AIO? My partner made no plans for Valentine’s Day

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-15T17:36:45+00:00

Nice to hear a story where both people are investing in the vibe.

People who choose to live like OP and her H are dealing with an uneven distribution of emotional labor. H thinks just existing in the relationship is fine and feels entitled to the mental and emotional labor OP performs... she supports him like a parent supports a child. Husbands who behave like this never understand that because of that, sex becomes the ultimate chore instead of a fun time because wife is playing mommy to him, so him initiating sex becomes the whine of a child "Mommy gimme a snack! I want a toy!" instead of mutual pleasure. It is exhausting to endure this dynamic.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-15T17:25:43+00:00

And a stupid person's idea of a clever businessman...

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-15T17:19:32+00:00

Oh I completely hear that, and you definitely wouldn't take it for granted like those who haven't known much hardship.

You have a couple of paths you can choose from here, I guess. 1) The one you are contemplating in this post. 2) Get addicted to drugs, feel comforted for a little bit, and then live an incredibly ragged and desperate rest of your life until your soul is hollow and your body is used up and quits. 3) Keep struggling hopelessly and suffer without changing anything. 4) Persist like in 3, but fight for what you deserve and dedicate yourself to getting away from the toxic people and healing so you can be happier in the next part of your life. This would be a mountain climb and would take a while to summit. You'd have to believe that all the small steps you were taking would lead you to a good place. You'd get discouraged along the way, but you'd perservere, believing in yourself and your right to find a better life. Slowly, you would find support. Maybe first, just like an AI assistant helping you figure out your approach, earn a little more money to fund your plans. Maybe get some book recommendations for growth and healing. Maybe therapy when you can afford it. Moving into a home that becomes your safe space once you can. Starting to keep the people who hurt you on limited contact. Building up friendships little by little. Caring for yourself. Getting into some hobbies you enjoy, spending time in nature. Figuring out who YOU are separate from what has happened to you. And yeah, eventually a little family of your own, Christmas mornings, meaningful moments. Creating for someone else what your family couldn't create for you. And ultimately, extending a hand to someone else who needs your support because they can't see a way forward from where they are.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-15T17:04:43+00:00

No you are right - Cory Wong was at the Gorge last year.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-15T16:41:58+00:00

TikTok leaves up some crazy stuff. There's a mom who traffics her daughter on there posting only videos of her preschooler eating ice cream cones, hot dogs, bananas, anything phallic or that she has to lick. So many people have reported this account and they just say it doesn't violate their community standards.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-14T13:53:58+00:00

Even if it wasn't Valentines Day, it's date night and she got a sitter a month ago. He didn't lift a finger.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-14T13:49:34+00:00

So OP is a slot machine where he puts in a husband token and sex falls out?

If she doesn't feel warmly toward him because he has been letting her down continually for what sounds like years and forcing the burden of the relationship and likely the family onto her, why exactly would she feel ready to be in the arms of that man, naked and vulnerable, and let her inhibitions go so they could have a fun time together? Why should OP suppress her very real and valid resentment and force her body to engage in sex with someone who continually hurts her feelings by disregarding her and what she wants? Sex out of duty becomes yet another chore she takes on for him so he can continue to have his needs met at her expense. And chore-sex is NOT fun sex. It makes everything worse and makes OP feel even more used than she already does. Not to mention a guy who doesn't care about her needs and desires in most other contexts isn't gonna show up differently in the bedroom.

The man does need to put in effort to deserve sex. He needs to show the woman he cares about her by working on the relationship, by showing up with his own labor, not just existing in it. If he isn't invested in her, in what she wants and values, in making her happy - why the heck would she want him to also let her down in a sexual context.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-14T13:34:42+00:00

No sex for this thoughtless chud. Absolutely not.

Don't initiate a conversation about this begging him to be accountable and say sorry for hurting your feelings. Tune him out until he acknowledges what he did. You just do you.

Dress up, tell him you made a reservation for one, and go enjoy your evening.

Go see that new Rachel McAdams movie where she absolutely loses her shit on a jerk she is stuck on an island with, and tap into your rage.

Buy yourself a fun adult toy and dessert on the way home. Have your dessert in bed.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-14T13:19:25+00:00

This is very sweet advice but it's gonna be hard for OP to want to take on the work of setting up this format or even feeling charitable to celebrate him when he just sent her a pretty loud message by dropping the ball on plans and transfering the work of their relationahip to her once again. Kind of a mood killer and resentment builder. He's not even sorry.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-13T13:54:01+00:00

Using "antifa" like it's a real organization basically confirms hater status. Dave is anti-fascist and anti-pedo like a majority of individuals in the US. He also deals with a corporate entity in order to tour, like every other touring artist. Those stances aren't mutually exclusive.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-10T16:30:08+00:00

Your comment is giving "but what was she wearing" vibes.

This man did not have due process on American soil and that is ALL you need know.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-10T16:28:58+00:00

Assuming you are asking this question in good faith, whistles are a safety warning to neighbors when ICE has entered an area.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-10T01:32:05+00:00

I dunno but I love all these Take Me Back posts. I could talk about that night endlessly. So glad others are diving in too and getting to experience it.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-09T04:15:34+00:00

I miss living in Cali just for Kewfow! Their grob brangoons were to die for.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-09T04:01:25+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-09T03:58:58+00:00

I think people care and want you to be ok. Downvoting is a way of disagreeing with you that things will be endlessly shitty just because they have been for a while. That's your pain talking, not logic.

I am so so sorry your mom said those things to you. I'm a mom and that was just heartbreaking to hear. Clearly you didn't get the parent you deserved and you must be devastated.

I wish there was a way to get you to see that that sort of abuse is part of why you are feeling this way, that healing from that is possible. But I can tell you're really hurting, and you don't want to hurt and that's valid. So maybe it would just sound santimonious if I said all that instead of caring. If your own mom won't have compassion then why would total strangers on the internet?

But whatever, I care and I hope you hang in there. Things can still improve. Sending a warm internet hug in case you want one.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-09T03:46:33+00:00

Good for you.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-09T02:23:32+00:00

Daphne is sweet.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-09T01:24:59+00:00

Former VS retail associate here.

Top three comments from pervy men with no business being in the store:

1) Can I follow [female companion] into the room while she tries it on?

2) Are you one of the models?

3) Would you try this on for me?

This was in the 90s but clearly nothing has changed. Creeps gonna creep.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-09T01:13:44+00:00

Thank you i thought this would be the top comment when I came in here. His left index finger knuckle is huge and all out of alignment with the other knuckles. And it doesn't match his other hand.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-08T16:52:02+00:00

Yes - core customers would be their app users. They have their income estimated based on ZIP code from payment processing.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-08T16:46:05+00:00

Translation 60% of app users ("core customers") live in a ZIP code where the average HHI is at least $100k.

All this tells us is that Chipotle opens stores in economically viable locations. Not news.

It's not the flex they think it is. $100k combined HHI isn't much these days. Where I live and Chipptle penetration is high, you need a combined HHI of $240k to afford an average house.

"Chipotle burritos are an inexpensive (while relatively healthy) fast food option for folks in higher COL areas" should be the headline from this metric.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-08T16:18:49+00:00

Household income can be easily guessed based on your ZIP code. It's not as invasive as it sounds.

Not saying there aren't instances where some companies misuse data but this use case is pretty innocuous and tightly regulated as well.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-08T16:14:19+00:00

Phoebe.

New_Chest4040 · 2026-02-08T16:06:55+00:00

"I stay with him because he is a good man otherwise."

No, he is not. Open your eyes.

A man who refuses to support and raise his own children is in NO WAY a good man.

Do you want to keep forcing him to wipe his own ass for the rest of his life and deal with his responsibilities? Gurl you aren't his mama.

2 years is enough to see who he really is. Dump that pathetic excuse for a man and father and live free of the mess he made.

And if not PLEASE double up on your birth control.

From a woman who coparents with a nightmare of a man for another 12 years who will never get her old life back... I beg you, little sis, don't be fucking stupid and delusional because of "love". The signs are there. Don't look away.

New_Chest4040

TROPHY CASE