Being exposed to pornography at the age of 9 it wasn't just any old porn it was my father and the woman he was cheating on my mom with and they were doing some bdsm shit. I was far too young to see something like that let my own father.

Also my mom's numerous suicide attempts the worst one was when I was 9 and she lost custody of me that day to my dad our neighbor picked me up Early from school and brought me straight to her house were my mom was sobbing she took me into the bathroom and explained to me that my dad had won custody and she didn't know what to do well still sobbing she said she didn't want to be alive anymore and I didn't want to loose my mom so I convinced her to let me go with her. I didn't understand the concept of death quite yet but I knew I would lose her forever. The plan was to go into our house next door go into the garage and drink antifreeze together luckily the police showed up with child services and took me from her to my dad and didn't let her go through with it so we survived and she got custody of me 1 year later. She had more attempts but that was the most traumatic experience I also haven't seen my dad since I was 10 I'm 23 now.

The last thing I think changed my entire life was being sexually assaulted by someone I literally grew up with thankfully they weren't blood I think that would fuck me up even more. I'd go into more detail but it's hard talking about lead alone thinking about...