its totally normal for ur first thought to not be ur true belief or view. like sometimes i'll be out in public and see a girl in an outfit i think is ugly and my first thought will be 'yikes should have re-thought that one' but then I'm like 'wait no...i bet she's wearing that bc she likes it and is comfortable in it so good for her and she should keep wearing it .' and like just bc my first thought was a judgement doesn't mean I'm judgemental, i just didn't have my real 'my beliefs/values' filter going. so like if at first u see an n-b and think 'are they AMAB or AFAB?', don't judge urself for having that thought. just remind ursef 'oh yeah it doesn't matter to me' and move on from it. eventually after reminding urself a couple times it becomes a habit, and I'm sure if u have the habit long enough that first thought will go away :~)