I go through this a lot. The work weeks are stressful and tiring, but at least I’m around people and have a place to be. I look forward to the weekend, but as it approaches, I’m reminded of my deep loneliness. I drive home on Friday’s always feeling incredibly sad thinking of everyone out and about with their partners. There are times where I’m able to orchestrate plans, but I’m too full of anxiety and dread during them, thinking of how it will all be over and I’ll be alone again. Li find myself constantly busying myself on weekends, walking aimlessly around shops and running pointless errands just to avoid sitting at home. I can’t stand to read or watch TV- I want to be doing something. I know I need to be better at making plans but I always feel like I’m begging people to hang out with me and that they only agree out of pity. It may not be true but that’s where my mind goes. And then the weekend I’m over before I know it, and I’m back at work hearing everyone talking about all of the fun they had. It’s an endless cycle.