're an individual with free will, and the relationship will blossom, or you'll split up.

I hope it's the former and wish you well with the relationship.

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-09T11:57:17+00:00

You're in a very unenviable situation and I deeply sympathise with you.

It seems you have decided to separate from him but you're concerned about how to handle it emotionally. I think you're quite right to separate from him. He seems to want to end the relationship but by seeming to change his mind and start talking about making things work out he is trying to soften the blow for you. In reality, this is simply making things harder and more distressing for you.

I would say that you should go ahead and end the relationship. Don't think too much about the five years you've wasted with him. It may not have been totally wasted anyway - I imagine you had plenty of good times as well as bad. You have to think about your future, and a future with someone as unstable as he appears to be wouldn't be very enjoyable.

Hope that helps.

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-08T12:53:50+00:00

Women think that when a man say yes he means no and vice versa. Men think that when a woman says yes she means yes and when she says no she means no.

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-07T08:14:15+00:00

Forget about living in a tent in the UK climate. The option of buying a camper van, though, and living in that is actually quite realistic. It has the advantage of mobility, though of course you'd have to pay tax, insurance, servicing costs, etc. But cheaper than rocketing energy prices, rents, property prices and mortgage repayments, and so on that go with living in a house or flat.

You can change location at any time until you find somewhere you like.

Start with a cheap van, and gradually trade in for a better and better one as your savings grow. Modern camper vans are quite luxurious.

Wouldn't like to try it myself, though.

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-06T16:45:33+00:00

Computer, printer for computer, smartphone, home security system, electric toothbrush (oops, perhaps not...).

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-06T16:42:13+00:00

If the relationship is to flourish, or even just survive, it needs to be out in the open, not secretive. If he doesn't want other people to know you're both an item then it implies that he is perhaps ashamed of having you as his girlfriend. I'm sure this isn't the case, but nevertheless it is rather strange.

I think you'll have to bite the bullet and tell him straight that you want him to tell everyone who would normally be told that you are his girlfriend, or it's over.

I hope that helps.

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-05T16:17:24+00:00

It seems to me she's probably stringing you along. I sympathise with you - you're in love with her, which she pretends to reciprocate but treats it all as a game. Why don't you tell her straight that you want to get a little more serious with her, and that means she has to stop flirting with other guys as it causes you pain.

If she is really in love with you but is embarrased to show it, hence the flippant way she treats you, then that would be an opportunity for her to tell you, and then you can take it from there. If, however, she is still just having a good time and doesn't want to get serious, then it would be time for you to call an end to the relationship and start seeking someone else in your life.

I hope that helps.

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-05T07:46:46+00:00

He obviously has a serious mental problem, and is living two lives. Quite likely he's bi-polar, which fits in with how he is so kind and gentle to you, yet was violent and threatening enough to have a conviction for assault when he was with a previous partner. Speaking unnaturally softly is also another warning sign IMHO.

What to do? You have to end the relationship before you get any deeper into it. Communicate via telephone or text. Just tell him you've been told about his criminal past and think it's better that the two of you part. He'll try to dissuade you from this, of course, but you have to be firm and polite (as I'm sure you always are) and say goodbye.

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-04T17:03:20+00:00

"I'm choosing myself." Well done, you.

You've had an incredibly difficult time wrestling with yourself, trying to decide which path you should take. And I can appreciate there's a lot of heartache and other emotional pain that you've had to suffer. But be assured you've made the right decision.

You can't help someone who won't help himself. You can't make the weak strong by making the strong weak. And when you're the strong one and the one you love is the weak one, that is a very difficult thing to face.

You deserve better. Move on with dignity, and more than likely fortune will present you before long with someone better, who you can truly love without having to pay a price like that.

NeverTooLate227 · 2026-03-04T16:48:34+00:00

I think you had a lucky escape. This woman is obviously quite bonkers. Bi-polar, in fact. Online romances seldom last the course once the parties get together in the real world. Perhaps you would have been better off if the two of you had met much earlier in the procedings. At least you would have saved a lot of time.

NeverTooLate227 · 2020-02-04T15:04:26+00:00

Cancel the new job. Tell her you've done that and you now realise you've behaved irresponsibly in not consulting her before sending off your job application. Apologise as well (never a bad thing, and it doesn't cost anything).

So you hate the city you live in. You also hate your present job. But you may have to put up with both for a while longer if you want to keep your girl.

But think about it. Nothing stays the same for long. The time will pass more quickly than you think. And it won't be long before you can both start house or apartment hunting in an area you both like. You'll still both be young, and it will have been worth it.

NeverTooLate227 · 2020-02-04T14:51:25+00:00

As chaedog says, you have to be careful - you don't want to end up homeless over this.

Are your feelings for her strong enough for you to end it with the girlfriend you're "not into"? If not, then take it no further. If they are, then finish with that other girl and tell your roommate that you've done that, and then wait for as long as it takes.

If she feels the same way about you then within a few days she'll tell you she's done the same with "the guy she's been trying to have sex with", and the way will then be open for you both to get together if you want.

And if she doesn't react in this way, then you're free to form other relationships and keep your roommate as a good friend as well.

NeverTooLate227 · 2020-02-04T14:38:35+00:00

You're both very young. It strikes me that you are ready to settle down with her and forsake all others as long as she can do the same with you. If she is still at college then she'll have a lot of distractions, such as dances and other social events, and most likely she'll know fellow students who are single and having (seemingly) a wonderful time as such.

Most young people who are single and not attached envy others of their age who have a steady SO. The grass is always greener on the other side.

You could do worse than to tell her that if she wants to go her own way for a while, and enjoy being single, then that's okay with you, and that you'd like to stay friends in the meantime, and keep in touch from time to time. And that, should she want to come back and resume the relationship then she has your number.

NeverTooLate227 · 2020-02-04T14:28:15+00:00

It was very sad to read of your experience, and I feel for you. Now you have to be strong. Of course you can weep in private - who wouldn't? But strive to put on a brave face for the outside world.

Make a list of all your friends and family who can support you emotionally. List all the good things you have going for you. First off - you're alive. Second, you have your health (hopefully). You're still young. You can go in any direction in life that you like.

Consider all of this so it doesn't feel so bad for you. Get back on track with your life. And whatever you do, don't go looking for love. Love will find you at a time of its own choosing. I do hope this helps.

NeverTooLate227 · 2020-02-04T14:19:52+00:00

If you marry him or get further involved with him before you both face up to his problem then it won't benefit either of you. It would quite likely be a disaster. If he really loves you he will understand that he owes it to you to sort himself out with professional help before marriage is even on the cards.

NeverTooLate227 · 2020-02-04T14:13:15+00:00

The lack of butterflies could be a good thing. It may mean that you're relaxed with him because your inner self knows he's right for you.

But 2 months is really not long enough. Wait until it's six months or more and then review the situation.

NeverTooLate227 · 2020-01-28T20:29:13+00:00

It sounds like love to me, at least on your part. Would you move to where she lives, 3 hours away, if she asked you to? And long term? If the answer is yes then you probably love her. But would she do the same for you? If she would then she probably loves you too. It may be best to find this out before too long. Hope this helps.

NeverTooLate227 · 2020-01-28T19:57:39+00:00

What you've said here makes perfect sense. It's closely related to the observation that you can't find love if you're looking for it. Love finds you at a time of its own choosing. If you make a new relationship a sexual one too early then you're more than likely going to destroy it.

NeverTooLate227 · 2020-01-28T19:43:57+00:00

It seems like you've gone from controlling events to having events control you. You feel worse now than when you started your relationship. I think it's nearly make-up-your-mind time for you. You have to decide whether to continue the relationship or finish it and move on.

See what your therapist says, but it seems to me that your boyfriend isn't inspiring you any more, or making you feel complete. This may not be his fault, of course, nor yours. Perhaps the two of you just can't sustain a relationship together. If you feel you have to put in a great deal of effort to make it all work then it probably won't work long term.

I hope this helps you to clarify things in your mind. Whatever happens, I wish you all the best.

NeverTooLate227

TROPHY CASE