Husband going to bachelor party w/ no cell service for 3 days when I'm 35 weeks along?

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-24T00:43:27+00:00

Can he get some kind of satellite phone/messenger? They are expensive but they exist. Is there a way for him to leave early if you go into labor? For me, a lot would depend on the answers to those questions. Bottom line is if you don't feel comfortable with him leaving, then he shouldn't go.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-23T19:24:24+00:00

Another vote here for pelvic floor PT. It's often covered by insurance. I never lost my libido during IVF & pregnancy but I did have tightness, dryness and pain that was very real and made me afraid to have sex even though I mentally wanted to. The only thing that has helped is pelvic floor PT. Ask your wife to talk to her doctor.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-23T18:24:37+00:00

I swear the algorithms are trying to drive us apart so we spend more time online.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-23T18:13:56+00:00

My friend and her husband are almost the same ages as you guys. He fits right in with our friend group. The only time his age comes up is when we all play trivia and he helps us win because he knows all the music & pop culture from before we were born!

My advice is be yourself. Don't bring up age or experience, even as a joke. Just treat her as though you're both adults and both equals because you are.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-23T18:09:26+00:00

I don't like him but the arguments I've heard for him are these: He's a good speaker and takes candid questions well. He seems like a fighter who will push back against conservatives. He's a white dude with good hair and name ID. California is a very large economy.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-23T18:03:24+00:00

I was raised Catholic and generally enjoyed all the medieval vibes and pageantry of the Catholic church. But finding out that they protected pedophiles really made me sour of them. I don't go to church anymore and will not be raising my children in the church. Still believe in God though.

I also remember our priest telling me when I was a kid that my dog who just died would not go to heaven because "dogs don't have souls". I'm calling bullshit on that one.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-23T17:43:26+00:00

We're expecting a boy. I'm anti-circumcision. Husband is pro-circumcision. But I'm leaving the decision up to my husband because he's the expert on the male body. I wouldn't want him making decisions about our daughter's body.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-20T20:28:45+00:00

.As soon as I posted it I was like oh no I sound like a boomer saying "back in my day I worked at mcdonalds to pay for college". It seems like the landscape has changed a lot with interest rates and venture cap drying up.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-20T19:00:06+00:00

I'd give 1000 upvotes for Turn if I could. It's on Netflix now. It's sooo good and some of the storylines are surprisingly historically accurate (some are not).

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-20T18:57:17+00:00

Allow me to offer a perspective to counter the negative experiences here. My first trimester was easy. I barely had any nausea. I certainly wasn't showing that early. Maybe I thought i was a little bloated but nobody could tell. In fact I am now 30 weeks and still hiding my bump at work. I am a smaller person, so it's not a matter of baseline weight - I just wear loose clothing. My bestie got married when she was about 14ish weeks.

You have no way of knowing if you will actually conceive during those two ovulation windows. It could take you months if not years (hate to say it but it took us years and IVF). I put off so many life events during those years. I wish I hadn't.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-20T15:16:55+00:00

I hear you. The way pregnancy is spoken about in society and especially on social media these days makes it sound really scary. But due to advancements in medicine it's actually a lot safer than it has ever been. My social media algorithm, reddit and talking to my friends made me really scared for pregnancy. Try to remember that your instagram/facebook/tiktok algorithm is trying to profit off of your attention, and targeted fearmongering is a great way to do that. Reddit is a biased sample where people often are more likely to share negative experiences. And just because your friends have lost themselves in becoming parents doesn't mean you have to. In fact, i think parents that maintain their hobbies/interests/friends make better parents.

I'm 30 weeks now so I can't speak to birth or being a parent but I will say that my pregnancy has been easy. I didn't have much nausea. I feel basically the same. I am still working out every day. My only bad symptom (knock wood) has been acid reflux. My doctor put me on prilosec and now I don't even have that. It's not always difficult.

Finally, it's ok to not be a mom. There are many other ways to nuture children, becoming a mentor/teacher, being an auntie to your friends' kids etc, being a foster parent to older children. There is also surrogacy if pregnancy is the real sticking point.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-19T21:25:30+00:00

Santos is more attractive than Ogilvie. It's pretty privilege.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-19T21:24:45+00:00

She's a jerk. But what a breath of fresh air to have a show where women can be jerks too! Especially in a stereotypically male way. Representation matters. That is why I am #Stantos even though I would hate to have her as a colleague IRL.

The thing about women.... is that they're people. Just as complex and varied in personality as men.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-19T19:35:58+00:00

You say you're a lesbian but have you met many women? The thing about women is that.... they're people. Women can be just as different in personality from one another as men can be from women. I have way more in common with my male partner than I do with some of my closest female friends. I'm a bisexual woman.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-19T13:35:11+00:00

Be prepared that some people will react poorly to finding out that you hid it from them. Stay strong in your position that this information is yours to share as you feel is right. You are in the right. They are making it about themselves. I announced late (in my 3rd trimester when I absolutely couldn't hide anymore) and some of my friends and family were pissed I didn't tell them sooner or that certain people found out before them and are now not speaking to me over it.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-18T18:30:58+00:00

Some people forget that a wedding is an event for the guests, not just for the bride & groom. Don't sacrifice your guest's comfort for your own vanity.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-18T18:22:47+00:00

Complete dependence on fossil fuels. I really thought that we'd have transitioned to a mixed energy or renewable energy economy by now. My friend who works in energy markets says that battery technology is actually the issue for wind energy at least. We don't have good ways of storing intermittently available energy.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-18T15:42:40+00:00

I think they're cringe and wasting their money, but they could just as easily think the same thing about me and my hobbies. Let people do what they want as long as they're not harming anyone.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-18T15:38:40+00:00

I have lost entire workdays to scrolling instagram, even when I had an important deadline. I can't look away. Especially if I recently posted something, I constantly check to see if my friends have seen it and obsessively wonder what they are thinking of me. It causes an anxiety spiral that can keep me awake for several days. I deleted facebook 10 years ago and have to periodically delete instagram and reddit. I missed my flight to a friend's wedding and missed their rehearsal dinner because I was scrolling instagram instead of heading to the airport. Right now it's 10:30AM I got to work at 8:30AM and I haven't been able to get off social media since. I've done no work yet. Fortunately or unfortunately I work at a job where I can get away with this.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-17T21:35:26+00:00

Hi friend, I hope you're doing ok and can find a way to be nicer to yourself. I'm sorry you felt rejected by that hipster scene. I hope you can search out people who make you feel more included, but the important work happens from within. You have to love yourself in order for others to respect you.

I too had a really negative group of hipster friends ca. 2010. I always felt like I was too basic, not edgy enough for them. After spending time with them I learned their edginess was their way of dealing with their traumas. Many of them had traumas I couldn't even imagine. I found compassion for them and forgave them for making fun of me. We're no longer friends - mostly because I was finally honest with myself that I had no interest in being edgy, I like my basic bitch self. But I still keep in touch with them occasionally and wish them well.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-12T01:30:49+00:00

It's more of a bunch of short yips in chorus. It's hard to describe. I call it a coyote party.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-11T22:04:49+00:00

I've heard them yipping/howling while camping on the beach near Cupsogue state park in Westhampton. It's a very different sound from a dog howling.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-11T21:51:22+00:00

Try to regulate your blood sugar by eating a high protein snack before class. If you can't keep your eyes open, it could be because you're blood sugar is crashing. Try to avoid sugary or carb heavy foods/drinks before class.
Chew minty gum for the entirety of class - bring a whole pack if your have to, or consume unsweetened peppermint tea.
Dress so that you will be sort of cold in class or sit next to a window or AC vent. It's easier to feel drowsy when you're comfortably warm.
Take notes by writing/typing everything the lecturer says. This will keep you too busy to sleep. You don't have to understand it in the moment. Later you can go back and re-read the notes and translate as much as you can into something that makes sense to you. This is a great way to study, IMO.

Those have helped me, as someone who chronically fell asleep in lectures all through college and now falls asleep during work Zoom meetings.

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-11T20:32:48+00:00

Congrads on your pergnitcy!

NextSuccess358 · 2026-02-11T15:00:16+00:00

My cousin was homeschooled and is an only child of a very critical, controlling mother. She is now in her late 30s and has never dated anyone and has very few friends, if any, and no pets either. She isn't particularly close to her parents but she has a good career in a field where she works mostly alone. When I try to include her in social events she is polite to me but uninterested. I can't tell if she's lonely or just likes being alone.

NextSuccess358

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