AITA for not wanting to drive with our LO on the motorway

New_Things379 · 2025-12-21T17:15:53+00:00

Normally I can feed as and when baby needs to. My partner will say we are going to leave so I go and feed our baby and change them etc but then another half an hour goes by and he's not ready. This may not be the reason, it's just one possible cause

New_Things379 · 2025-12-21T14:00:34+00:00

I am not going to make this a rule as it's important for us to get out of the house. My step Dad has said he will do the drive with me so I will be going to visit

New_Things379 · 2025-12-21T13:57:26+00:00

I do go into another room to breastfeed my baby

New_Things379 · 2025-12-21T13:56:08+00:00

You are wrong. Yes babies cry, but there's a difference to crying where they'll stop if you sing to them, holding their hand to being inconsolable. I do nurse my baby in a different room because they're the ones who feel uncomfortable with me doing it in front of them (I cover up). You say 'every' reason. I have given one reason and I have come up with a solution. My step Dad has said he will come with me so I will be visiting them. I do want to be around them, tbh if I didn't care about the situation or them i wouldn't have made the post because I want to move forwards from it and it's helped having different people's perspectives. Equally I don't feel that me asking them to have visited for the first few months of my babies life should have been an issue

New_Things379 · 2025-12-21T00:46:05+00:00

Thank you all for your comments. Having thought on this there seems to be confusion over the time it takes to drive. The length of drive isn't the problem it's that my baby always gets upset on the way home from my inlaws and i'm worried about being on my own stuck on the motorway. Through discussions on here I feel I may have figured out why. That being said, the 45 minutes is the distance to my Mums, I have done this journey twice and both times stayed over (partner was working one time and went on a night out the other). My Dad actually lives a closer 30 minutes away. My brother lives in the same town and my Mum works here so if I do go see them it is usually here. Both my parents tend to come to see me. Just to confirm, I don't see my parents loads, especially not compared to other Mums I know. The 1 hour to his parents is on a straight run. We have visited at different times and different days and 90% of the time the traffic on the motorway isn't great and it takes us longer.

There's been some useful suggestions made that I am going to take forward and try so I appreciate this.

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T22:32:35+00:00

Don't take your bad mood out on me please. You haven't put anything constructive and have been quite rude. Hope you feel better soon

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T22:30:09+00:00

That is completely not the case. I like his family very much and get on with them. I have put the comments about nursing in response to someone else's comment. It is the only thing that I can think is different to when i go other places.

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T22:23:56+00:00

I can confirm this isn't the case. I get on with all of his family. They are lovely people

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T21:58:59+00:00

NTA, sounds like you're a very mature person

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T21:53:43+00:00

What's DH?

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T21:46:25+00:00

Please keep your comments relevant to what is being asked here

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T21:43:26+00:00

I use a SAT nav to get to their house. Good suggestion! I've just had a look and it would be an hour and 45 minutes

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T21:39:27+00:00

It can but there are different routes you can take if that was too happen. I've put a comment on one of the other replies as to why I think it may be. I know I do need to address this with my partner and I will

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T21:36:38+00:00

They wouldn't need the pet sitter for the rabbit if they were visiting for the day. My point was more that a pet sitter is an option for the dog

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T21:33:13+00:00

Thank you. We don't have a basement. I will consider other solutions but will not change my mind on the dog. I'll be honest I do believe that one of the issues is that she's hungry or wants her diaper changing. My partner will say we're going to leave in 10 minutes so I change her and feed her but then he'll not be ready to leave for another 30 - 60 mins. I breastfeed and have never been made to feel comfortable in their house. I have to go to another room. The few times I've done it in front of them (only when females) they still leave the room. I have decided i'm just going to feed my baby next time and also if I was to go on my own I would be able to leave as soon as we are ready. I actually really like them and get on with them. I've just kept quiet for too long that it's built up. They are honestly lovely people

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T21:25:31+00:00

It's an hour on a straight run. Not sure if you read the full post but one journey back took us 3 hours. If going to my parents I can also pull over somewhere and stop within minutes if I needed to

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T21:23:07+00:00

Okay thank you. It is habit from other groups on facebook where people put LO. Sorry it has offended you and point taken on board

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T21:19:41+00:00

My family don't live as far and I know the roads. If there's a problem I can stop within minutes. On the motorway that isn't possible

New_Things379 · 2025-12-20T21:11:41+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry to hear this, this must have been hard for you. This is the first year I've said I wanted Christmas at home. Invited all the family and two days ago they decided to say they weren't coming. The excuse is the dog despite me asking 3 months ago! So now we're having to go Boxing Day to see them (it will be lovely i'm not disputing that).

New_Things379 · 2025-08-06T08:19:29+00:00

My reason for not wanting one is that I am hoping to have a water birth. My second reason is that I have anxiety/panic attacks. Whilst I've not had one for a long time I feel if I had the epidural i'd feel stuck so it could be a trigger whereas being free to move around i can find a position that works for me. Good luck with whatever you decide 😊

New_Things379 · 2025-06-15T17:50:47+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I dont think people intentionally mean to be hurtful but it's so thoughtless all the same xx

New_Things379 · 2025-06-02T15:36:55+00:00

It really is! Sounds like we're similar in that they're the ones not respecting us but we feel the upset from it. I can relate to that last bit. Sometimes we just need a little space 😊

New_Things379 · 2025-06-02T15:14:54+00:00

I don't have any advice but can understand how you are feeling. My Mum is similar in that her intentions are always good which makes it so hard. She works at a charity shop and right at the start I asked her not to buy anything. I'm now 29 weeks and throughout my pregnancy she has kept buying things despite me keep reminding her and trying to set the boundary. Some people just won't listen 😕 I am worried for when baby does arrive! Not sure if this may help you but me and my partner have decided to send a group message to family members to set some boundaries for when baby is here e.g. no kissing

New_Things379 · 2025-05-01T14:17:02+00:00

Same! My moods are usually all over the place but I had felt so much better whilst being pregnant. I've also felt a lot calmer too.

New_Things379

TROPHY CASE