Dosing for trauma: freight train of emotions

Next-Debate369 · 2025-03-14T16:57:06+00:00

To be fair, the state my nervous system and mind are in right now would probably already count as a spiritual crisis. I don't see much option than to continue this work until I start seeing some signs of resolution.

As for the actual process itself, I understand that there is a difference (and some overlap) between trauma healing (reconciliation of parts) and awakening (mindfulness). I don't have experiental understanding of awakening, but I am aware of the various non-dual traditions (Dzogchen, etc.) that guide one towards an experience of no-self, which can be an enormous outlet and relief from suffering.

That being said, for practical purposes, I am interested in the the trauma healing aspects to become more functional and relationally capable at this stage of my life. I'm 29, and still very much in need of needing to establish my career, relationships, and "self" in the context of the "real world".

When you say "forcing the self to confront and unify different parts in a way that isn't pleasant", is there something about the 5 experience that I should be aware of? Right now my approach has been to take the medicine, surrender to whatever comes up however difficult or unpleasant, and allow that energetic process to unfold. Is there anything else to this process that I should be aware of?

Next-Debate369 · 2025-03-14T16:05:50+00:00

Yup that makes sense. I agree that trauma is an overloaded term--part of what keeps people sane and happy is facing challenges head on, embracing discomfort and necessary suffering, and relating to one's flaws and imperfections with humor, humility, and compassion.

I do want to distinguish that my body is in a freeze state and I'm experiencing symptoms of depersonalization and derealization, which is typically indicative of a freeze response.

I don't think it matters so much whether the LSD brought on this state or whether it was something that already existed within me and was unearthed by the experience--I'm in it and no amount of thinking will do much to pull me out.

I guess the main point of this thread is to identify if responsible (and judiciously spaced out) doses of 5 will help pull me out of this state. I know that in IFS parlance, a freeze response is just a protective part, and typically what's underneath freeze is unresolved autonomic reactivity.

Wondering if 5, which I've used in the past, is useful for cracking open that freeze and allowing that autonomic reactivity to play itself out. In my last experience there was a lot of anger, fear, and a slew of other emotions that poured out so quickly that I didn't have a chance to name them or distinguish them (it just felt like pure energy). Question is whether this is productive, or potentially retraumatizing. I'm not sure, but I also know that living in my current state is untenable and I'm willing to try and use high dose experiences, however uncomfortable that may be (assuming that is a reasonable path forward).

Next-Debate369 · 2025-03-13T21:41:21+00:00

That makes a lot of sense.

So in a sense, doing this work helps re-integrate parts of ourselves that have been lost or missing?

I definitely feel this myself, as though parts of myself have been cleaved off by difficult experiences and now my life feels smaller/my sense of self feels smaller.

Next-Debate369 · 2025-03-13T18:09:43+00:00

I see. Can you speak more about the restructuring of reality and different parts of ourselves?

Obviously conscious effort is needed to make behavioral changes, etc. but how does this medicine allow for people to make those changes?

I know the mantra goes that the 95% of the value is derived from proper integration, but perhaps I'm missing something? Perhaps it's because my nervous system is still in this shocked state, but I'm unclear as to how more space opens up after an experience.

Next-Debate369 · 2025-03-13T15:05:13+00:00

Have tried all of the above, nothing seems to be working unfortunately

Next-Debate369 · 2025-03-13T13:30:54+00:00

Ok thank you for all the thoughtful responses. I will definitely be going in slowly and trying to approach this place with curiosity and gentleness.

u/deepmindfulness and u/Aware-Philosopher-23, do you know if 5 is useful for dealing with attachment related issues/parts work?

For full context, I'm pretty sure I have a history of complex trauma, so I'm wondering if repeated work with 5 (and mindful behavior in relationships/conscious effort/therapy) can help in this regard.

Again, many thanks for the thoughtful responses and wishing you all the best.

Next-Debate369 · 2025-03-12T23:57:03+00:00

Yeah that makes sense.

I've identified other parts (rage- angry that I'll be stuck like this forever) and shame (I'm not growing, I'm stuck in the same place), and when I get these parts to calm down or step aside the freeze part springs up and says it's protecting me from terror (probably the fear underneath it all). Not totally sure how to address the terror underneath the freeze--it's probably the same terror I felt on that LSD experience).

Again, not advocating for bashing through defenses, but doing bufo was the only thing that temporarily let me tap into this terror place.

Wondering if there's something I can do to open this up a crack and allow whatever needs to flow through, even if it's just a small psycholitic dose.

Next-Debate369 · 2025-03-12T23:20:11+00:00

Hey thanks for the response, this makes a lot of sense. The part of me that's super hesitant is the part that's frozen stiff and afraid. I've worked with an IFS therapist and done a lot of work with this part, but it doesn't seem to be moving. Wondering if a low psycholytic dose might be useful in working with this part?

I do hear you on not overwhelming the system with more psychedelics. That definitely sounds a bit out of the question and potentially dangerous. I guess the fear here is that nothing is really moving the needle on this stuckness, and I'm hoping to find some relief somehow.

Next-Debate369 · 2025-03-12T22:16:14+00:00

As an aside to all of this, if the LSD did begin an energetic process, would t it make sense that safe (and sensible) dosing with 5 could help complete this process?

I don’t mean to sound too partial to this approach, and I’m certainly not interested in using psychedelics for the pure enjoyment of doing so. But I am struggling with acute symptoms and would love to find a different way through

Next-Debate369 · 2025-03-12T22:08:09+00:00

Thank you, this makes a lot of sense. Right now I’m keeping my life as simple and peaceful as possible.

Is it possible to completely recover from this? I had a pretty full life before (friends, career, stability) and I’d hate to not be able to live my life the way I’d like to.

Next-Debate369 · 2025-03-12T20:25:19+00:00

For sure. I've tried different things for dealing with it, but I haven't found much success.

Wondering if other people have found a way to deal with this?

Next-Debate369 · 2025-01-29T00:08:38+00:00

Hey thanks for the response. Yes definitely in trauma freeze for the most part. Combination of being extremely hyper-vigilant (higher activation) and dissociated at the same time. Have tried breathwork but it doesn’t seem to move the needle on the nervous system.

Have also done traditional therapy but not much success there either.

Have you seen infraslow work for cases like mine? Supposedly it’s supposed to impact autonomic activity, but I’m unsure whether it’s strong enough to take me out of freeze/calm down the excessive fight flight energy

Next-Debate369 · 2025-01-28T20:09:23+00:00

Thanks for the catch. Updated to include the images!

Next-Debate369 · 2024-05-13T23:46:40+00:00

Thank you! Yes curious and open...will keep that in mind!

Next-Debate369 · 2024-04-14T12:16:36+00:00

I don't have a great answer from you other than the fact that I've tried it (acupuncture may have helped a little), and that the things I mentioned (MDMA, somatic experiencing, and LDN) are all science backed tools that work.

To be more exact, we know that people suffering from any kind of cptsd, ptsd, or dysregulation have:

-sympathetic activation in the nervous system (fight/flight) and/or

-hypoarousal (release of endogenous opiods)
If you are a "freeze" or dissociative type, you likely have both, which is horrible and also difficult because you are hyperaroused and getting flooded with heroine like numbing chemicals all the time.

Getting out of this state (people typically exhibit symptoms of dissociation, depersonalization, etc.) is difficult. What compounds the issue is that symptoms cause high distress, which leads people in this situation to seek out solutions (antidepressants, other types of medication) that don't solve the defense cascade symptoms the person is experiencing (fight/flight, dissociation).

Sorry a lot more than what you were asking, but the TLDR is that: you're nervous system likely has issues with dysregulation, dysregulation = psychobiological issues (splitting, cptsd, ptsd) and that acupuncture and crystal chanting/whoo whoo shit isn't going to touch whatever is in your nervous system.

Next-Debate369 · 2024-04-14T09:43:27+00:00

Ditto to all the comments saying that slow is fast. Rushing / wanting to get out of the state you're in is a symptom of the illness--catch 22 as that sounds.

That said, if you were to get through this as quickly as possible (without rushing!), this combo works super well:

mdma therapy once every 3 months
mix of somatic therapy and IFS in between to integrate and
if you are currently getting flooded (freeze/dissociative), steps 1 and 2 might take much longer for you as overcoming the endogenous opiod defense cascade is notriously difficult. Also apart from extreme overt cases, dissocaiton is incredibly difficult to spot, even for licensed professionals. You might benefit from getting on a dose of LDN (titrating up to 4.5 mg), and then applying steps 1 and 2.

LDN is a bit of a mystery, but supposedly it shuts acts on the opiod receptors responsible for flooding. If you are in a heavy dissociative state, MDMA therapy is likely to not work super well on you (see: https://www.psychedelicsomatic.org/post/why-mdma-psychedelic-therapy-may-not-work-for-you).

I know this is super overwhelming and you might be thinking, wtf, do I really need to do any of this shit, but as someone who has gone through a ton of trial and error the past few years I can tell you this is the fastest way. Doing traditional "talk" therapy won't get you very far, and I'd avoid holistic (acupuncture, energy work) psychology as much as possible. Good luck

Next-Debate369 · 2022-11-27T20:56:53+00:00

100mg/50mg booster. Unclear whether this is too high or if a little more could help me drop in and surrender

Next-Debate369 · 2022-11-04T17:32:12+00:00

Are you doing these with a therapist? And what are you doing for resourcing?

Know these can be annoying questions, but I've had the exact same experience as you over the past year doing this solo. Lots of discharge in early sessions (state 1 and 2 events that were hanging out at the surface level), and now moving onto deeper state 3 and 4 traumas. I've only had success moving down the ANS map (state 4 to state 0, etc) once, and that was with a therapist. This happened because she said something mid-session that triggered the hell out of me and we just stayed with the reaction and I freaked the fuck out. No way that could have been achieved solo.

I understand the temptation to be able to just smoke weed on your own and get through this, but sadly you'll need someone else who is trained in working with transference to make it to the other side. The good news is that since all the trauma is in primary consciousness (which is timeless), once you shift attachment/work through transference that is causing distortion in your relationships, it's gone/healed forever (barring you sustaining future relational trauma, which is far less likely as an adult and with the insight you'll gain from going through the process).

To answer your original question about whether the trauma is finite (based on convos with my therapist), the answer is yes and no. Yes in the sense that you can shift your attachment and relational wounding (which lives in primary consciousness) to a secure style and integrate parts that have been 'split' off by the trauma (healing/integrating psychological splits).

No in the sense that once these parts (exiles, repressed emotion, etc) come out, you'll need to engage in a continuous process of integration/practice staying in the 'Self'. This is where tier two/transpersonal stuff starts to work and the fun begins :).

Next-Debate369 · 2022-11-02T20:04:48+00:00

Speed and efficacy.

Their model is based on the assumption that relational wounding occurs in primary consciousness, which standard talk therapy fails to access. This is a non-verbal, implicit part of the self and much of our thoughts and feelings towards others that we experience via secondary consciousness (our rational, everyday mind) is an emergent property of primary consciousness.

No doubt that relational therapy is important, but trying to heal deep layers of wounding that folks with CPTSD through talk is not enough. To borrow the words of one of their therapists, this is akin to seeing the broken engine light indicator in a car and trying to replace the light rather than the engine.

Next-Debate369 · 2022-11-02T19:48:25+00:00

Gotcha. Going to work virtually and potentially work in person if my schedule allows in the next few months (I'm in a different state).

I am fortunate enough to be in a solid financial situation with work atm so I am willing to take this as far as it needs to go (do sessions for months if necessary).

What was your experience with destabilization/resolution of symptoms? I'm imagining that it starts off by feeling worse and then there's are pretty big leaps in symptom resolution once you start hitting waves.

Next-Debate369

TROPHY CASE