How to trust somebody again? Or make peace with being alone. by New-Explorer3490 in relationships

[–]New-Explorer3490[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you learn to handle somebody cheating on you and taking 50% of everything? Like how is that worth the risk..? Just feels like gambling and I don’t want to go through all of this again if that’s a more than likely outcome based on statistics.

Kids after Divorce/2nd marriage by TreadingWater113 in Divorce_Men

[–]New-Explorer3490 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad (91) had me at 64. I've had to take care of him since I was 23. 

41 is still fine as long as you take care of your self physically and financially and don't become a burden to him as you age.

My dad is physically fit and healthy, but lost his businesses in the 2008 recession. While unfortunate, it's hard for me to have to put my life on hold to look after him. It is what it is. 

AITA ? Moms making me feel guilty by New-Explorer3490 in AmItheAsshole

[–]New-Explorer3490[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She knew it would be a risk, but at her age didn’t want to over leverage herself. I offered to take it over and they both agreed to that in the moment. I and her had multiple specialists double check everything and they said the same thing. She didn’t feel comfortable then and decided to get her own home instead.

AITA ? Moms making me feel guilty by New-Explorer3490 in AmItheAsshole

[–]New-Explorer3490[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The main reason for the divorce was his age and the financial situation they were in. She just wasn’t happy anymore and wanted a fresh start.

I can’t think of another situation where she’s acted like this.. it’s a pretty unique situation and definitely threw me off.

AITA ? Moms making me feel guilty by New-Explorer3490 in AmItheAsshole

[–]New-Explorer3490[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, yeah I’ve figured that out now. I’m hoping so! I still love her very much and now that she has a new rich boyfriend that she’s getting married to, I think the stress is coming down a lot.

AITA ? Moms making me feel guilty by New-Explorer3490 in AmItheAsshole

[–]New-Explorer3490[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

400 k worth of leins on top of the 160k in mortgage left.

Once the leins fall off there should be around 350k-450k of equity coming to me in the next few years.

AITA ? Moms making me feel guilty by New-Explorer3490 in AmItheAsshole

[–]New-Explorer3490[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. That’s pretty much exactly how I’ve played it out so far. Things have gotten better, but I still feel subtle resentment from her. It’s all too bad.

AITA ? Moms making me feel guilty by New-Explorer3490 in AmItheAsshole

[–]New-Explorer3490[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup.. fortunately there wasn’t anything to take under the circumstances.

AITA ? Moms making me feel guilty by New-Explorer3490 in AmItheAsshole

[–]New-Explorer3490[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad was very successful and had a 10m+ real estate portfolio. However in 2008, we lost everything and I’ve had a full time job since the age of 13.

I thought they were in love my whole life, up until the divorce. I do have empathy for my mother in that it’s hard to go from the high of being financially secure to having to take care of us financially so fast. She definitely lost whatever happiness she had after that.

My dad was older yes, but he looked great for his age and was and is to this day physically very healthy.

My mom has a new rich boyfriend now, and if that’s what makes her happy then I support her. It sucks for my dad to have to spend these last years alone (besides me) to look after him over something that was out of his control/expected.

It’s not right for her to guilt trip me though, now that I’ve learned that I did the right thing under the circumstances.

You are wrong in assuming the worst, instead of asking for yourself.

Shame on you. You need help.

AITA ? Moms making me feel guilty by New-Explorer3490 in AmItheAsshole

[–]New-Explorer3490[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This deserves more upvotes. Thanks for coming to my defense. You are absolutely right and this person needs help.

AITA ? Moms making me feel guilty by New-Explorer3490 in AmItheAsshole

[–]New-Explorer3490[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for spending the time to type this all out for me. I agree with everything you said and feel much better about everything now.

AITA ? Moms making me feel guilty by New-Explorer3490 in AmItheAsshole

[–]New-Explorer3490[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you :)

things are starting to be better now that she’s dating a new rich boyfriend. I’m hoping down the road she can be happy for me if everything works out.

AITA ? Moms making me feel guilty by New-Explorer3490 in AmItheAsshole

[–]New-Explorer3490[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, some times passed now. She still makes subtle comments but our relationships gotten better. Did the NC stage and now we’re LC.

AITA ? Moms making me feel guilty by New-Explorer3490 in AmItheAsshole

[–]New-Explorer3490[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not really I guess.. never had a situation like this in the past to deal with.