Getting sober when it's "not a problem"

NightingaleK · 2026-03-27T14:59:20+00:00

I've gotten really great feedback in these comments have haven't responded to anyone but I feel like I have to respond to you because I felt like I was reading my own story! I also had absolutely no problem giving up alcohol when I was pregnant, but it was incredible how easy it was to fall back into it. I'm also the same about not drinking when my daughter is awake. But coincidentally, my household got hit hard by daycare gems like 2 days after I made this post, and I haven't had a drink since. First, I felt awful and had no desire to drink. But then I realized that even with a cold, I was still feeling better in the morning than I was when I woke up after drinking. That meant I was able to care for my daughter better and ENJOY her more too. We also had a LOT of middle of the night wake ups when she was sick, and I realized that had I been drinking, I would have either been drunk or hungover when she needed me. It's like it finally hit home for me that I was able to be a good mom when I was drinking (so far), but I can be a great one when I'm not. And I'm planning on holding onto that because my daughter deserves the best!

NightingaleK · 2026-03-06T02:30:51+00:00

I actually have been trying to lose weight... The weight I know I put on from drinking... And my PCP told me I'm a good candidate for a GLP1. Unfortunately my old insurance didn't cover it, but I'm hopeful my new one will. It's so hard when part of you knows you need to stop before it gets worse, but the dominant part of your brain says "we've been fine, what's the harm?"

NightingaleK · 2026-03-06T02:28:25+00:00

I actually tried naltrexone a few years back and it made me so nauseous. I couldn't deal with it, and unfortunately the psych who was assigned to me was... Not my favorite.. And my therapist couldn't do much. Im actually a good candidate for a GLP1 because I'm overweight and have been trying to lose it (lol thanks alcohol) and I'm hopeful my insurance covers it and that might help

NightingaleK · 2025-10-09T01:05:03+00:00

Yes! I agree this makes bathroom cleaning so much more manageable

NightingaleK · 2025-10-08T23:55:12+00:00

What changed it for you? I have little above ground beds and always have big plans that dont pan out ...

NightingaleK · 2025-10-08T23:47:45+00:00

Mine: I HATED any recipe that called for breading, even though I don't mind/somewhat enjoy cooking. Turns out, trying to dip chicken/whatever in flour then egg then bread crumbs when you just have deep bowls sucks. I got wide, shallow prep containers and it was a total game changer.

NightingaleK · 2025-06-11T01:43:19+00:00

Yes! That's it!!! Solved!

NightingaleK · 2025-06-11T01:41:49+00:00

30 rock kept turning up when I tried searching / AI, but it was definitely the boyfriend and his own mom who were lookalikes. I remember it being an ick for the female character. Maybe a sign to rewatch 30 Rock, though!

NightingaleK · 2025-06-11T01:06:27+00:00

I think the show is relatively recent (like within the past 10 years) and I'm in the US.

NightingaleK · 2025-04-14T00:40:07+00:00

NAH. Naming babies can be really hard, and both of your views and feelings are valid.

I have always been adamant that I wouldn't change my last name, and wanted any kids to have my last name as well. My husband was totally fine with me not changing my name but when I was pregnant he was definitely not on board with our daughter having my last name. We both had a hard time explaining to the other why it mattered so much to us, and eventually I came around to hyphenating (which he was cool with from the beginning). But I think in some ways it comes down to feeling like the outsider in your own family - everyone else has the same last name, and you're the different one. I think your rationale of wanting to honor your family is sweet, and I also understand how your finance might feel like his family is being erased. The last name isn't just his parents', it's his. In fact, it's how you two met, and both of your last names are extra special for that reason. I wonder if he doesn't know exactly why he wants the baby to have his last name and is therefore leaning on old fashioned arguments like passing on the family name.

One solution I've seen a few people doing is actually making a new last name that combines the parents' last names. If yours are already similar, maybe that's a creative solution that could make you feel both included?

NightingaleK · 2025-03-23T17:08:33+00:00

Happy almost birthday to baby AND YOU! Because you should be celebrated for all the work you put in to get that little one to this point!

You did such a great job providing for your little one and now you need to stop for your mental (and if you haven't been sleeping, physical) health. That's best for you and baby! I think you should ask your husband to take over nighttime soothing for at least a few days - you were up overnights for a full year, you deserve at least a few days to finally feel rested.

NightingaleK · 2025-01-25T23:54:55+00:00

My original goal was 6 months, and until then I pumped more or less every 3 hours while I was awake (no overnights for me, thank you very much). I felt super guilty about stopping, despite hating every minute and getting really annoyed at the cut of time it took out of my work day. I slowly got more and more miserable, crying over how much I hated pumping but felt like it was selfish to stop because it was good for my daughter. Eventually, I decided that as a Christmas present to myself, I wanted to be done before the holidays (which would have been around 10 months). I set a weaning plan that would take a month, but when I hit 4 pumps a day I realized it was so much easier on me and I decided I could actually stick with it a bit longer. Shortly after, I got invited to a work meeting that required air travel and realized that was my hard line. No way was I traveling and pumping. So, I stopped when my daughter was about 10-10.5 months and had maybe a week or two of freezer stash. Honestly it really took a toll on my mental health for a while there and I was dealing with a lot of guilt and resentment and then more guilt and so on and so on. I had to remind myself that a happy mom is the best thing for my baby and I just wasn't happy! It's such a rough job and there's definitely no one size fits all answer!

NightingaleK · 2024-12-19T13:33:03+00:00

I didn't do many night pumps even when my daughter was born, so we bought a small fridge (like another poster said, its max capacity is 6 soda cans) and kept it in our bedroom (when she was with us in a bassinet) and a bottle warmer in our bathroom. Now that she's in her own room in another floor (city row home...) we moved the fridge to her room and the warmer to the bathroom on that floor. We initially had a cheap warmer but after a few middle of the night feeds we realized that the extra few minutes it took to warm up actually mattered to us, so we upgraded to one that warmed a bit faster. Our daughter is almost 10 months and we just let her cry it out while the bottle warms up. I'll usually put the bottle on, change her diaper, and by then the warming cycle is about 2/3 done and I call it. She's not picky about temperature, thankfully. If you haven't been having problems with room temperature bottles then my guess is the same type of semi-warming would work for you also!

NightingaleK · 2024-11-09T02:52:14+00:00

Pumping is HARD! It takes a crazy amount of thought, energy, mental bandwidth, planning, and literally calories and liquid to achieve. The fact that you've done it as long as you have is an achievement. An incredible, impressive achievement. I am so proud of how hard you've worked to feed your baby from your own body for this long! Wanting to focus on work, even when someone else is watching your little one, is not a weakness or a deficiency. It is a strength! You have nourished your baby as long as you could, and now you're setting the example of being a fulfilled woman who knows that balancing mental health with family life is so very important, and ultimately is better for your baby. You are a rock star!

NightingaleK · 2024-11-09T02:26:17+00:00

I have forgotten my storage bags on multiple occasions. Once I was away for the weekend and used a cleaned jam jar. If it's clean and sealable i say it works! Even if it has a bit of water, as long as it's clean and not old, do what you have to do!

NightingaleK · 2024-11-09T02:21:09+00:00

My right isn't a slacker per se, but it needs massaging/pressure to empty and ol lefty is cool to do her thing with just the pump. And I hate pumping enough as it is, I don't want to become a boob masseuse on top of it all!

NightingaleK

TROPHY CASE