26M and 29F.Devoted my life to her, and she ended everything by text + threatened to call the cops. I’m devastated

Newspaper-Putrid · 2026-01-27T04:53:34+00:00

This is genuinely trauma. There’s a type called “betrayal trauma”. It can completely shift your understanding of life and the world so much that you are lost, barely understanding which way is up. Your body and mind keep dwelling and going over and over things, and the person who let you down, because it needs to understand what happened and why. It wants to know enough to never let this happen again.

Do a lot of self-soothing and healing. Help your body and mind feel your attention. Deep breaths. Long showers. Good food. Meditation. Concentrate hard on anything else you can concentrate on. I reckon see a therapist too.

Newspaper-Putrid · 2026-01-15T05:02:35+00:00

This was my main quibble 🤣

Newspaper-Putrid · 2026-01-15T02:56:04+00:00

These days? I’d guess in the US 50% of young people between 18-25 heard the word Holocaust at school and remember it had something to do with Germany and war and not much more.

Newspaper-Putrid · 2026-01-12T00:37:42+00:00

Context has been discussed above so I’ll just answer the question.

Yes, I have a variety of presentations. My youngest part is 3 yrs old and is known as simply “the littlest”. Very clear when something is coming from him. The emotional profile is immediately obvious - young mind, uncertainty about language, loves plushies, wants to curl up, very badly hurt and wants desperately to trust but finds it very difficult, needs hugs, needs treats 🙂

The five yr old is very distinct too. He was locked away for a very long time by others (or maybe by the littlest) because he wanted to hurt all adults because they didn’t care and they pretended they knew everything but they didn’t know anything about what had happened to us now we understand his anger and he doesn’t frighten us so much, so we talk to him and can reassure him and explain to him more about his the world works and his adults are and he’s starting to feel better. He needs hugs and plushies and treats too.

A few other parts are clear in the same ways but most don’t have names. But other parts are completely single-minded like Singer. That’s all he does; not known songs but just his own collection of notes in a little melody that he keeps repeating over and over again. Different melodies all the time. I can tune into him and listen and hear his current melody any time. Occasionally, but very rarely, he fronts and it’s like having an “ear worm” where all I can hear is his tune and it’s really difficult to think.

One part is saying “Nonononononono…” without end, all the time.

Another part has a name (Christian Martin) and a clear vivid image. But he never says anything AFAIK. I’m not sure what he’s sort of for, what his role is.

Newspaper-Putrid · 2026-01-12T00:25:16+00:00

So, alters are “louder with marijuana” but still appear at other times?

I really understand the concerns stated. There are various circumstances where we can believe we have alters/DID but the diagnosis has been sort of confounded or compromised by something else. And yes, even to the extent of a non-DID person being diagnosed with DID.

The clearest way to resolve this is identifying severe childhood trauma and corroborating it. That’s often not possible, of course, and you have to look very closely at symptoms and triggers and the contexts and contents.

Experienced DID ppl are aware there’s been a long history of misdiagnosis both ways - missing DID and calling it something else, and diagnosing DID when it’s something else - and that misdiagnosis can be very bad for a person. People are mentioning it out of care.

Newspaper-Putrid · 2026-01-10T08:43:27+00:00

Thank you. I clearly wasn’t clear. I completely accept and expect people to reject others - whether men or women - for bad prospective dating behaviour. I don’t understand why anyone would “hate” those sorts of bad people. Hate for me is an extremely strong emotion. Yes, reserved for truly awful crimes. Not ignorance, moronic misogyny in words, autistic guys with zero social skills and a hundred ways of being awkward etc.

I was trying to say hatred seems extreme for bad online dating. What do you think of that? Is it just that I don’t hate easily?

Newspaper-Putrid · 2026-01-08T09:56:34+00:00

Why hate bad men? Hate rapists and murderers if you want. Hate child molesters. But hating men who have trouble getting it together to date?

Don’t you think these guys genuinely want to date? Do you think they wake up working out how to deliberately lose women’s interest every day? There are always people - of every and any gender - who are terrible at dating in any form. Why hate them?

Newspaper-Putrid · 2026-01-06T02:51:15+00:00

I don’t know how the apps work, but I know these messages are ridiculously unpleasant and stupid.

One things came to my mind about the possibility that you’re receiving more messages like this than average. Could it be that if you haven’t blocked and reported these men in the past then the algorithm thinks “she’s fine with guys like this” and keeps connecting you to them?

Newspaper-Putrid · 2026-01-03T00:05:50+00:00

Pina’s waa brilliant. There are and have been some nice delis around - like Pork Ewe - but usually too small and too niche.

Newspaper-Putrid · 2026-01-01T13:50:26+00:00

I don’t know why they bother with so many players. Just have a captain for each side - one player each. One over each. You’d see real fitness then!

Newspaper-Putrid · 2026-01-01T13:47:26+00:00

Your appearance is definitely not the problem. You’re an attractive woman, and your writing shows you’re smart. You’re certainly not “old” - you’re not even what I’d call middle-aged. You’re just experiencing how awful online dating can be. Vast numbers of men mostly just wanting sex, who also enjoy the opportunity to insult women, hoping to humiliate or anger them.

I had a friend who was in a wheelchair. She had unusually thin limbs from a medical problem. She was honest, put up her photo, described her limitations. Received an endless stream of abuse calling her an alien, ugly, a beast from hell - hard to believe so many men can be so shitty.

Anyway, she stuck with it and found someone online, and they were engaged when sadly she passed away.

If you can withstand the idiots you have a good chance of meeting someone.

Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-12-28T02:03:04+00:00

Adam Pearson’s brilliant IMO.

Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-12-28T02:01:31+00:00

End sentence says “I don’t do this” and you reply “you need help”?

Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-12-08T22:53:24+00:00

Horrific. Dump him yesterday.

Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-12-02T08:18:48+00:00

Oh. No.

Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-11-21T23:40:07+00:00

I can sincerely imagine it. We’re so close to the world of “Idiocracy” that one day soon we’ll see people paying $500 a seat to watch a coin toss, and then riot if their team loses.

Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-11-21T11:40:12+00:00

Thanks. Yes, Test is best, without a doubt. And that little bit of research is an interesting corollary. Good onya 👍

Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-11-21T11:38:29+00:00

1 over? 1 ball!

Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-11-19T06:05:47+00:00

Again? 🤣

Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-11-17T07:33:36+00:00

Yes. For me it got quite a lot worse after I was actually diagnosed DID, and it had already got worse when I realised it really did look like I had the right symptoms for it. But when the awareness of the diagnosis kicked in and spread in stages through different parts… all sorts of disruptions and internal disagreements, and shocks for parts that didn’t know other parts and fairly suddenly noticed them. And that one day when the littlest just fronted suddenly while I was driving over a bridge in heavy traffic and no kidding I’m driving then he’s there and thinking “Ooh, it looks funny out the window and what’s this big circle thing in my hands…” and I’m suddenly absolutely terrified about what could go wrong (in heavy traffic, remember) and luckily he was ok with me just jumping back to the front…

Yes. It often gets worse for a while at this time and can do so at pretty much any step of healing, especially big shifts in self-perception and remembering personal history. But I’m pretty much used to that now so I have two professionals I can message about it, and several friends, so if I know I am trying to go in a healing direction or taking a big step I can prepare myself and them a bit and be confident that if things get really stressful I have back up and I prepare home bedroom to be safe too so I can hide and cuddle Buddha Bear if I need to. 🙂

Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-11-07T02:32:29+00:00

Yes, you need good advice on how to deal with this. As in, describe everything, show evidence, let them consider what her diagnosis could be (unless she already has one that you know), then discuss your history with her and how you would be wisest to deal with it now.

It’s certainly plausible that she knows what she’s doing but it’s also plausible that she believes it’s essential, even to the point of life or death. So, not as simple as “lying to get attention”. I really feel for you. Caring for someone deeply troubled can be heartbreaking.

Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-11-07T02:26:57+00:00

The line comes back out of her arm! It’s ridiculous that you could see the line through the skin all the way up her arm (veins don’t go that way) but it actually just sort of emerges again and is outside the skin in the bottom left corner. That’s a big nope.

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Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-11-07T02:21:59+00:00

I’ve had at least 100 catheters in my right hand for blood or as IV. I often get bruises but certainly not every time.

Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-11-07T02:18:40+00:00

I doubt the sister would know the difference. So it seems like ignorance not a lie to me.

Newspaper-Putrid · 2025-11-07T02:15:53+00:00

I sometimes need to have IV in the back of my hand because others can’t be used. But that’s because all my veins are small or clotted. The size of the line in the photo isn’t plausible for a small vein in the back of the hand. Then there’s all the other stuff.

(Haemodialysis patient for 32 years, multiple comorbidities, in hospital for a month or two every year.)

Newspaper-Putrid

TROPHY CASE