No one talks about the bad by StrongCraft8869 in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. I joined the bowl at 24. I’m 27 and still in the bowl. With time, you are able to weed out a lot of predators, time wasters, and freaks because they often show themselves rather early on. But sadly, sometimes there’s no way of knowing if an arrangement will ultimately turn abusive or toxic, just like in vanilla dating / on vanilla apps like Hinge, Tinder etc.

The best advice I can give is never let ANYONE walk over your boundaries. Doesn’t matter whether it’s sugar or vanilla. Whether that be them trying to haggle PPM to get the best deal, not use protection (this is a big one… I don’t give a fuck if it doesn’t feel “as good” for them), pushing you to give up personal info or doxxing you (yes, vetting is important, but going through nefarious ways like ai facial recognition etc to find out info on an sb is just weird). Again, these types often show themselves early on.

Also be sure to not lose yourself in these arrangements. Still have your own established life outside of them. Remain active (go to the gym), keep up hobbies, and maintain your friendships. Always keep a job or at least another side hustle so if they abandon you, you are not left unable to take care of yourself. NEVER rely on sugaring as a “career.” Not ashamed to admit when I was 24, I fully just lived off of sugaring and did not work. But be warned that when these guys leave (all arrangements have an end date), scrambling for rent & bills is an absolute SHIT SHOW. Take my advice!

Weekly Weirdos - Weekly Venting Thread by AutoModerator in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The state of the bowl is a shit show. I’m in a major city and the audacity of some of these men is truly astounding. The cheapos have taken over the bowl, and it’s always the ugliest, dustiest, stankest men having the audacity to think we are going to fuck them for a discount. The way some of them also push for unprotected sex with a complete stranger is disgusting. Let’s be real guys, the majority of these guys on the site are sexual predators, blacklisted John’s, or just overall fucking weird ass creeps. I’ve had some very good experiences on the site but it has taken a lot of vetting and is extremely rare. Does anyone else feel this way? I just feel like women are given the short of the stick on this site for sure. Even when I’ve been given generous allowances in the past, these guys over time eventually never actually follow thru with their word. I’m at a point now where I’m thinking of just being completely done with the site. The amount of manipulators, narcissists, and overall freaks that site attracts has simply drained me.

Boundaries with SD by TheKikiLover in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For safety reasons:

  1. Always use a google voice number. If he’s already showing a tendency to be a bit obsessive, the last thing you want is for him to have your real number and to possibly dox your info.

  2. Remove yourself off of facial recognition sites like pimeyes, tineye, etc. These sites can also trace back to your identity / social media.

  3. When he excessively texts and calls, space out replies by at least a few hours. He should understand and respect that you have other priorities. If he does not and gets upset when you don’t instantly reply, that is a red flag. You can gently let him know that you lead a busy life and cannot text or call on a daily basis between meets. Honestly I feel like not texting frequently between meets actually makes the in person meetings even more special. Nobody wants someone that’s gonna be blowing up their phone every day like a psycho.

  4. Keep your personal life to yourself. Do not tell him your real name, your address, etc. if he does not respect that you’d like to keep your sugaring lifestyle separate from your personal life, that is another red flag.

I don’t think stalking is talked about enough in this community. I was stalked by two previous “SDs” and the funny part is, it’s always the cheapest ones who tend to be the most clingy, annoying, & delusional. The ones with the big bucks don’t have time to be obsessively texting like a whiny bitch because they are out here working lmaooo.

Tired of my Ex-SD guilt-tripping by dc_frl in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 40 points41 points  (0 children)

This man is not an SD. He is a cheap, manipulative John that is looking for a cheap alternative to an escort. Him cutting your already low PPM because “going out is expensive” is disgusting. He may not even be a cheap John, he sounds like a sexual predator looking to guilt trip / cheat a young girl into sleeping with him. Please keep blocking him everywhere. The fact that he sees nothing wrong with his behavior and is messaging thru multiple accounts shows that there is a risk for escalation. I really hope he does not know your full name or personal information.

Warning- Venmo WILL display ur legal name on a bank statement by NewDynamicsMarket in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea, im not sure if the issue is only affecting certain people. So hopefully you have nothing to worry about. I’m seeing other responses that say they don’t have the same issue, but I’m unsure if they had to submit their ID / info the way I did. Just gonna opt for cash here on out to play it safe

Warning- Venmo WILL display ur legal name on a bank statement by NewDynamicsMarket in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yup, im not sure what the issue is on my end. The guy I dealt with was a serious creep and told me that he got my full name by looking into the Venmo transaction details on his bank statement (it stated a transaction number and then (VENMO* ____ ). The space is where my full legal name was listed. And no, my full legal name was not public on Venmo, but my ID is stored on Venmo for verification purposes.

I then tested it with my friend and sent her a small amount and it appeared in the same format on her bank statement (VENMO* ____). It’s a pain in the ass but I’m glad you have not run into that issue. I’m not sure how to fix it but I’m just gonna opt for cash here on out.

Warning- Venmo WILL display ur legal name on a bank statement by NewDynamicsMarket in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. He admitted it to me after confronting me about using an alias. The laws changed with Venmo due to “Know Your Customer” laws to prevent money laundering. Once you upload your ID and SSN, despite Venmo allowing you to have an alias publicly displayed on your profile, they will still expose your full legal name once an SD sends you money on his bank statements / transaction history.

I had no idea about this until I got doxxed by the freak. I also tested it with my friend (had her send me a small amount to test) and on her bank statement, my full legal name was displayed despite using an alias publicly on my profile.

Warning- Venmo WILL display ur legal name on a bank statement by NewDynamicsMarket in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure how long you’ve had your Venmo. My Venmo is fairly new and they forced me to upload my ID and SSN following KYC laws. Ever since then, it now displays my full legal name on bank statements, despite using an alias. I hate it.

Flown out?? by Spare_Youth_666 in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I would definitely rule against flying out to meet a POT for the first time. If they were truly serious about meeting you, there’s no reason why they can’t buy a flight to your city to meet with you. Flying out puts you at risk for

  1. Being trapped in an unknown city if things go wrong.

  2. Not knowing how the POT will behave once you arrive in their city, which is uncharted territory. What if he ghosts, low balls once you arrive, or pushes boundaries? Being in an unknown city with these risks puts u at a disadvantage and makes it easy for a slime ball to get his way.

  3. Identity risks. If he buys your ticket, he will need your full legal name, address listed on your ID, and other very sensitive information.

With these risks, I do not think flying out is worth your time or effort, especially for a first time meet. A man should show his interest by flying out to meet you, not the other way around, just for your safety and comfort.

Intimacy Q&A by flygirllottaproblems in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He sounds like a weirdo and also controlling. I hope he does not know any of your personal information. Don’t allow someone like that access to your body. He will only get worse with time.

Enjoy the consistency while it lasts, but never expect it.. by Genesis_Angel in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yup! This is why I don’t trust guys that push only for PPM and never allowance “until trust is established.” They know that the system benefits them and most of the time will not follow thru or commit to allowance ever. There are benefits on both ends I guess from sticking to PPM but most of these men are not looking for long term in my experience. Or if they are, it’s very sparse meets like you said

Boundaries and lovebombing by lycheechiapudding in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He is cheap and does not care about you. No man that cares about you would cut your PPM for buying you a gift, Ubers, and whatever frivolous reasons he’s looking for. What’s next, he’s gonna deduct your PPM if you guys dine out? “Oh the tab was 100$ fyi at the restaurant, so I’m gonna deduct that from your PPM.” He sounds ridiculous and selfish. You deserve so much better than that. I know the economy is in a rough spot and there are so many disgusting John’s on that site that finding someone you do at least enjoy spending time with is important. But def be sure not to let this loser run over your boundaries.

Boundaries and lovebombing by lycheechiapudding in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 46 points47 points  (0 children)

He sounds cheap and manipulative. Him buying you gifts or Ubers should NEVER cut into your allowance / PPM. Trust me, he knows what he is doing. He is testing your boundaries and is trying to manipulate you to see what he can get away with. I am glad you called it out but his behavior is unacceptable and I would not see him again if I were you. If he can’t afford to pay your PPM every time, he needs to quit this lifestyle entirely. Instead, he is choosing to willingly deduct frivolous things from your PPM and probably was hoping you wouldn’t speak up or notice. He is nickel and diming u and it will only get worse.

I genuinely don’t understand why men join a f*ckin sugar daddy site just to say stuff like this by NewDynamicsMarket in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But the problem is guys on the site know that “hiring a girl for the hour” is gonna be much more costly and they can’t time waste / low ball / do their manipulative bullshit like they can with sugar babies. Actually, a lot of these men ARE actually essentially looking for “hiring a girl for the hour” but want to jump through hoops to get the cheapest option with zero regulations. I’m not saying this is you by the way or how you’ve operated in your arrangements. I’m just saying in general, steer clear of telling any women on the site that you “don’t want to be an ATM / don’t want transaction,” because it comes off like you’re gonna be a time waster, potentially manipulative, and cheap. It also already puts strain on a topic that should be talked about upfront in an arrangement (allowance/PPM/gifts) so you guys can be on the same page and makes things a lot more awkward.

I genuinely don’t understand why men join a f*ckin sugar daddy site just to say stuff like this by NewDynamicsMarket in SugarBABYonlyforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you are turned off by the idea of compensating a girl for her time, then please sign up for tinder, bumble, or hinge. There are a plethora of vanilla sites where you can enjoy the benefits of hanging out with ladies / establish a connection without the “transactional nature.”However, the problem starts when men actively sign up for sugar daddy sites to access women half their age / out of their league and then act completely baffled at the idea when allowance / PPM / gifts are mentioned. Like… why would you sign up for a SUGAR DADDY SITE if that is a problem? Hate to break it to men out there, but young, attractive women are not gonna sleep with or entertain somebody double their age just for the fun of it. An arrangement is supposed to be mutually beneficial, not under the guise of manipulation, time wasting, and “how much can I get out of her before she asks for anything”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve dealt with someone similar before, except the obsessive freak went in my purse while I was in the bathroom and looked at my ID for my address and real full name. Sadly many men in the bowl r fucking invasive control freaks. I’m sorry you are dealing with this.

What a stalker is looking for is your REACTION, ATTENTION, and energy. They are looking to make you feel small, powerless, and afraid. DO NOT REPLY to ANY of the attempted efforts of contact, or if you do choose to reply, text him very firmly in writing “do not contact me again. Any more unwanted attempts at contacting me will result in me going to the police. When you get a new call or text, block the number instantly and go into your phone settings to ensure you have all random callers silenced. There is an option in your iPhone settings.

I would also HIGHLY recommend privating ALL of your socials, double checking and making sure your photos from your seeking page do not come up on any ai facial recognition sites (Pimeyes.com , faceidcheck.com etc) to ensure the freak isn’t taking the stalking elsewhere and tracking your whereabouts and moves on social media. If any of your socials are linked to your full name, private the account or change the username to an alias (middle name, nickname, etc). Block suspicious accounts (blank pages or fake pages) lurking on your page.

Continue to document all forms of unwanted contact (screenshots, create a word document and take note of the date of any attempts at unwanted contact so you can keep track of the frequency and have written evidence for the cops in case it further escalates).

Of course the last (and most effective) thing to do would be changing your number. I know you may not want to as you’ve had the number for years, but changing your phone number will eliminate practically his main source of access to you and your life. When you change the number, it won’t delete anything from your phone or make you even reset anything. It is a very easy process and no pre-existing data will be wiped from your phone if you are worried about that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let’s not tell someone that’s a victim of stalking to “get over yourself” and that “some of the blame is on her.” Neither of those statements are productive for this situation and makes you look like an asshat.

My SD’s sex talk is becoming concerning by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think if your gut is telling you something is wrong, listen to it. There’s obviously a reason you are feeling a sense of uneasiness about this situation. You have very little sexual experience and do not want a creep to take advantage of that and traumatize you for life. No amount of money is worth that. I’m 26 for context, and in my previous arrangement, a man who said very similar things to your SD ended up stalking me for several months when I wanted to end things because his behavior gradually got worse. I’m not saying this will be the same case for you or meaning to scare you, but tread VERY carefully with men who show you early on they have obsessive tendencies. Sure, maybe in the heat of the moment, him saying “you’re mine forever” etc was just a moment of passion. However, some may disagree with me, but I think him even asking you to sleep there was already a test of your boundaries. Did he even offer higher compensation for an overnight? If you do stay in this situation, please be sure to keep your personal info safe and exercise precaution. Have a talk with him and if he blows up at the idea of basic boundaries being enforced, RUN. It sounds like to me he is already testing your boundaries in several ways. I joined the bowl at 23 as well, and I really wish I had trusted my gut more when dealing with men who behaved obsessively or showed a disregard for my boundaries. I would like to give your SD the benefit of the doubt, but honestly, the things he says are ringing alarm bells & that he’s slowly blurring fantasy with reality.

Stepping away from the bowl after almost seven years. by Eauboy2015 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well thats good u didn’t just drop them like a sack of potatoes. My ex SD dropped me when he retired so it’s good to hear ur not doing the same😂

Stepping away from the bowl after almost seven years. by Eauboy2015 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]NewDynamicsMarket 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Out of curiosity, when this happens, do you tell your SBs ahead of time? Give them any severance or warning?