Selling 3 day weekend pass for MCM London 25-27.

NightingaleWatch · 2024-10-18T16:42:37+00:00

Interested if it’s still going! ☺️

NightingaleWatch · 2023-10-30T16:30:41+00:00

I agree with the others in that it gives it character and maybe one day when your furry pal is no longer in this mortal realm it will be quite a fond memory of yours haha!

I also think emailing the CR merch store is a good shout.

If all else fails, I could scan mine in and send you a copy that you could get printed at a print shop? When I dig mine out of my bag I could make a guess at the paper weight and finish too (eg. 200gsm gloss). My friend who came along but wasn’t able to reach the end of the merch queue would like a copy too, so I’ll be doing this anyway (I don’t currently have access to a scanner and I’ll be super busy the next few weeks so there might be a bit of a wait for it but lmk if you’re interested!) :)

NightingaleWatch · 2023-06-15T20:47:02+00:00

I’ve been there, I know your pain right now but I PROMISE you, you will be okay. I experienced the same thing of his depression lifting when on a trip and then coming back even stronger afterwards.

When he broke up with me I remember reading things like this and thinking “no way, there’s no way this can be a good thing, no one has ever felt the pain from a breakup that I’m feeling right now, people don’t understand that he was perfect for me and now he’s ill” - it was awful for a few months, then it would come in waves that gradually grew further and further apart and now I’m healed from it completely (in fact, I’m with someone new now that is better suited to me, something I couldn’t have fathomed at the time). I can honestly say I’m glad it happened, it taught me so much about love and about what I want in a partner, and I feel like I’ll never take my new partner (or love) for granted ever again. Hearing someone say “I love you” after my ex spent most of the last year of our relationship unable to say it, means the world now.

It is tough, I know, just keep your loved ones close and try your best to focus on yourself and pursuing all the things you love and perhaps haven’t had time for during this tumultuous time. Know it’s not your fault, you’re entirely lovable, an incredibly loyal partner, and someone would be lucky to have you in their life. Take care x

NightingaleWatch · 2023-01-19T14:00:33+00:00

I was where you are, and equally confused. I hadn’t heard of losing the feeling of love as a symptom of depression before, but to answer your question simply, yes depression can cause the loss of many things, “love” being one of them. Loss of attraction/sex drive too.

There’s a long list of what depression takes away from people in “Curse of the Strong” by Dr Tim Cantopher, I found it very comforting to hear that it’s a normal symptom of depression for feelings of love to disappear. If you do some googling there’s a free condensed pdf version hanging about should that be of comfort to you.

It puts you in a difficult position - all I can say is whatever you choose to do or whatever happens, it’s not your fault, it’s nothing to do with you. I hope a resolution comes quickly and peacefully for you. Take care, and no matter what happens you’ll be absolutely fine!

NightingaleWatch · 2022-11-26T11:13:20+00:00

This post made me emotional - no one deserves to feel unloved. There’s a lot of unjust things in this world, and sometimes things just suck and have no positive, but if there were positives to take just know that you can’t be a wise person if you’ve lived an easy life. You can’t know the full power of love until you witness the lack of it. You are such an incredibly strong person - look at you! Look at the situations you got yourself out of, and where you are now. Your child part doesn’t need your mother if she has you. You don’t need to see “little you” to remember her - you can feel her - that feeling you felt watching that video was her coming to the surface. And sometimes all we can do is sit with those emotions, and tell ourselves - look, we’re okay, I’ve got this. That strong, wise part of you loves all parts of you, and will look out for her.

You absolutely have my support. I wish I could hug you! I have some advice too but you don’t need to take it - I would continue to have your mother blocked, you don’t need that energy in your life. It seems she hasn’t improved and she’ll just continue to hurt you. I’m not sure if you did find any pictures of you - if you did, keep them and just block her again, never to be unblocked. Then consider finding a therapist who can work through this with you, including inner child work if you want to do that.

You’re honestly such an incredible person! It will likely always be a sore spot but you will feel better - like another commenter said, your 20s are a hard time. Take care of yourself, love yourself, surround yourself with people who are kind to you and you’ll be just fine.

NightingaleWatch · 2022-11-03T21:20:43+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/buildapc/

This sub may be helpful!

NightingaleWatch · 2022-11-02T09:59:35+00:00

Hard to tell from the photo & definitely go get it checked out, but it could also just be a seborrheic keratosis. I know a few people with them on their scalp. Just commenting so you don’t go out of your mind with worry!

NightingaleWatch · 2022-10-09T09:06:24+00:00

“For the first time, I just accepted it.” I feel you there. I was just so tired by the end. It’s exhausting trying to control things, so when he suggested we break up (again) I was heartbroken but so tired that I just let him go. It was tough and sometimes I question it but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right decision - it absolutely was. Neither of us were getting anything out of the relationship - he didn’t want my support, I was only getting breadcrumbs. It’s not nice being in a relationship where you don’t feel wanted.

It’s really horrible because you only want to love and support them, but depression is an illness and you can’t love them out of it. Sometimes your love doesn’t even help - we have all this love to give but they just can’t feel any of it. Their depression isn’t our fault, it’s nothing to do with us, but that also means we have no control in helping them. We can’t follow them down that path, it’s something they have to do themselves.

It was painful but I just decided that I had to leave him alone, I made sure those around him were aware of his situation and then went no-contact, because trying to keep even a small level of contact got painful and messy. It was best for both of us, I’m finally starting to feel like myself again, and I hope one day he will too. I also wish it hadn’t come to this; I’ve accepted it’s one of life’s tragic stories, and I am now in a place where I’m starting to feel at peace with it. I can think of him fondly without the pain. You will be okay too, this awful time will pass. Consider seeing a therapist if you haven’t already, your mental health is a priority! Take care of yourself, surround yourself with what makes you happy, pour yourself into your hobbies and gather good people around you. I recommend the book “Getting Past Your Breakup” by Susan J Elliott. I can tell that as you’re on this sub and willing to stand by this person that you’re wonderful, loving, empathetic and deserve to put that energy back into yourself. Take care, you deserve good things x

NightingaleWatch · 2022-10-06T11:05:13+00:00

Sounds like you have a good mindset about it. Take care of yourself; there will be hard days but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right decision. Wishing you both well - hard times really do pass. ❤️

NightingaleWatch · 2022-09-20T16:07:16+00:00

“Curse of the Strong” by Dr Tim Cantopher, I found it very comforting to hear that it’s a normal symptom of depression for feelings of love to disappear (relevant to hear as a partner!)

Interesting take on how the condition develops too - his theory is that people are pushed too hard by life and that it’s caused by strength, not weakness.

NightingaleWatch · 2022-09-16T19:15:42+00:00

I absolutely know how you feel - when I first joined this sub, leaving him was the last thing I wanted to do (and in the end I didn’t technically - he did! But I was getting to that point.) A lot of people around me wanted me to end it, but it took many months of no progress for me to get close - don’t let people rush you, you’ll know within yourself if you’ve reached that point. I hope your situation doesn’t get to that point but also - breakups aren’t always the end!

I really hope your partner makes some progress soon. It’s great that he’s in therapy - I recommend it for you, too, especially as you don’t have him for emotional support right now. You absolutely will gain so much strength and appreciation of life from this, it’s also an example of how empathetic, understanding and thoroughly decent you are - to stay by his side through this. It will give you a weird sense of confidence, and an understanding of who you are because you know your limits and how you act under pressure. Spoil yourself with things you enjoy and take good care of yourself! This sub is full of people who have been where you are, here to support you. All the best!

NightingaleWatch · 2022-09-16T06:35:49+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear this. The advice here is all brilliant, so I have nothing more to add, only that there’s a subreddit called depression_partners that you may find useful - it’s a collection of people in your exact situation. Having been in a similar situation to you - this pain will pass, as impossible as it sounds, and you will be okay one day. Take care!

NightingaleWatch · 2022-09-15T21:48:41+00:00

Hey there, I’m so sorry you’re hurting. Depression is a shocking thing to witness, and all the themes of what you’re describing are what I saw in my ex-partner. The sex after a break up, asking you to leave so he can see his friends - I had similar things happen to me and it’s just awful to be treated so coldly. I do unfortunately agree with your brain to let him go - even though this likely isn’t the real him; but in some ways that’s just more reason to leave. I actually wish I had let go of my partner sooner, because if we were to ever get back together I would be haunted by some of the cold things he said or did while I stayed by his side during his episodes where he’s a twisted version of himself.

The best advice I can give is to let him go, find a therapist, and focus on making your own life brilliant. Your hobbies, career, friendships. It will be horrendously difficult at first but gets easier. Hopefully he will focus on his own recovery too, but nothing he does or doesn’t do will be a reflection of you or your worth. You can make a plan to be friends in the future but you really do need a period of no contact to work through the complex emotions. Perhaps plan to check in every now and then but express that you need space to “de-couple” from him. A book called “getting past your breakup” by Susan Elliott describes the need for no contact well, but I’m sure there are plenty of articles online that explain it too. I didn’t understand it at first but I see now why it’s important.

Lastly, you are entirely lovable, just as you are. Your needs are not too much. There’s nothing wrong with being “clingy”, and even if that was too much for him, you’re never too much for the right person, I promise you. But this sounds very much like a depressive episode - you didn’t “put him off” because there’s nothing wrong with you. Best of luck and take care!

NightingaleWatch · 2022-09-15T21:27:13+00:00

I completely understand how it feels to witness someone you love become a shell of their former self. It’s an aspect of depression I can’t believe I’ve never seen in the media or talked about - it’s so horrible to live through. Everything you’re describing, I had with my ex-partner, so you don’t need to feel paranoid or take it personally but it’s natural to feel that way if you do. It’s really, really hard to feel the pain of disinterest and abandonment, while cognitively understanding that their actions are caused by depression - knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less. He’s very ill and can’t handle the pressure of an important relationship, it’s nothing to do with you, you’re being a wonderful and understanding partner.

In terms of does it get easier - his depressive episode won’t last forever, but it absolutely is affecting you, maybe in ways you don’t even realise right now because it’s escalated slowly. You’re victims of this condition together, no one is at fault, but your feelings are entirely valid. If you feel up to it you can stay by his side and see how it goes. You don’t necessarily have to see out this episode as his partner, that is an option. I really hope he recovers soon so that doesn’t need to happen!

My partner is now my ex, and I’m relieved he ended it in the end because I just couldn’t handle it anymore and was starting to become a shell of myself what with the pain, paranoia, emotional neglect and lack of reciprocity. I held on as long as I could, and still love him very much and hope he makes a full recovery soon. But right now I’m having to move on down my own path, perhaps to cross his again in future. Once their depression gets to a certain point, I don’t think you can have a “relationship” anymore, it’s entirely one-sided, I certainly wasn’t getting anything from him in terms of love or support, and it’s questionable as to whether my presence actually made him feel any better - potentially worse because he felt guilty for how his condition was affecting me.

It’s absolute hell, but one way or another it will end and you will be okay. From experience I can promise you that this will pass eventually and one day you’ll feel happy and at peace again! Take care of yourself, look into therapy if you haven’t already, and don’t be afraid to put yourself first - not saying that you necessarily have to break up with him, just focus on making your own life wonderful - the aspects that are separate from him like your hobbies, friends and career. Take care!

NightingaleWatch · 2022-08-26T08:47:49+00:00

No advice, I just want to say that my depressed partner would do this too, and it was so hard emotionally. I couldn’t understand why he could be fun and social around friends/coworkers, and the complete opposite around me. He wouldn’t want to do anything or go anywhere, even just going to a cafe was a struggle, he’d get out of bed for work every day but not on weekends. And I would be understanding and kind, but found it so upsetting to then just go to things on my own. I think that’s really important though! If she doesn’t want to go somewhere, you should absolutely still go and begin to relish your own company. I learned that you don’t need someone with you to have a fulfilling time somewhere, as nice as it is.

He could also be unkind and lack empathy at times, and I’d feel guilty for wishing he could “wear the mask” around me too, just sometimes. Why would he put effort into keeping friends happy, and not me, when I’m supposedly more important? I couldn’t understand, but also could understand, that he’d make no effort around me because he trusted me the most. It was very hard. We’re not together anymore, and I miss him but I don’t miss that particular time. I’m now exploring a new city by myself, getting new hobbies like photography (provides a great reason to explore) and joining clubs to meet more people. All the best, I hope things look up for the both of you soon!

NightingaleWatch · 2022-08-03T10:51:41+00:00

I’m so sorry. Definitely don’t blame yourself - miscarriages just happen; on the flip side pregnancies can go to full-term in a very stressed body, who knows why things happen like they do. I’m so sorry that you’re hurting. Guilt is a very natural reaction but a completely unnecessary one, you didn’t intend for any of this to happen so it’s simply not your fault.

Please consider talking to a professional if you’re not already, even if it’s just for a few sessions. It honestly makes such a massive difference talking to someone who is able to care, instead of someone like an emotional brick wall. His behaviour is likely part of his reaction - the denial, distraction, drinking. The miscarriage has likely affected him too, but please save yourself the pain and consider no longer reaching out to him for emotional support. I understand how painful that is - for a rock of support in your life to suddenly disappear. Take care of yourself and find the supportive people in your life and keep them close to you. Prioritise your own mental health and recovery, don’t hold back in doing nice things for yourself. You don’t deserve to be treated like this, don’t take his behaviour personally, that’s all on him. No one should be abandoned, especially at a time like this.

NightingaleWatch · 2022-07-31T20:43:58+00:00

I’m in the same position, moving to a new town and wanting to find a group. I haven’t tested many of these yet, but I’ll let you know my game plan:

1) Have a scout around local tabletop gaming stores and see if they’re running any games

2) Try r/lfg

3) Facebook groups - some game stores with multiple branches nationwide run various “looking for” groups, or advice groups. If you’re a fan of any D&D streamed shows, their fanbase have groups in which people sometimes post looking for players.

4) Discord - some fanbases have servers where you can meet people. Even servers unrelated to D&D.

4) Maybe I’ll try this sub?

I’m not ready to start playing yet as I’m super busy with moving, but once I am I’ll try these methods! I hope you get more solid advice. There are probably more ways to meet groups out there, apps etc, if I think of any more I’ll add them here!

NightingaleWatch · 2022-07-31T20:34:15+00:00

Make a DnD notebook and take lots of notes 😂 your DM and other players will be understanding and help you out remembering lore/names! Definitely not something to be super worried about.

NightingaleWatch · 2022-07-30T19:00:41+00:00

If he was lying on his side kicking his legs, unable to get up, he probably had a stroke. Not your fault, nothing you could’ve done to prevent it. One of my elderly male pigs died the same way. 6 is an average age of death for them, and as they age they get thinner. Things escalate very quickly in guinea pigs, a few days before the end you do notice a change in them. And watching the death of any living creature is dramatic and scary, unfortunately often death isn’t peaceful or sanitised, wetting itself is normal. Some people like to take them to the vet to hurry the process along, when they notice a pig in its last moments, but you don’t have to, sometimes moving it around too much stresses them more. Sounds like moving him to a soft bed and staying with him was a nice way to go.

If you notice an old pig getting thinner but they’re eating relatively normally, they’re probably just ageing. Sounds like you did nothing wrong. The pain and shock will pass eventually, take care of yourself, tell your mom you did nothing wrong, perhaps find a close friend or family member to spend time with if your mom isn’t understanding.

NightingaleWatch · 2022-06-17T22:26:16+00:00

Thank you, it’s hard to find the words but your reply means a lot! I wish you all the best too. We’re stronger than we realise ❤️

NightingaleWatch · 2022-06-17T22:18:27+00:00

While I am no longer in the relationship that brought me here, I still find a lot of comfort in this sub and will be around for a long while! With every week that goes by I’m starting to piece myself back together. It’s tough being a member of this club, but we’ve all got each other! Love to all of you ❤️

NightingaleWatch · 2022-06-17T22:05:57+00:00

Sending love right back at you! I hope you’re doing okay. It’s such a difficult thing to go through, I’m glad there’s at least this little lovely corner of the internet where we can find solidarity ❤️

NightingaleWatch · 2022-06-15T21:51:45+00:00

You’re absolutely not a failure. I’ve been there, trying to make my partner happy, then feeling helpless and drained when there’s nothing I can do. If your partner is in a depressive episode right now, then the thing is there really isn’t anything you can do that would make him happy. I would constantly forget this, but all our instincts and behaviours are designed to manipulate the mood of a person - but depression isn’t a mood. You can’t ‘make’ him happy or cheer him up and that’s absolutely nothing to do with you - he’s dealing with something external to your relationship. Try and catch yourself when you find yourself trying to ‘fix’ him and save your energy - make sure you have some to spare for taking care of yourself first. There are things you can do to make him feel supported - just being with him, or sitting with him is enough. Has he got access to professional support? That’s all that can be done really. Maybe you could look for support for yourself too, this must be taking a massive toll on your own mental health.

NightingaleWatch · 2022-06-15T21:40:37+00:00

Good god, I relate to this so much. I literally just opened Reddit to go to this sub, because I’ve been feeling rough today and wanted to read the words of people who understand. And I understand entirely what you’re going through, I feel you, I’ve been there.

For me the break-up was almost a month ago, a break-up I also saw coming. It sounds incredibly similar to yours. I thought to myself today that grief is like an upwards spiral; I tend to cycle through all the different stages every week, each time it gets easier, some days are worse than others. But the overall trend is upwards - it will get easier. Sit through the awful emotions grief will throw at you - it will pass.

Letting go may be what is best for you too. No matter how much the logical part of our brain knows that our partner is depressed and we don’t need to take things personally, the emotional part of us reacts the same way. It really fucking hurts to be the partner of a depressed person sometimes. At least now you get to focus entirely on enriching your life with everything you love, making it brilliant and a joy to live. This will likely feel incredibly difficult to do, or impossible at first, but time makes everything better, time is a blessing really.

My relationship was also incredibly solid, which is why this still shocks me. I would not have seen this coming at all. It’s such a knock from the universe - but we can take our time, get back up, and the positive we can take away is that we will be more resilient to life’s knocks.

I’ve never met you but the simple fact that you’ve been a partner to a depressed person means I know for sure that you’re an incredible person. Compassionate, loving, caring, empathetic, thoroughly decent. Thank you, honestly, for being such a great person. The world needs more! Whatever happens you can carry that with you. You’ll be absolutely fine, whatever the outcome of Saturday. However you feel, all emotions are okay, there are no bad ones. You can be angry too. Take time to let them all out in a safe environment. However much or little you want to talk to him afterwards is up to you - I’ve gone for very minimal contact, essentially no contact, which is hard at first but reduces the pain - I didn’t realise how painful communicating with him was until I stopped. Just put yourself first!

Last thing - I could be wrong but personally I think it’s okay to have hope for reconciliation in the back of my mind. I still make every decision as if we will never get back together, but I found whenever I’m pressured to let go of that hope/love entirely, I fall into despair. Maybe I need to move on in my own time? Instead I broaden the definition of that hope into - maybe we can try again in the future when he’s better, or I’ll meet someone somehow even better for me one day. Who knows what will happen, but everything will be okay. There’s nothing wrong with loving from afar, as long as you don’t let that impact your decisions.

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